Hi! There's this guy at school that i saw at the beginning of school year. Since then i always see him in cafeteria or hallways of my school, i even went to some competition yesterday with a group of students including him. First i thought it was another straight boy and didnt care too much but then i realized that he was checking me out when i was around,i mean i went to his class today and he looked at me all that time i was talking to other people. I mean it cant be a straight i-wanna-be-friends ceremony, right? Cuz imao he's really cute and i would totally come out for him!...The problem is..I dont know what to do!!! Should I go find him and say hi what's up? or stay away 'til he gives me the sign??? He's usually in his class, should i get in my super-social mood and visit his class everyday 'cuz as a matter of fact he's kinda shy about that. I really need some advice guys, thanks:smilewave
what a nice story ^^ Wait a second... You are still waiting for THE sign? Hasn't he already shown it? taking reference to what you said, I would say that you two are up for it, so go for it. what you should do is trying to get him to be alone with you anywhere (e.g. in your school) and then simply talk about normal things. if there is more behind it, more will become of your talk you see?? greeets
Go for it Don't wait, you'll regret wasting time if it doesn't work... so yea, just socialize with him
Bring up the competition you both were at to get the conversation rolling. If possible ask him out to eat somewhere if you feel comfortable. Be sure to watch his responses, but don't completely overanalyze them. To scope out the situation a bit more just to be sure, I would try and visit his class some more.
Especially if he is shy, you should go and talk to him. Strike up conversation, about whatever. Then, you can just be like, "Hey, you seem cool, lets hang out." People are not generally offended when someone tries to make friends with them. At some point, you will need to come out to him. You should probably do this privately, so that you can at that point ask him a general question about whether he could ever be interested in a guy (I know you saw him checking you out, but it's still a good idea to ask). It's best to phrase it that way, rather than asking him if he's gay, because it doesn't require him to commit to an identity, and you don't know if he's ready to do that. I think you should ask him, rather than just seeing if he volunteers the information after you do, though, because you said he's shy. I'm shy, and I know that I often need to be asked a direct question before I will volunteer information about myself. It's not necessarily true that a gay person will come out to you once you have come out to them. People just talking about being gay or telling me that they are is often not sufficient to make me tell them about me. But if they just said, "So, what about you?" I would tell them. It's like, if they're just talking about themselves being gay, I don't feel comfortable making the conversation about me, and bringing the attention onto myself. But if the other person has already turned the attention onto me, then I can just respond. (I'm mostly the same with other subjects, too.) One of my female friends, who is also very shy, has dated a girl before. But she didn't volunteer this information right away after I had come out to her. She actually never volunteered it at all, really. A while after I had come out to her, I was spending the night at her house. I share a bed with her when I stay there, but we are just friends. It was late, and we had the lights out, and were just chatting before going to sleep. I was complaining that I don't feel comfortable going to the lesbian bar by myself. Her: We can go to the [Lesbian Bar]. It's a nice place. Me: You've been there? Her: Yeah. **pause** Me: What were you doing at the [Lesbian Bar]? Her: I went there with my girlfriend. Me: :eek: What!? When was this? (We both start laughing.) See, even though she wanted to tell me about it, and knew that I would not only be fine with it, but glad about it, she still couldn't do it without direct prompting. Even "You've been [to the lesbian bar]?" wasn't good enough. It had to be, "What were you doing at the [Lesbian Bar]?" I'm not a casual friend of hers, either: we had been good friends for about 15 years at that point, which is the main reason I was so surprised. I mean, we had been friends basically since we were old enough to date, and I hadn't known about any girlfriend. (I was much less surprised that she would date a girl than that she had.) Anyway, I know there's kind of a taboo about it, but I think it's okay to ask someone in a private conversation. Also, if a shy person is interested in you, that might make them even less likely to say something. After he confirms a potential interest in same-sex relations, you can then make overtures. Do not wait for him to do it, and don't assume that he'll just understand that you're interested. It would probably be best to just blatantly ask him out at that point. Make sure to phrase everything as a direct question that requires a response (otherwise you might not really get one). So, not "I thought it would be cool if we went out sometime." Instead, it should be, "Would you go out with me sometime?" And that should be followed up with when.
Whoa, thank you for the advice. But he's not a shy person in general,i think he just doesn't know what to do either, like me.. And i get a little nervous when i'm talking to guys,especially the good looking ones (that doesn't happen with girls?) so i guess that's the reason i haven't met him yet..
dont waste time, who knows who might snag him up in the mean time.... start a casual conversation with him while around friends and introduce yourself, if the conversation is good you can always say "your pretty cool we should hang out more often" and see what happens... but life is short you should take every opportunity that presents itself as long as those opportunities arent illegal or deadly lol
I don't get much sense that he's gay other than "he's looking at me". But the only person who seems to notice this is you...which means you're noticing it when YOU're looking at HIM. In short, you're looking at him at least as much as he's looking at you. So he might not be thinking "Wow, there's that cute guy again". He might be thinking "Why is this guy always looking at me?" Now, that doesn't mean this guy is necessarily NOT gay and/or interested. It just means I wouldn't put too much stock in "he looks at me a lot". So go find out. Go start talking to him. But as you would anybody else. Start befriending him. If he's gay and interested, you'll start seeing better signs. Lex
That's why I usually keep myself away from him, i've had a similar experience before and i just screwed up with my life,word...:tears::smilewave
Well, that doesn't mean "don't make a move". It just means make sure your move is a smart one. Don't approach him in a "he's obviously gay, so let's start putting the moves on him" way. Approach him in a "he seems interesting, and he might be gay-and-interested, so let's see what happens". Chances are decent that he's not GAI, but if you go in with the attitude that "I'll get to know him, and we'll see", that'll simply be somewhat of a disappointment, not a horribly embarrassing gaffe. Lex