how do you feel about being gay?

I'm not exactly gay but I am scared Unfortunately I haven't reached that "Not straight AND proud" part yet. Hopefully I will.

 

Im a gay girl and it took me awhile to feel good about my sexuality, probably four years since coming out. I finally feel confident about talking to girls and it feels great. Whatever your sexual orientation, you should feel proud of it.

 

My only qualms with it now are relatively minor. Queer folks are a smaller segment of the population, ergo, smaller dating pool, which sucks. Dating people who used to date other people I know would weird me the hell out, and apparently that's common among les/bi circles. I hate drama. Girls are really good at drama. ;_;

Also, despite loving women and dreaming of a cute li'l house with Future!Wife, and having absolutely no desire to be with a man, I guess whatever bit of me is biologically programmed to make babies is disappointed that it wouldn't be genetically both of ours. And we'd have to go through a bit of effort to make it happen. Somehow a clinic and a syringe isn't quite as romantic-sounding as the straight alternatives. (Though, it does mean I'm a lot less likely to get knocked up accidentally while drunk, so, there's a bright side!)

Other than that, though, I'm peachy keen about it.

My turning point? Was probably the period of time where I came to realize that peoples' reactions to my coming out was not, in fact, "Haha, YOU? Bitch, please."

My fear about being gay was not religious ramifications or rejections. I know my family well enough to know they wouldn't reject me, and I've seen my female friends make out with each other, so, there's that.

My biggest fear was that I was wrong. That the reason I didn't care for dating boys was that I just didn't care for dating. That I'd come out, realize I actually DID like boys and DIDN'T like girls, and have to go, "Oops, nevermind!" That I'd come out and realize I didn't want to date girls either, and that I'd just be destined to be a lonely virgin for the rest of my life because I was not interesting enough to be gay, and I was not interested enough in being straight. That people wouldn't believe me because I was too generic to be anything else.

I had some serious self-esteem issues, mind. I had a deeply-held belief that I was only nominally human; that I was in all ways inferior to everyone around me, and did not deserve anything so interesting as a sexuality. Because, of course, I was just a fat, ugly, spotty, boring loser, whose friends only tolerated her out of politeness, and who had no business offending anyone with anything even approaching affection. So uh, coming to terms with liking girls (who were all so much prettier than me oh god) took a while.

Realizing that, yes, I did like girls, and yes, that was okay (even if it was stupid ol' hideous ol' me) also did a lot to make me hate myself less. It was like finding a piece of a puzzle I'd been missing. I had, and still have, a lot of pieces to put back before I manage to tamp down that residual self-loathing to a level functional for dating, but I did find myself suddenly being able to meet my own eyes in the mirror.

 

Good question. Sitting here in my early 40's this question brings about a lifetime of feelings and choices.

I've spent most of my life in denial even though I've always suspected I was gay even as far back as my early teens.

Now that I accept that is what I am the difficulty has been how to operate in society so that my children are not negatively impacted and so my partner does not loose her family.

Having to live parts of my life in secret is hard. That part I don't like.

Waiting for my partner to become free of her "baggage" is incredibly stressful.

 

OMG I can relate so much to this. The fear of being wrong (hence why I tried to date men for like 4 years), the self esteem problems and finally trying to just accept it.

 

how do i feel about being gay.. huh..well.. i kind of like it to be honest. i enjoy walking to the beat of my own drum.

 

At first being bisexual bothered me. I thought that it was a sin. But as time went on I realized that I was not sinning, this is just the way that I am. After I realized that, it did not bother me, in fact I like it now.

 

I thought I was gay when I was 12/13
Then I thought I was asexual, but still had gay thoughts
then I hated my self some days
Then I started to accept myself
Now I can do anything I want, and am completely 100% comfortable with my sexuality.

 

I had my first crush on a guy when I was seven years old, the guy 'Casper' turns into was so cute lol. But, that frightened me. I thought there was something strange with that film. I later realized, I thought the film was strange because it had a guy I liked in that way.

When I was in high school, an all guys school I fell for a couple of the guys. I had no idea what was going on. I thought, maybe I'm bisexual (which I only heard due to the film 'Alexander' the Great) because I like both. I went online only to find science reports saying bisexuality doesn't exist. That really threw me for a loop. I knew I wasn't gay. I only saw really feminine guys as gay - no offense, small town suburbs - not a lot around. I decided to call myself a "strange straight guy" and push away any sense of liking guys. I couldn't. The quarterback openly flirted with me. And it was at this time I was introduced to actors Jeremy Sumpter, Alex Pettyfer, and Garrett Hedlund. I thought if I left that school, it would all go away.

Seven hours away, Long Island. I still fell for guys. I'm still friends with one of the guys and he has no idea that I had a crush on him all throughout college. He kinda looks like Hayden Christenson. I became "on the fence" - a part of me knew it, but denied it. I thought if I left there - I'd be okay...

Enter Los Angeles. There was no way I could deny it anymore. I went through a rough patch of feeling guilty as hell. I started noticing guys a lot more. I was mainly afraid my friends and family would reject me. Once I came out and found they were fine with it, I was finally able to accept myself. Come X-Men: First Class (the series I always related to since, in the back of my mind I've always known) - I came out to all my friends on facebook. Mutant and proud.

It also helps to be in LA among a lot of bi celebrity guys... here, it's kinda strange if you are completely straight. It's even, actually, a strength as Brando once noted. My hero: James Dean - brooding, guy's guy, bisexual artist. Today marks an even greater thrust forward to accepting myself more: a straight girl thanked me for admitting that I was bi because she's had feelings for girls in the past too. That's a complete reversal from some responses I've gotten. I really think the world at large is changing and rapidly at that. I see 12 and 13 year olds on here able to realize themselves at a younger age, that really gives me hope because around the time I was that age? There really wasn't much to go off of.