Pretending to be straight

Gosh, I did it for all of high school and some after that. No offense to any heterosexual folks, but the predictability of my straight friends made it so easy for me. Like some other have said it got redundant and I had to stop.

 

I went to a strip club for a friend's bachelor's party.
Tops girls serving drink and strippers on the poles, my little warrior was asleep the whole night, but I kept says: "oh she's hot, yeah she's hot."

I roll my eyes at myself when I think back this. :rolle:

 

Pretended to be straight for years and seemed to get by... I only now make the odd comment about my sexuality around my mates that I have actually told.

 

pretending to be fully straight til i'm out of high school, then probably gonna be a raging gay sexual monster.

 

I can never bring myself to act interested in girls... even though they do interest me to some small extent. I just act, naturally, uninterested and dont try to hide it.

I'll be honest, I'm not the kind of person who notices strangers around him - especially when I'm with friends. So, I do check out guys every now and again but this mostly happens when I'm alone.

 

I had it pretty easy as far as denying interest in guys. The religious beliefs of the church I attended had a policy of no dating for it's youth leaders, on the grounds that an earthly relationship would distract from the heavenly relationship with God. So all I had to do was say "I'm not interested in any relationship right now," and the matter was settled.

When it comes to other things though, I did deliberately avoid certain types of music and certain actions (singing female parts in non-religious music as an example) in order to not be identified as gay. Heck, I avoided Glee for a while even though I was aching to see it because of Kurt and the fact that it's a musical!

Apparently it worked, cause only one person figured it out, and he only knew because I was talking about how I lost my faith and at one point I said, "There's something else which helped me focus my logic which eventually ended my faith, but I'm not ready to talk about it." He guessed (internally) correctly within a minute (so he tells me) and just waited for me to tell him a few months later.

 

I pretend to be straight every day. My friends and parents are always asking me about boys, and I haven't been interested in a boy for so long. I'm so much more gay than straight, I still like guys, but just not the types most girls are into - so I can't even join in conversation. I just sit there.

 

I kinda dug myself pretty deep in high school by telling people that I know I can seem gay sometimes, but I swear I'm straight and I can prove it because I have big crushes on Rachel McAdams and Amy Adams (which actually is true; those are my straight crushes) and look how nice it is that not all straight people are the same! And the first few months of college, before I came out, my friends played this game where we had to name an olds celebrity we think is attractive. So the girls alsaud George Clooney and Harrison Ford and the guys all said Helen Mirren and Meryl Stereo and I reeeaaally wanted to say Pierce Brosnan or something, but instead I kinda stuttered and ended up with Sigourney Weaver. Now I'm out and I wish they would play games like that again, but I think The guys don't really know how to talk about that kind of thing with me...

 

I had a good friend by my house (who my best girl friends suspect is gay because he wants to be a hairdresser bad reason) and he kept saying that J-Lo was so so so hot. I think she's definitely got good looks, but not sexually. I wonder if he was faking it? I don't think so

Anyway, I fake a crush on Emma Watson when I am with my friends. She has a very pretty face, though her hair is so ugly when it is short now. DUH. I have to say that she's hot and everything.

 

I try not to pretend, but on the other hand, I don't like just shouting out just anywhere that I'm a lesbian.

Like recently in my Spanish class, we had to do an exercise in class to share to describe yourself and to describe your ideal girlfriend or boyfriend.

I experienced a lot of anxiety over this. I didn't want to outright lie about my orientation as a matter of principle and even though it's probably obvious to a lot of people that I am not straight just by looking at me, I didn't want to start the part of my ideal person by saying "Mi novia ideal." So I just went with "Mi persona ideal" and used gender neutral adjectives to describe this person "intelligente, interesante." etc.

However another girl who sort of tips my gaydar (sporty and if she was not straight, it would be no surprise to me) went with an ideal car or dog, following the example of an older woman (who I quite like) who chose to write about her ideal dog since, in her words, she wasn't interested in finding an ideal "boyfriend or girlfriend" and I had to smile.

I probably wouldn't be so self-conscious if it wasn't because I don't want to run the risk of making things between the older woman I sit next to and I awkward since we get along well otherwise and because of one girl in the class who I can tell is straight but with potential bi-curious leanings and we have made some awkward eye contact at times and her presence in the class makes me feel very...uncomfortable.

I mean, I'm not attracted to her and don't think she is at all attracted to me, but it's something about thinking she thinks that I am attracted when I am not leading me to make efforts to avoid all eye contact with her which brings out the "don't think about elephants" syndrome which makes it worse with my discomfort and I freaking hate it. In short, the tension I feel and I don't think it's merely me or unnoticed by her makes me really, really not want to just blurt out something which confirms I am a lesbian or at least not straight (as far as she would know) even though anyone with a gaydar working should know that I by default send off "I'm gay!" signals because that's just how I am.

