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Semi Formal Confusion

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dudethere, Feb 26, 2011.

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  1. TyRawr

    TyRawr
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    You might have been sending him mixed signals. Maybe he is already out to his girlfriends, thats how those things typically happen. Girls first.

    But what I mean, is that you may have disturbed him by acting so openly promiscuous. He was obviously uncomfortable when you all were being physical. I wouldnt be blunt with him so suddenly, he seems hurt. Try and make a connection with him emotionally before asking him if he is into guys, and if he wants to be with you. Remember that friends make the best lovers.
     
    #21 TyRawr, Feb 28, 2011
  2. dudethere

    dudethere
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    Hey everyone! Thanks for all the feedback, but this life of mine is turning more and more into a soap opera each day!

    Alright so the guy that I danced with originally told me he has feelings for me. I wasn't sure how to react, my initial response was to turn him down and tell him that the feelings I had for my crush were just too strong. And I wouldn't feel right being with him while I still had these unresolved feelings. However I spent all of yesterday arguing with myself between what I should do.

    I had made a choice to go on a date with the first guy some point this week. I thought I made the right choice because I can see something happening for sure and would no longer have to worry and question.

    However I still feel really uncertain, I'm worried I am settling and ignoring my real feelings. That said I have determined that if I am to make any progress with either I need to know how my crush feels. If he has feelings I know I can pre-sue them without a doubt and if he doesn't than I can start to move on and focus on the other guy.

    I'm considering send this message: Hey there. So I know I have been kind of a pain in the neck for the past little while but I just have one last thing I really need to talk to you about.

    You told me I could ask you anything without hesitation, but there has been one thing I have wanted to ask for so long but just haven't been able to.

    And instead of writing some big long message and stall even more I am just going to out right say it. Alex, I like you.

    You probably already knew that but I had to tell you and ask if maybe these feelings are mutual. I'm not saying that if they are we have to act on them or anything I just wanted to know. If they aren't, that is totally understandable, I can't expect everyone I like to like me back.

    The point is, I am a big boy and what ever you have to say after reading this please just say it without hesitation.
     
    #22 dudethere, Mar 1, 2011
  3. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    I think it's a good idea to figure out whether your crush is interested before moving on. You don't want to really start something with your other friend and then find out your crush is interested--that could get really messy.

    I don't think you need to apologize for writing to him though. If you haven't sent it already, I'd cut the line about you being a pain in the neck. But it's not a big deal.

    Otherwise, I think what you have is fine. I usually recommend just asking someone out, rather than making a big confession of your feelings, but I think in your situation it probably is the most effective thing.

    Let us no how it goes!
     
    #23 Ianthe, Mar 1, 2011
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