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has this ever happened to anyone?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by needshelp, Oct 27, 2011.

  1. needshelp

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    have you ever felt like a member of the opposite sex was coming on to you and you wanted to tell them that you were gay even though you're still in the process of acknowledging and accepting the fact that you're gay? :icon_sad: to me, this is the worst feeling ever. this couldn't have happened in the worse possible time.
     
    #1 needshelp, Oct 27, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2011
  2. MommaFrog

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    Um, yes.... and I told him "Um... I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian..." and he didn't beleive me.... So I made sure he knew i didn't like him like that and just kinda.... stopped talking to him...
     
  3. needshelp

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    wow. were you still in the closet at the time to yourself, i guess?

    i'm a bit unsure that i'm gay and i guess that's a part of the denial process that i'm going through. this is really annoying me, momma frog. feeling a bit anxious due to eating too much candy. :help:
     
  4. Wolfgirl90

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    Hey,
    I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm still dealing with personal-acceptance of myself at the moment. If a guy flirts with me, I feel like I'm in a dilemma sometimes. On one hand it's like: You have a nice face, and you are a nice person. I wonder if I could 'force myself' to make it work with you?
    And then, I mentally slap myself (gently) because I know in my heart I'm not sexually attracted to men- Even though it's socially inconvenient. So, what do people like you and I do when we're confronted with the opposite sex flirting with us?
    1) You can lie around your sexuality, for now, without suggesting you're straight but not saying you're gay. And tell them something else that will 'work'

    A). You can make up something like: I've got a lot going on in my life at the moment, and I'm going through some personal stuff. I'm not looking for a relationship.
    -Just don't add on "right now"..because then she'll think : Okay, not now. But later! =D...
    B) Or, you could just tell her forwardly that you just want friendship with her.

    2.) If she's a close enough friend, you could consider coming out to her and tell her that you're questioning your sexuality at the moment, and you don't think it'd be a good idea for you to get involved with her while you're trying to sort it out.

    :slight_smile:
     
  5. MommaFrog

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    I totally was in the closet to myself. I am actually still in the process of a divorce to a man I had a child with... ((hence the Momma part of Momma Frog))

    I want candy... :frowning2:

    I still have issues accepting myself as (mostly) a lesbian... I have told few people I know IRL, and no one in my family.... I have issues picturing myself with a woman, but I have always been rather uncomfortable with myself around men.... so.... *shrug*

    Hope I helped at least a little....
     
  6. pinkclare

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    Yes, I had that all the time when I was still in the pre-coming out stages! It was obnoxious at the time, but now it's kind of funny to look back on it. Life puts us in the strangest situations!

    If you're not ready to come out, remember that there are other perfectly acceptable reasons to not be interested in someone. You can tell a girl "thanks but no thanks" without having to tell her that you're gay.
     
  7. J Snow

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    I honestly don't feel like I've ever gotten any attention from females. Dudes on the other hand aren't as picky.
     
  8. ukeye

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    Yes this has happened to me. Ive accepted myself, but I'm aware of women who are into me, and I get smiles all the time and I still feel a bit awkward. Its nice to be noticed though I guess. There is nothing wrong with flirting, and I've found women are usually hard to court.. so its not like they are going to trap you or force a kiss hehe.
     
  9. BushHippie

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    I'm no Brad Pitt but I get pretty consistent attention from girls. It's kind of fun to flirt back, but when they start trying to pull me in too much I start saying the last thing any reasonable manly guy would say (something about hair, nails, cosmetics). Sometimes they like it!

    It can be fun just to do (as long as you don't mess with their heads) but yeah it gets lonely when I don't get any of that from guys or are too afraid to initiate something like that in case he might be some homophobe.
     
  10. george678

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    Yes but I told them. It's the best thing to do, then they won't be hurt if they carry on in the long run.
     
  11. Lexington

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    One of the hottest, fun-nest, best-est women in college once announced, out of the blue, during dinner, "Any sane woman would have sex with Lex." With a bunch of friends at the table with me. I just sort of stared at her...and she smiled and said "And I'm as sane as they come. So...?"

    Mind you, at the time, I was JUST figuring out I might be gay. Had she asked me, oh, three months previous, I probably would've taken her up on it. But I was pretty sure that at this point, I didn't want to go down that route. And I had all my friends watching, none of whom knew I was currently going through this "crisis of faith". What followed was about sixty seconds of fumbled words and "you're such a good friend" and "hate to ruin that"...until she finally took pity on me and said that that was OK, and she thought that was sweet that I would feel that way.

    In short, I more or less came out to everybody that day. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  12. Rooni321

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    YESSS!! This perve guy keeps trying to talk to me..actually 3 of guys keep constantly trying to make a pass at me. Only 1 knows I'm gay but he still tries. So annoying.
    But I really don't feel like coming out to the other two because it won't matter anyways. And I don't want them knowing my life.
    Ughhh