/long-winded ramble

 

Been acting straight around the rentals for the past five years until March when I finally came out again. Though I never like fully hid myself, except when Mom would talk about me having a family and I'd perhaps say "when I have kids and a wife" because the last time I had told Mom she flipped. She's better now...

 

Unfortunately, this phenomenon pertains to me :/

I've always pretended to be straight, i.e. when people make comments about getting a girlfriend, marrying a girl in the future, or other similar things, I smile and sometimes nod, as if I completely agree, when all I'll ever be able to think of is to be with a guy

It's just how society is where I live, I guess, but it's disappointing sometimes. I feel like I'm hiding part of myself when I shouldn't. It's rather unhealthy and each time something like that happens, I die a little inside..

 

thinking about this is weird. through all of my life up until i started college i pretended to be straight. I always kinda figured i liked guys but i never said anything cuz i would think it would go away. aand obviously it didnt. I was so good at hiding it up until my senior year of high school. comments would slip and i would unconsciously say things that made me sound gay. But no one suspected. except 2 of my friends just cuz they said the advice i would give them wasnt for a guy to say..lol.. also teenage guys like playing gay for some reason and i was the only one uncomfortable when that happened. weird..lol. but yea it was no problem saying i was straight. however when i told most of my friends it felt more fake and weird to act like it. Its kinda hard now to say im straight and checking out girls. Everything i did before to pretend being straight i dont do now. Being gay feels right now. Like i shouldnt be anyone else. And now that i accepted myself im more confident and "tougher" i guess. like i dont care wat people say or think about me anymore. and if ppl do insult me i actually talk back and defend myself. before i was the pushover. and not anymore.. which is good. Acting straight was actually kinda tiring. mentally that is. lol weird

 

All through high school I knew i was not straight as i could never find anything to connect with girls, i never had a relationship with girls either. I only had a few girls as friends. There were a couple of gay guys in school, but they were of the female types if you know what i mean. I could never associate with any of them, it just did not feel right and they pissed the living hell out of me. None of my friends in school ever knew that i was gay. I did not even know this myself. I thought then i was bi, but i never told any one. I did have a few gayish experiences (touching mostly) with two guys at school but we pretty much kept it a higly classified secret.

After i left school i moved to the big city (Here in Nam the big city is the size of an average town in other countries) but it was 400km away from my small hometown where i grew up. I met some friends but i never said anything about me being bi or what ever. During the first two or three years i struggled with the decision weather i was gay or bi. I figured i could not be bi as i never had a relationship with girls and i was never attracted to them either. All the gay people i have met were the girly type but then i figured that there are different kinds of being gay. The girly type which is the most obvious and then there are gays that is not girly but realy manly, the only thing that made them gay was that instead of having girlfriends they had boy friends. I knew then that i am that kind of gay.

I smoke weed, and most of the friends i made in the city also smoked weed. Some did other drugs but i just pointedly refused. But one day, me and my best friend had some xtcy and we were alone inhis room. we both got horney and i told him i am bi (i was scared then what he might think of me if i told him i was gay). That night was a great night for me, it was the first time that i took it further from just touching and playing, but not further than a bj.
A few years after i met this guy of my life, i was truthfull to him and told him i was gay. Today i am happily married to him and i think we are a great couple. I sometimes tell new friends that i am gay, but i do make a point of asking new people i meet whether it is ok or not for me to crack some gay jokes or say anything gayish and just censor my speach acordingly. Usualy if my hubby is not with me when i meet a new friend they would assume i am straight unless i tell them that i'm not. I do not know whether this should go under this thread or not but it may help someone.

 

Up until I was roughly 23 I assumed I was straight since I didn't understand what it really means to be gay. I've been thinking about this lately and I recall doing some things in college to seem more "manly" or tough. At the time I didn't think of it as putting up a straight front, but I'm pretty sure that was an underlying reason for it even if I didn't fully understand that then. My understanding of gay was just an insult meaning fem or wimpy and drag queens. I think I was always trying to prove myself as a man to my dad and others around me. I didn't have a gf which would have been a marker of "manliness" so I did other things to put up that "real man" image. :eusa_doh:

 

I've been pretending for four years and counting. I don't see myself coming out to anyone so I guess I'll be pretending for a few more years. Besides I'm confused at the moment, I want to make sure I know what my sexuality is before coming out.
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Is there really such a thing as normal?

 

I always act straight when im with my cousins because they seem to be kind of homophobic. They say all these sterotypical jokes about gay people and say fag "A LOT".

 

I've been pretending to be straight from the moment I knew I was gay, but as for straight acting, I do easily since I seem to act straight in general anyway. It's easy.

 

My guess is that your cousins are around 13-14 years old. It seems to be the norm for that type of age group.