I've had one girlfriend in my life, earlier this year. Lasted 6 weeks. I did everything to her "but the deed", and enjoyed it. I felt awesome. I didn't know what I wanted prior to this, and the confusion arises yet again. I'm not attracted to guys in terms of their bodies, nor am I attracted to feminine guys. But, once in a while, I get a crush on a guy. I want to be closer to them, kiss them, hold them and all that mushy stuff. I really enjoy gay guys company, my best friend in my first high school was gay. My favourite bartender is gay. I would readily meet a guy, go on a date, but I just don't know how to find other guys - I live in a tiny town, actually I live in a miniture farming villiage 10km out of the tiny town :dry: Were I to actually date a guy, my family would accept it, and so would my closer friends. It would still be a bit daunting to express this idea to them. I'm not even sure what I'm asking anymore :icon_sad: I need to go buy some cigarettes now.
It sounds to me like the orientation you've set is correct, if you are inquiring about what your possibly orientation is. It doesn't seem like you are distressed by the fact that you are sometimes attracted to men. You see, sexual orientation is more of a scale than a drop-down list. Because of this, it is hard to try to define one's sexual orientation if there are no precipitating events or situations that help define a place within that scale. Do you feel that you are definitely attracted to women?
Definitely attracted to woman in the physical sense, however, when it comes to conversation, I enjoy talking to a homosexual guy much more. I tend to have deeper conversations, as apposed to the small-talk I get from women.
Like swamp said, sexuality isn't defined as one or the other, and it can fluctuate. Just do what feels good. Sex with women, 'friends' with gay guys. Date a guy, if it works, roll with it, if not, at least you tried You said your family and friends would be supportive, so I dont really see a problem
Hi, welcome to EC! I agree with the other posters, just do what feels right. If a gay guy comes along and you guys hit it off, why not try it? Then if you decide that you don't feel anything then you can end the relationship, but if you do then maybe your bisexual. And just to add to what Swamp said, sexuality is measured on a Kinsey scale, 0 means exclusively straight, 6 means exclusively homosexual. It is not just gay/straight, black/white.
First of all, hi, and welcome to EC! (to the posting side, at least. I see you already joined up a while ago) I hope you’ll enjoy your time here. Like the others said, sexuality can be rather fluid and varied. Maybe you’re more attracted to girls physically, and more romantically to guys. Or maybe the attraction is just different for the two. I guess that, when feeling attracted to both sexes on occasion, even if it’s not in entirely the same way, that counts as some variety of bisexual. Labels are only useful if they help you though. And if they don’t, who cares? Just roll with it and let your feelings decide who you’re attracted to, and not some defenition you picked. Of course, finding girls who are interested in guys is a lot easier than finding guys to go on a date with. Especially if you live in a really tiny village, then you’re likely to be the only one who even entertains the notion. If you want to meet guys to date, there are a couple of things you could do, though. First and foremost, if you’re not out, it’s hard to do same-sex dating. If people don’t know you’re on the market, they won’t ever make a move. I’m not saying you need to blast the closet and shout your non-straightness to all the world to see. But it doesn’t hurt to let some good friends in on it. This gay best friend and this gay bartender come to mind as first choices. They’re sure to be understanding, they can help you figure out what you really want, and they probably know where the local gay people hang out. Obviously, there’s the option of moving to a bigger place. The bigger the city, the more you increase the odds of meeting like-minded people. Also, other GLBT people had the same idea, so they’re overrepresented in cities. This would, of course, entail finding a job and a place to live there, get a new life set up etc. But it might be worth it! And finally, whatever you do, talking about it helps. Be it to friends, or to people online, like here on EC. Writing about your feelings and what you want, helps to clarify thoughts. So hang around, read a few stories, and see if anything resonates. I’m sure that will help a lot as well.
Yeah, as others have pointed out, if the dating scene isn't there, you might want to consider going somewhere where it's better. Or, if you like women enough, keep the guy-snuggling thing just a masturbatory fantasy, and keep dating the goils. Lex
Wow, thanks for the responses. I feel more at ease now. I went to the pub after starting this topic, hoping to talk to the bartender, but the other one was there. There's actually a guy in my miniture villiage, whom I went to school with. As far as I know he is gay, I messaged him on facebook and asked if he wanted to catch up at the local pub - I see him there sometimes. If we meet, I'll just keep it casual, see where the conversation leads. I'm not going to try anything rash, just meet him as a friend. It's a pity, this place has loads of lesbians of different ages, but when it comes to gay guys, they're all over 40. Not for me thanks, despite one them recently trying to feel me up. That did disgust me... he was really gross. I'm excited in a way, I want this to be a positive experience - as it should. I am aware there probably will be some rough times along the way.
Hehe xD Well remember it could be that all the younger gay guys are just not out to anyone. It's so impossible to tell who's gay, so you never know I guess. But yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Maybe the guy will be interested in you (hopefully he's not interested in someone else!) xD But most of all, enjoy yourself! Don't expect anything and just have a good time!!!
God, while you're coming at this very confused and just willing to try something out, I wish I had had this experience. It's so fresh and unexplored. Just be chill, and have fun and get to know guys. You'll know more about what you want when you get to know a few guys pretty well, I think. But good for you for not denying that the feeling is there! :eusa_clap
I can't help but quote this, and bold the important part. After accepting that same-sex dating might be something you want to try, it's terribly tempting to just jump on the first gay guy you see, and try to date (or even go a hole lot further), because there aren't a whole lot of alternatives in sight. That's a risky proposition, though, because it is possible that, apart from feeling attracted to guys, you might not have all that much in common. So do take things slowly, and if this doesn't seem to go anywhere, don't try to force anything!
recognising your sexuality after so many years of thinking your straight and hey i enjoy getting off with women...then you feel things for guys it can be so confusing so im sympathetic with you so much as i came from that too. its weird..when i started to ' awaken ' it came on in stages first i couldn't stand fem guys and the idea of kissing a guy or being romantic was NOOOOOOO..major denial ... but then after a while the feelings would kind of sneak up and you'd suddenly find yourself thinking of things without realising it and youd be like OH NO NO! ..but eventually you just cant fight how you feel.. its great you've made such progress with accepting yourself in such a short time ... i think look up local lgbt support groups in your area and see if they have meetings... and dont worry people wont judge you there as everyone's curious at 1 point or another a lot of people once they are 100% sure of their sexuality still have some doubts at one point or another. but all ill say is chill in this place get to know people and great to have you
also i hope you to can meet up. sure you can gradually rebuild your relationship and maybe start to take it further if you like each other...but its also very important to have a someone you can go to for a chat with. (*hug*)
