Taking the first step...

I'm coming in a bit late to the discussion, but honestly, that letter is pretty awesome. It touches on all the points, makes clear you love them, and invites further discussion. I think I might want to steal it to send to my grandparents

While I see how "setting up the scene" might seem like a good idea, I am going to be a tad rude here and say you're stalling.
I'm pretty sure that hints seem blatant enough when you know the whole inside story, but your family doesn't know the inside story. If they aren't seeing it coming already, they will overlook it. Just before coming out, I thought I was pretty blatantly hinting. I was not even feigning interest in girls, making appreciative comments about guys, not controlling the direction I looked in in the least. But no one noticed.

Giving others the initiative never works well, because you're at their mercy. And even if they have an idea, they might not dare to ask you.

If you don't want to be off while they're getting the letter, then make sure they read it when you're in the house. Leave it on their pillow before they go to bed. Leave it on the breakfast table and make sure they get there first, before you come into the kitchen/dining room. Leave it on the table before they come home from shopping, and wait in your room. There are tons of options here.
And I'm still pretty sure that you're more courageous than you think you are. You can still just drown out your doubts (figuratively speaking, not with alcohol :icon_wink), stride in and hand the letter. Just think of how jealous you are of people who are happily out and tell yourself that this is the day you shall have that too!

You can do it!

 

Come on Man, chin up

Trust me just tell them tomorrow
the burden will be off your shoulders.

 

Titaniumcloset, I had to respond to this thread because I'm in the EXACT same situation. I told my friends a month ago (and they were really supportive but really surprised) and have since stalled telling my parents. I've tried to wait for the perfect time/situation but it hasn't happened yet. But I have to tell them before school starts in mid august.

I know exactly the sick feeling you have when thinking about telling your parents. But now I don't have it anymore, I'm actually looking forward to telling them! But this just happened a few days ago. I think something changed because I decided I was going to tell my mom first, instead of them both separately. I know my mom will be really supportive, so if I have her on my side my dad will be easy. This was actually my friend's idea, but it's made things so much easier on me.

It's amazing how in my mind I made my parents out like they were awful homophobic parents who don't love me. For weeks I couldn't stand to be around them most of the day. But ever since I calmed down about telling them, we've gotten along really well and my mom has since told me several times how much she loves me (I think she know's somethings up). And last night my parents were talking about how much they liked Brokeback Mountain haha.

So on Monday I'm going to come out to them. I won't be nervous I'll be happy. Maybe there's something you can change your setup somehow to make it so you aren't so nervous. Sounds like you are almost there! Just think about what is still making you nervous and talk about with your friends and EC and get all your doubts cleared up.

Best if luck to you, though! Get it over with and be happy!

 

I forgot to mention I hate it when my dad says stuff like this to me lately haha. It's so annoying!

Please keep us informed how it went/how it goes!

 

ok I am new at this. I have been living a life where I havve tried to identify as straight. I have a 14 year old son and was raised in a pretty strict religious homophobic family. I only have revealed mysea older friend. I have always been sexually attracted to females but tried to live as what I am expected to be. I now realize through a good therapist that I have to make some choices. This is scary though. At this point I have no supports . What do I do?I think I want to meet some people but do not know how to go about it.

 

Well, if it's any consolation, I think I can make it three; @titaniumcloset and @synchromaniac.
I first came out in April (17th April at 23:45 to be precise ) to a close friend who is gay. For about a week before that I barely left my room, just wondering, and dreading what coming out would do to me. Anyway, to cut a long story short, it all went fine (I guess I chose my first well) and I've never felt better. If I hadn't come out I suspect the stress of the situation would have led me to fail my exams; it was pretty disastrous the year before.
Since then I've been dropping hints to my family, like occupationally bringing up issues, like "Oh I see the new Icelandic Prime Minister is gay"; I don't know whether they've really registered it, or just thought I was being my normal, not terribly interesting conversationalist . Then on Saturday, me and a group of friends decided to our local pride - first time for all of us. I'd told my parents I was "meeting up with some friends" which was, to be fair true, but my sister found/worked out that I was going to Pride, and immediately told my mum. So I suspect the subtly part has all but gone! I had thought about telling them today, but I thought it might be wise to give a couple of days' gap between Pride and that. I can just imagine my mum's first thoughts being "he's clearly been influenced by that"! I confess I'm a little annoyed with my sister, who has basically delayed my plans . I've got a deadline too, a bit later than yours perhaps - I go to Uni in mid-September, and if my parents don't know I'll feel the need to be excessively cautious and probably not be able to enjoy the experience.
I've thought about the letter thing, and telling one parent before the other. My thought is almost the opposite to yours, titaniumCloset. I'm not sure I have a better relationship with either parent - if I did I guess it would be my dad - but if I felt there was I'd be extra careful to make sure they found out at the same time, to prevent it looking almost like favouritism. What really scares me about coming out is not my parents' attitudes to me, but the effect it might have on their relationship if they don't have the same opinion, which is at least plausible.

Sorry to write so much, I'm afraid I'm not a very short-winded person. Good luck with the final hurdle - I'm pretty sure I'll give it a go in the latter half of the week <fingers crossed>

 

Hello! Sorry, I failed to read everyone else's comments before replying so I may be repeating someone else.

Anyway, I'm not "out" to mother (or father, but he's a completely different story). One thing I'll say though is that in my experiences in coming out to others, sometimes it's almost as if I go into a state of almost losing consciousness; I go completely numb and the words "I'm gay" come out of my mouth, but I feel as if I didn't say a word and that whoever I told didn't hear it, hoping that I just imagined it, and it'll all be forgotten.

As for my mother, the way I see it is that homosexuality is 100% completely irrelevant to the type of person you are. To me, telling my mom that I'm gay would be about as relevant as saying "Hey mom, I'm left-handed." Though I understand that socially speaking, these are two very different scenarios, but my goal is to show everyone that they're really not different scenarios and should be treated the same, though this will take more time than I think I will be alive. (Also remember that left-handed people were once looked at as evil and were often killed for their "demonic nature").

Hope this helped!

 

Good Luck!! Can't wait hear how it went : )

 

Good luck; let me know how it goes. I'm thinking Thursday personally, but don't hold me to it just yet

 

Somehow in all of that I managed not to get to my point, which was that I'd initially felt it was a good idea to let them ask me, but when it came to a situation where I thought they might I went into full panic attack mode. It might just be because I'm something of a control-freak (I hope that's harsh ) but I want to be in control of when and how I tell them. I guess it's a lot of that which stops me telling them by letter too.

 

Great luck to you.

Lots of great mojo coming from ec ...

Let us know how it goes!!!

 

Hope it's all going / gone well!

 

First off:

(*hug*)

Secondly, perhaps you could find some information or examples that portray gays living normal lives. There are books that talk about gay parenting based on actual gay parents that the author has talked to...how much more "normal" (besides the gay part) can you get than that?

I am so sorry that you have had such a terrible 24 hours, but hopefully things will get better . Until then, just remember to be proud of who you are and the life you live.