Yes, to me it would. See the difference between my viewpoint and those other "marriage types" is they base it on religion which tells them all pre-marital sex is bad. :eusa_naug For me it's just the fact that the most sacred act is something I'd done with nobody else...that I hadn't gone all the way with anyone. I'd still consider that a special gift to my spouse.
Heh, glad someone agrees...the girl I was closest to in my life didn't one bit. This is from a few emails we exchanged after we mutually broke off our friendship/relationshp...just figured I'd put it all on the table- Her response: As you can see my viewpoint has fluctuated a bit as I said, but somehow I seem to have the most rotten luck falling in love with girls who are either "Super Christians" saving themselves completely or girls who already are in a relationship (as has been the case with a few recently) :lol: :icon_sad:
Here's a few more portions of emails I sent her, please read as they should give better insight into my mind/personality...
Ugh, it's past 3 AM and I'm laying here on my bed right now in one of my "I really wish I had a girlfriend" moods and wanting to cuddle up with Bridget or Lisa or Lauren or Amber or Caitlin or...anyways, I have such rotten luck, seems every nice girl I meet already has a boyfriend, is married, etc. :icon_sad: Isn't that sorta backwards? I thought the saying "all the good ones are already taken" applied to guys
So I was looking up info on positions for anal sex and came across a few pics which made me think hmm, that guy has a really nice looking penis... Lol I've never thought this sort of thing before, I only ever admired a man's upper body... What is going on???
I'm coming in late to this thread. There's a lot to digest, and I this reply might be a bit all over the place. But let me take a stab at it... You know, as an angineer, I'm struck by how much you're treating this like an engineering project I mean, you've mapped the contingencies, you read up all available articles, got a coherent drawing plan and functional analysis, did the offline testing, did limited online testing (though not with the intended end-user :icon_wink), spend every nigh wondering whether there's anything you overlooked, get frustrated when the project inevitably goes into overtime... And then are utterly flabbergasted when reality is always more complex than it seemed on the drawing table. Alas, as the others said: it doesn't work that way. And, in fact, I'm thinking that this attitude might be hampering you. For starters, it might throw other people off. I don't think girls get enthousiastic if a guy tells them he hopes to make them part of a subset of 30% women by his extensive study of their anatomy. And I don't think that outside of arranged marriages, you can convince someone with extensive analyses of pros and cons, or in-depth after action reports on who said what and how you interpreted this or felt about it. (Okay, I'll admit... I kind of like an analytical mindset like that... but I know I'm in a minority here) This might be why you get more action with your friend than with any girl. With girls you're just trying too hard, for lack of a better description. Those convos with your friends come off as playful and a bit of flirty, leaving some things unspoken, and generally feel like you're having a good time (even if you both are a little uncomfortable and I get the impression your friend is more bi or gay than he lets on). Your e-mails with that girl... sorry, I'm not feeling any chemistry there. You're trying to impress her with facts and figures and sweeping philosophical arguments, but you leave out the "I thought about you last night" part which is what really matters. I don't know quite how you get to the point of being more casual with girls, but it does help to not overly focus on the "23 year old virgin" part. So what if you're statistically late? Personally, I'm occasionally wondering how I managed to remain a virgin at 27, but I'm beyond really caring about it. I'm pretty confident I'll make up for it in quality later. In the meantime, it's best to just keep an open mind and take any opportunity at a leisurely pace. About that latest point: so, you found a guy looked cute below the belt too. Does that have to mean anything? Even if you're on the lower end of the Kinsey scale, it's probably bound to happen once in a while. Fantasies can just be guilt-free enjoyment, so enjoy it when it happens, I guess. I think the tl;dr of this is: I think you're overanalysing to the extreme, and that this, more than anything, is hurting you. Emotions are sometimes best examined when given some time to ferment, instead of being constantly prodded. Try to take it more as it comes. Take your time dating a girl without dragging in all the background research. If you feel like experimenting with your friend, then do just enjoy that (consensually and using appropriate safety, obviously). Find out what you feel by feeling it, rather than by analysing it. That's hard to do (by nature I tend to overanalyse a lot too), but I've found that with some effort at recognising when you're overaanalysing, you can improve that a bit.
What are you? A person trying to figure out your sexuality. Nothing to freak out about. I have battled the Bible many a time since my coming out, so if you need to chat on that front feel free to message me.
Heh, thanks for the response dude...nice to know there are others who get where I'm coming from. Unfortunately this project seems to be one I can't find a solution to... Yeah, well frankly I don't think you've told me anything I wasn't aware of...I think deep down I realize these faults, but it's good to have 'em re-emphasized. Unfortunately yes, it's easier said then done. Sometimes I wish I could just turn my brain off and let my heart guide me, lol.
That's what I thought too, but this doesn't seem to be the case considering we've tried anal intercourse twice now and he just can't seem to get hard while I'm in the room. And if he does finally get hard he also seems to have issues with condoms cause the moment he puts one on he starts to go soft. He's said to me, "well lets just do it without the condom" but I've told him absolutely not. Oh well, we tried...guess my anal virginity can be preserved now too, lol. But I may seriously have to look into buying one of those Aneros toys to satisfy my anal desires. I've still yet to feel what an anal orgasm is like...
