Oookay, looks like this evening isn't going to happen either. However, I have decided that whilst writing a letter maybe isn't going to work, an email might, that way I can be sure they both get it AND I can send them each something different - since my relationship with each of them is quite different really. Now all I need to work out is the subject for the email... "I'm gay" seems a little harsh.
Well, apart from not being able to come up with a reasonable subject line for my emails, I've at least managed to throw the first of them together. Please have a read, any advice would be, as ever, much appreciated. This one, as you might have gathered, is destined for my dad, when I send it: I'm doing a different one for my Mum.
Wow. If you were my son, I would've definitely cried and given you a hug. However I am not your parent (obviously), so I do not know how yours will react. However this message clearly came from your heart. It is a letter that is very freeing and personal, and I believe will be a good first communicator, if you will send it. I hope for the very best for you.
The one to Mum now. Thanks for the support I'm going to sleep on it, and I'll either email them in the morning, or tell them face-to-face at breakfast, then give them the letters. Writing them has helped me straighten out my thoughts, which might help there.
Before you send it I just wanted to point out that you said her instead on him in refering to your dad. I'm guessing you just changed up the one to your dad and forgot to change that. Other than that i think that they sound really good and are from the heart. Good luck!
Indeed I did, thanks; I'll proof read them again anyway. I'm seriously tempted now to change them appropriately, and hand them both to them at breakfast, so that I know they get them at the same time.
Thanks everyone. I guess this would be better put in the Coming Out Stories section, but it doesn't really make for much of a story. I didn't do it by email, and I didn't do it at breakfast either. I eventually got round to it about an hour ago, (well) after dinner, and handed them each a printed copy of what was going in the email, mildly edited to work that way. I handed it to them, they read it, and then basically said nothing... the whole situation was a bit awkward. The upshot of it is my mum says she's known for a while, my dad says it was a surprise. My mum is, as I expected her to, clearly worrying that I'll get AIDS or beaten up in the street, though she claims she'd have worried about that anyway. My dad is a bit indifferent, again, sort of as I expected. While I don't see them going out and buying a rainbow flag for me, I think things are okay. It was very awkward though: I have never discussed anything like this before, and my father clearly didn't really know how to react to me talking about anything as private as this. To be fair, the whole business has only confirmed what I thought I knew about them. Damn though, those letters were too thorough really; since I'd explained everything in them they only had embarrassing questions like - "when did you find out", or "so you've never been attracted to females then, but you have to males". My mum's explanation of how she knew was the most embarrassing thing though, she'd managed to read into things I hadn't even been aware of :s over-read into it really, and just happened to come up with the right conclusion. I have every confidence that it will get better, but I wish everyone wasn't so awkward about it. This must be the English stiff-upper-lip they talk about...
It will get better! I am so proud of you. Life moves on, and you will still be their son. I kind of knew, based on what you have said about your parents, that the reaction would be this way. It's always an awkward subject to talk about, but you can finally be the true you in front of them. Very happy for you, and I find your courage extremely inspiring.
