Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but now you have to live with me forever with no chance of getting out >:*D

I wish I had a better phone.

 

Granted. But it weighs 100 pounds.

I wish Florida had mountains as high as the Swiss Alps.

 

Granted. The mountains erupt in the middle of towns, killing millions of people.

I wish that the next poster wouldn't corrupt my wish.

 

Granted. But everyone else who posts later does.

I wish I had my own show on the Food Network.

 

Granted, but you can't eat anything you cook.

I wish I could fly

 

Granted, but you have to fly with wax wings.

I wish I died an was resurrected not as a zombie.

 

Granted! Instead, you are reincarnated as an earthworm.

I wish I lived in a luxury apartment on the 75th floor of a building in New York.

 

Granted but your neighbors are really loud and the walls are thin.

I wish that I could cook more than cereal without burning it or making the food explode.

 

Granted, but you are allergic to the food you cook.

I wish I was attractive.

 

Granted. But only to Tibetan Yaks.

I wish I was hiking in a canyon in Utah, along a river.

 

Granted. All of a sudden, it's high tide. And BOY, do they mean high. Sadly, you don't realize this until the water goes way over your head. And you can't swim to the surface because of all the stuff you're carrying on your back.

I wish I could get some sleep

 

Granted. You are Aurora.

I wish I didn't have to go to church today...

 

Granted, an eternal one.

I wish I was romantic.

 

Granted, but you're so loving that your heart explodes from too much love.

I wish I was in Florida...

 

Granted, but due to global warming, it is now underwater.

I wish the whole USA was one giant version of Disneyland.

 

Granted, all the fairy tales, end in straight marriage.

I wish I was intelligent.

 

(Hey, wait a min-blublublublub)

Granted, but your brain expands to the size of a a coffee table and you can no longer support it.

I wish Florida wasn't so god damn humid.

 

Granted, you're now humid.

I wish was a puppy.

 

Granted, but you accidentally got hit by a truck.

I wish I could travel the universe.

 

Granted but you only have enough oxygen to last a day.

I wish my dad would stop bugging me about getting a boyfriend to get over my 'phase'.