What do you think about homosexuality being a choice.

I've given this argument some thought, and I've realized that this rebuttal probably wouldn't convince anyone who truly thinks we chose to be straight. We live in a culture where "straight" is the norm and "gay/lesbian/bisexual/other" is the deviation from that norm. As such, I'm willing to bet that the people who believe being gay is a choice believe that everyone is born straight. Thus they probably think that people who aren't straight chose to be that way, and the people who are straight just never made the choice to not be.

The statement "I chose to be straight," is no more an opinion than the statement, "I was born in Massachusetts." It's a statement of fact, and if I were born in Connecticut, that latter statement of fact would be wrong, just as if someone didn't actually one day make the conscious choice to be choose to be gay, saying they did would be wrong. I'm not going to claim to be able to speak for the people who chose yes, but "that's their opinion" isn't a defense for their statement anymore than I could defend claiming I was born in Connecticut by saying "That's my opinion."

 

That lady pisses me off to no end. She is spectacularly full of herself.

 

Errr who the heck are you to say they're wrong? Some people may have found it to be choice, or have thought of it as a choice, while others (like me and it seems you) don't feel there was a choice involved. That doesn't make either parties wrong, unless you can tell me 100% that you know anyone disagreeing with you is wrong. Which would be wonderfully ignorant, and the same thing a lot of people, especially on this forum, dislike (and in some cases hate).

 

The "choice" is in choosing to live what your eyes love/you are sexually aroused by or not. I don't mean pedophilia because that is just wrong... I am referring to homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, and pansexuality.

So therefore, it isn't a choice in my eyes.

 

Can someone explain to me what pansexuality is? I totally do not know what it means.

 

Pansexuality is being attracted to anyone regardless of their sex ("pan-" means "all"). It differs from bisexuality in that true bisexuals can't be attracted to post-op transexuals, while pansexuals can. True bisexuals can only be attracted to men and women, not post-op transexuals or hermaphrodites, whereas pansexuals can be attracted to those latter groups.

 

Ahaaa. Thanks for that.

 

Then what is the point of this thread? Why even have the option to vote for an option if someone like you or Revan shuts them down because they're obviously wrong (Your opinion)? Learn to accept that it is an opinion and that it's as an option to vote for in this thread.

I agree with this.

 

When people tell me I chose to be gay I usually inform them that many things in life are a choice, like choosing to hate

 

In a society where we are treated poorly, discriminated against, bullied to suicide, have laws against our wellbeing, I would not be able to begin to understand why someone would choose for that to happen to them.

 

Yet many gays claim that they would turn down a 'cure' if one were offered. As supposedly horrible as it is to be gay in society, there's apparently enough positives that some people enjoy being the way they are.

And yet neither of the people who voted on choice have voiced why they feel the way they do.

 

It's not about how awesome it is to be gay, it's that we shouldn't have to be "cured". There's nothing wrong with not being straight, there's something wrong with society for mistreating someone based on their sexual orientation.

 

Did you even read my reply? I said very explicitly, "I'm not going to claim to be able to speak for the people who chose yes," meaning I'm not going to say that someone is wrong if they claim that they chose be to gay. When did I claim that they are "obviously wrong"? All I claimed was that "I chose to be gay" is not an opinion; it is a statement of fact, and if they really chose to be gay, then it is true. Read my post again; I never said anything about that fact being wrong, and never shut the people who voted yes down. Seems to me (and this is just an opinion) that you were just looking for a reason to argue with me.

 

[/QUOTE]And yet neither of the people who voted on choice have voiced why they feel the way they do.[/QUOTE]

This. I wasn't trying to bash anyone's opinion, but I was wondering their reasoning behind it.

 

This is like the third thread on this topic in the last few weeks, but anyway... I can't vote in the poll, because although I myself don't feel that I chose my sexuality, I know people who say they did. So I do not believe it is a black-and-white issue.

