Funny responses you got when you came out

I talked to my sister to which i came out recently about changing the way i look at the moment and told her that i want to look more feminine.
She responded with : well i'll take you shopping some time and do you want to learn how to paint your nails?

We laughed a lot that day and she really forgot that i allready know how to paint my nails because i had a period of darkness in my life and at that time i wore black nail-polish all the time

 

Your sister sounds so supportive penta! That is wonderful!

 

Me: so you know how I've been joking about --
My BFF: Sadie I know you're a lesbian. Are you finally going to tell me?

Me: I think I'm gay.
Other friend: Yeah, I always sort of got that vibe. And then you talked about guys all the time, so I figured you were just an obliviously little shit.
Me: I am an oblivious little shit.

 

Even though she wouldn't fully grasp the concept, I decided to tell my little (7 years old) sister.

Me: I'm gay
Sister: What does that mean?
Me: It means I like boys
Sister: Oh so do I
Me: I guessed
Sister: Wait... am I gay too?!

Bless her heart (*hug*)

 

well the night before i told my friend (when i actually wanted to) we were driving around and i didnt end up telling her because i (for no reason) got really freaked out she would kick me out of her car about 30min from town. well when i told her that (by txt) she told me that she wouldnt be that big of a jerk i would have at least let you ride in the trunk back to town hahaha. that was the moment i knew absolutely nothing had changed ^_^

 

When I came out to my son, he said "Well you just confirmed what Jess (my daughter) and I thought for years." When I asked him what made him think I was gay, he said "Well, you do sing a lot, and you do like musicals..."

 

Him: "Are you gay?"
Me:"No."
Him: "Are you straight?"
Me: "No"
Him: "What the fuck are you then?"
Me: "I'm bi"
Him: "Oh ... Well ... So, are gay jokes still allowed or have you become a pussy as well?"

Him: "Wait, but I've shown you my penis."
Me: "Yeah, so. We're friends."
Him: "Oh, I see that smirk on your face, I bet that image is in your mental wank bank."

Her: "Charlie, you're gay right?"
Me: "No, I'm bi."
Her: "Same difference, you still enjoy having sexy fun times with dudes."

 

Me: I have to get something off my chest. I'm trans-gender neutral and am looking into getting a full mastectomy to deal with my dysphoria. (yes I am classy like that)
Her: So you literally want to get something off your chest. *giggling*

----------------------

Me: Mom, I'm pansexual. It means I like .....
Mom: I know what it is, because I am, too.
Me: ..... what. How did this never come up in the 24 years I've been your kid???
Mom: I really don't know.

 

Me: (worked up the courage to say it out loud) I'm Gay.
Friend: We know, you've already told us.
Me: What? When!?
Friend: A few months ago.
Me: Was I drunk?
Friend: Probably
Me: Oh. Ok. Never mind then.
___________________________________________________________________________

Me: I've never really told you properly.
Friend: So tell me now.
Me: I'm Gay.
Friend. I know.
Me: Oh
*we hug*
___________________________________________________________________________

Friend: What I'm trying to say is, do you use t*ndr or gr*ndr?
Me: Neither.
Friend: Oh.
Me. I am gay though. I just don't use gr*ndr.

 

So none of the stories i have so far are funny but the night i told my best friend (who i had prevoulsy told about being trans and has been really supportive) that I really don't care about who i date as longs as they love me (although i still lean towards girls, if a cute enough guy asked me out I definitely would consider it) and she started listing male characters, in the end i only said yes to a few and she was annoyed at how picky i am, i found a bit funny.

 

Yesterday:
After a talk where I made my sexuality clear:
Friend - "... you are bi..."
Me - "There you go... I didn't tell you who it was... because my crush is a guy..."
Friend - ".................wait a minute... you aren't crushing on me right?"

No my dear friend. I'm not crushing on your ugly ass face

 

When I came out to one of my best friends:
"Your contact name now says L Fuentes."
"But I don't like guys.."
"Would you like for me to change it to Williams then?"

Then coming out to one of my other best friends:

*sends link to coming out song by Ally Hills*

"Wait...you're gay?"
"Yes, you're one of the only people that know."
"At least we won't be fighting over boyfriends..I CALL ZAC EFRON!!"

 

Coming out to a friend who I thought knew:
Him: So what program are you thinking of switching into next year? All male erotic massage?
Me: No. And that joke doesn't really bother me.
Him: It's a joke it isn't supposed to bother you.
Me: Ok then the humour is lost on me.
Him: What are you talking about?
Me: I'm bi.
Him: Oh cool.

About 30 minutes later

Me: I thought you knew I was bi.
Him: Nope I had no clue.
Me: I've been hitting on (other friend) in class with you sitting right next to us.
Him: Never noticed
Me: :dry:

 

When I told an old man who's my friend...
Him: But you should try to be a girl. Its not easy.
_______________
A girl with short skirt passed by us
Him: Is that your type?
Me: No.
Another girl passed while I busied myself and nervous someone might hear him
Him: Are you crushing on her?
Me: *want to slam my face on the keyboard but refrain* No.
*in my mind: Oh Christ grands! Stop for my sake!*

 

My flatmate who was also the first person I told

Me: Sooooo, I have something to tell you.......
F: Oh god you're not pregnant are you???
Me: *giggles nervously* it really couldn't be further from that...I'm gay
F: *looks totally shocked* WHAT??
Me: I said I'm gay...
F: *starts smiling* lesbehonest, you totally fancy me don't you?
Me: you aren't really my type
F: WHY DOES NOBODY LOVE ME! But seriously, I still love you even if you just rejected me. (jokingly, she has a lovely boyfriend!)

She knows I'm still not very comfortable with it so she purposefully makes as many gay jokes as she can without people noticing to get me used to talking about it in a casual, non-serious way which has really worked!

 

So i just came out to my sister who is six

Me: i want to be a girl

Sis: you can't you were chosen to be a boy

I am disappointed that she is so conservative but she is only six so i can forgive her but still it is funny how rigid her opinion was

 

Me: Sister, I like girls.
Sister: THIS IS MY FAULT. I ALWAYS CALLED YOU LESBIAN AS A CHILD.

Damn, that was funny. She kinda knew

 

Response1: I guessed that earlier (what the fuck?)
Response 2: It's ok (with a hug, bless her)
Response 3: You seem happier now (Aren't I)
Response 4: Wow, I'm speechless (it was the person I fell for)

 

I came out to my dad about being bi, the conversation went like this. Gerard is a stand in name
Me: Hey dad, there's stuff that needs to go from my brain into your brain!
Dad: What is it son?
Me: I like both (censored) and (censored)
Dad: As long as you keep it quiet and put up a sign when doing the nasty I don't care who you love. *reaches into his wallet and shoves a condom into my hand* Just don't date Gerard, he'll break your heart and I'll have to punch him in the face because nobody hurts my boys

 

So I wasn't actually there when my teachers were told, but in a conversation with my drama teacher about roles he kinda called me out of class and said "So obviously I'm aware that you're kinda, you know, whatever sort of thing " and I just laughed and was like "transgender? Yeah. It isn't an offensive term you know :lol: ."

I don't know if it's funny to anyone else, but at the time it was the funniest thing because he's so outward and confident, but then he sounds like he thinks every second word he says will be offensive. :roflmao: