hi all, i am realizing that i am bisexual and honestly feel like i am kinda misleading people who think i am straight or who just assume i am. i would tell my mom but she freaked when i came out to her as a lesbian soo that would not go over well, my boss who i am kinda close to is a really devout southern christian who i just don't feel she needs to know that about me... i have two amazing friends who are there for me and in fact, one of them is bi and the other one is gay... i feel like i am rambling and i am wondering if anyone else has felt this way and if you did feel this way, did you come out or leave this to be a part of your personal life?
I let them think I am str8...I know how to talk like I am str8....it makes it easier for the haters and those who think God hates gays.
i get what you are saying totally!! there are some that i am totally open to telling and then there are those who i feel don't need to know....
No. I personally don't think it's lying until someone asks you and you purposely mislead them. If other people want to make assumptions, that's their deal, not yours. Of course, if it really bothers you, then just tell them!
I for the most part feel the same way. Every time I talk to my family I feel like I'm lying to them but that is one of the biggest reasons that I'm going to tell them that I am gay in 21 day. Best of luck with what ever you are going to do. And remember in time every thing gets better.
I sometimes do feel like that. And I've lied to people when they have asked "Are you gay?". I've come out to some people. Usually if someone asks "Are you gay?" I have lied. But when a guy likes me I tell him I'm gay so he knows why I don't want to date him.
@Hayden... i was just thinking of what you said how if they haven't asked then it's not lying... and my boss thinks i likes someone and probably wouldn't even think of asking me anything about me sexuality wise....i could just tell them, you are right, but i am not feeling it is the right time to do so and there are some people who do not need to know...
People loss friends who cannot handle the pressure from haters who cannot handle those who have gay friends. People lose jobs and contact with people they love like members of their family. It is not and it is not right...it just IS! Maybe one day people will look back at and say what the hell were they thinking...like we did with slavery and locking up Japanese people in the 40's. Hate is basedd on ignorance/stupidty....look around ... how many stupid people do you know? I know lots of them....dummer than a box of rocks...but that is all God gave them to work...like he gave me smarts and gay to work with.
It really just depends on who it is. I did feel like I was lying to the people close to me. Even though nobody ever asked me if I was gay, I still felt terrible for not being truthful. To me, hiding the truth from them was just as bad as lying to them. That's why I came out to almost everybody important in my life. As far as everybody else goes, I really don't care if they think I'm straight (which they probably do). If they ask, I'll answer them truthfully.
I can understand what your saying. For me, it really matters on who it is that thinks I'm straight. I don't feel like it's lying when I don't tell people at my school that I'm gay, because I honestly really don't care about their opinions. The only people it seems to really matter with are friends that I haven't told yet, and my family. I don't like lying to people I trust. :/
I agree with this. However, depending on the person, I do feel bad at times, when they say something with the assumption that I am straight.
I have felt like it is lying sometimes. The lie of omission but as far as I'm concerned it is part of my personal life. I tell people that I consider safe (won't tell everyone and won't mind) but for the most part I have not come out to many people.
no.. the only person that i felt i really lied to about who i am is myself. i somewhat felt like i've lied to those around but that all goes back to me convincing myself that i was straight.
I don't think it's necessarily lying...they shouldn't make assumptions. Although it's clichéd, "labels are for soup cans" pretty much applies. Unless they're close friends or other people you want to know about it, they don't necessarily need to know who you're interested in...it's not really any of their business.
I've always been interested in this question... when I was heading back to school this semester, I talked with my mom about the possibility of coming out to the people in my Christian group up here, who are some of my closest friends. She suggested that maybe I should wait, since I wasn't even sure exactly how I wanted to identify/whether I liked guys. While I wasn't lying to them outright, I'm a relatively open person by nature, so not sharing a pretty important part of me felt tantamount to lying. Since I know I like girls, and I'm not sure about guys, I went for "gay", "pretty gay", or "more gay than not". As for the "it's not any of their business" view, I can understand it, but it's not really how I operate most of the time (and hopefully not at all once I come out to the rest of the fam and close friends from home). If someone had assumed I was gay when I thought I was straight, I would have corrected them, so why not now...? And perhaps by correcting them I can show them why they shouldn't just assume everyone is straight.
I did. Especially when I started seeing someone and I would get those "Why don't you have a girlfriend" questions at family parties.
Yes, it gets rather annoying having to hide an aspect of myself from people no matter who they are. I've never really "come out" to anyone per say - If it comes up in conversation, it does. I only hide it from really conservative people and my redneck extended family. Sometimes I think I should just stop caring about who knows altogether - Even if my ultra-conservative grandparents found out, I wouldn't care. I know that's a dumb idea, though.