 

True, however many gays defend the fact that homosexuality isn't a choice (which I'm not disputing) by stating how hard it is to be gay in society. However, for all its hardships, many gays would never choose to turn straight even if it were an option. Therefore, being gay isn't as horrible as they're making it out to be. I mean, if somebody offered a cure, and you turned it down, that would effectively be the same as choosing homosexuality. Whatever reasons somebody has for wanting to stay homosexual would be the same for whatever hypothetical person chooses to be homosexual.

Not trying to claim that homosexuality is choice, just saying some of the logic is faulty.

 

Interesting. You state that if there were a cure for homosexuality and I turned it down, that I would effectively be choosing to be gay. I've actually given that some thought as I'm sure some of you have.

I believe, in my case, it's a combination of my personality, possibly DNA, social and environmental influences that made me identify as being gay. Also, like many of you, it was an immense struggle. I often thought I should just find a girl, marry and settle down. "It'll go away." But that doubt will always remain. What if, one day, when we're married 13 years, I meet a man I wish I'd met all those years ago?

I wouldn't want to live, resenting myself and suspecting that I've robbed myself of the chance to be happy.

With regard to accepting the cure; personally, I struggled for 6 years, trying to figure out how my sexuality fit into the rest of me. It was an intense internal turmoil that almost broke me. In the end though, I decided to accept my sexuality as a part of who I am. Like the fact that I'm tall and have blue eyes.

That acceptance came at great cost. I won't sacrifice what I suffered through. Even if it is for a "cure".

 

I still think the question itself is flawed. "Is sexuality a choice?" Shouldn't the two answers then refer to sexual people and asexual people?

Then there's the question "is homosexuality a choice?" This phrasing is biased because it singles out homosexuality as the deviation from the norm; it implies that remaining "normal" (straight) is not a choice, but deviating from the norm is a choice. Double-standard.

I think a more accurate question would be "What are the determinants in sexual orientation?" The previous two questions imply that there are only two possible options, birth or free will. This question could have multiple answers, like:
-hereditary genes
-environmental influences
-brain structure (neuroendocrine theory)
-hormones
-the third trimester of pregnancy
-having older brothers, for gay males
-social influences
-other

As for accepting a "cure" or not, that implies that there is something wrong with being non-straight. Being non-straight isn't the problem, it's the heterosexist society that needs a cure. Yes, I'd like my life to be less difficult, but being straight isn't the right solution to that.

 

No, I hear what you're saying. And it makes sense, but I still don't think that not choosing to "cure" homosexuality means that it's ABOUT staying gay. For me it's not about wanting to be gay specifically, it's about the principle of the thing. I just feel that by saying I would choose to be other than how I am (however that may be) I'm saying that it's wrong to be me and that doesn't sit well. I shouldn't have to feel that way.
I understand that that's not what you're saying, but that's how I specifically feel about the whole "if there was a cure" thing. So if that's my reasoning, then it can't necessarily be applied to someone who hypothetically DID choose to be gay. They'd be choosing to be other than how they are, which is the opposite of what I would be doing by choosing to not change the fact that I'm gay. I hope I didn't blunder that up hahahaha I'm gone a bit verbose.

 

I do agree that in extreme situations, people do feel the need to try and 'be cured' because, let's say you live in a very conservative, religious household and you realize that you are gay. Because of how you've been brought up and how you know how family and friends will act, you feel as though you should go and get cured because you know that otherwise, you're life is going to take a turn for the worse.

When you say that people have turned down the 'cure' when it has been offered, it is because they have gone through all the questioning and the self doubt and finally go to a place where they can say "I'm proud of who I am and I don't want to be cured." However, people don't get to that point straight away. I have never heard of someone realize they were gay and go "Oh awesome!" but more a long the lines of "Awww shit." or "Great, now what am I going to do?"

And as people have stated before, gay people shouldn't feel the need to get cured because 'they gay' is not something that needs to be cured. If an LGBT person really wants to go find 'help' and 'get cured', then by all means, let them. You can't stop them from doing what they want within the eyes of the law, but we should educate them firstly about how being attracted to the same sex/both sexes is not a disease and that you can live a happy life whilst being LGBT.