What Are You Thinking?

honestly speaking, i'm getting tired of being in the closet. yes, i said it. i want the whole world know that i'm gay so i can just get this whole thing done and over with already but then again, i know i'm not ready to come out. it's getting to get to the point where i'm tired of pretending that i'm straight. there's also a few things that i need to make changes with one of those being disowning my job. next year, it's time to go. paycheck or not, i'm out of there and when i'm ready to, i'm heading the fuck out the closet.

and another thing too, i still need to work on accepting being gay and just enjoying it. i'm thinking about this whole being gay, what if i'm straight, what if i'm bi bullshit too much. just let it go.


with that said, when that time comes for me to come out of the closet, i'm going to go to a gay bar with someone and get a beer.

 

There's so much on my mind.
Where the past 2 months with this guy have been.
Or more so where, if anywhere, it's leading.
I just want time to myself to think everything through.

Exams aren't over yet though, so I cannot afford myself that luxury.
Also, it doesn't help that Christmas is over and it seems like EVERYONE else is rearing down for the year.

 

Recently reassured that my friends really dont give about who i like.

 

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I miss my gf so much!

And I hate it when people don't text back, its not even that late yet...but I AM getting pretty tired from baby sitting. Debating whether or not to get a little bite of ice cream.
Delicious coffee ice cream from Hagen Daas...<3

I miss her! Damnit..</3

 

I have new derby wheels. This makes up for the splitting headache... also derby related. Helmets are awesome.

 

I also hate it when people say we're bonding. Its very cute and sweet, and mostly true, but I hate that word. And it sounds so straight, bleh!

Psshh. Bonding. So 5 year old.

<3

 

If I EVER hear that Christmas carol with yodeling in it again I will kill myself or beat myself unconcious.

 

Okay, I really hate some of you guys on EC for being really cute and unattainable. Handsome jerks.

 

I always hate it when other people say this, but:

2012 is going to be my year.

 

To or not to go to my dad's for the bears game and chili....hmmmm.....

 

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Just woke up from a dream where I seriously kicked some zombie butt to save my sister!~ :eusa_clap

 

That sounds AWESOME!

 

Words cannot even begin to describe how relieved I am feeling right now. I finally told my family that I had not been going to uni classes and that I didn't go to my exams. I finally told them what I want to do with my life and they took it well and I believe that they are going to totally support my decisions.

A massive weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I am so happy.

I am crying tears of relief and happiness as I write this. :')

 

Rinto wants oranges~

 

Well, I got a good night's rest last night (slept about 9 hours, yay me! ), but I still feel like crap. x_x At least my head's a little clearer....Meh.

 

its going to be a cold winter, a VERY, VERY, VERY cold winter. not a problem to me though. it's all good.

 

There's only one way to play chess.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7C3tvRv7hQ[/YOUTUBE]