Okay - so I've started the long process of coming out in April, I believe with my best friend, my cousin, my mom, a few people at work, a friend of my mom and then a girl that I used to date (well kind of). I was doing really well and feeling really good about myself and then I told the girl I kind of tried to date or something. Then it all went to hell. She freaked out, threw the Bible at me, told me to have fun with HIV while I burned in hell. I panicked and went back into my shell. Ever since then, I've tried to get over that, but knowing that people in my own family are likely to react that way makes me want to say the hell with it, and just be single forever, and not come out any further. I know I can't do that if I ever want to be happy, so I'm trying to push forward. I'm trying to become who I feel I really am. I am a clever, special, romantic, compassionate, passionate, faithful, loyal, friendly, helpful, loving, Christian, nerd, bookworm, and among many other things, I am gay. Inside, I know if I truly embraced all of those things, that I would be so happy, outgoing and just able to live my life like I want to. But on the surface I have to deal with things like this - I told my mom that someday I still want kids. And she says, well then get a wife. Did she forget that I told her I was GAY!!! Do I need to be flamboyant and walk around with a Gay Pride flag and a feather boa for Pete's sake? What does it take for her to understand that I am gay. I maybe somewhat attracted to women, but I am not sexually attracted to them. Unless something just totally fucking weird happens I'm going to someday end up with a man. And when I find the guy I want to spend my life with, we will find a way to have a family. It's like she's ignoring what I told her, even though she said she doesn't have an issue with it. I feel it is things like that, that keep me from becoming the man I am supposed to become. I want to be a sexy, good looking, handsome, confident, healthy, and fit man someday. So I'm trying to lose weight. I want all these things, but I feel like current circumstances are holding me back from destiny. I know that somehow, despite everything I can and I WILL accomplish my goals and dreams, but that's the Million dollar question - How? (sorry for the length, but this is the culmination of about a month's worth of stuff I wanted to put together, so i decided to slam it into one)
I hope you feel better for writing that all down (*hug*) I'm not really sure what I can say that would help.. You have the right attitude in terms of accepting that you are gay and that it's only a small part of the bigger 'You'. You don't need to change anything about yourself at all- because then you would just be comprimising yourself to fit a stereotype. Unfortunately you are always going to encounter people who cannot handle homosexuality in general. Especially since you are Christian (me too!). Unless you really want to bang your head against a wall (like this: :bang, I'd only try to reason with them once or twice and after you've given them a little time to get used to the idea. Sometimes though, these friends are only going to bring you down... I would say your mum just hasn't gotten her head around it yet. She's still in the denial stage and since it's easier to ignore it, she'll stay there a while. But I'm sure she will come around. Stay positive and if you ever want to rant or just chat, feel free to message me p.s. I'd date ya if I lived in the States...
I do definitely feel much better after writing all that down As far as the people who won't accept me, which right now is just the one girl, I think I'll just cut them loose and see if they come around. If they do, then I'll be happy to bring them back into my life, it not, then I guess they are gone. I'm gonna wait it out and see with my mom, see where it goes. And if you lived in the States I would definitely date you, too:icon_redf
ahhhh, the old Gay vs God. We meet again I see. Look people who think gay is wrong are gonna throw everything they can at you. The good news is you can drive bus through the holes in the Bible's issues on anything. I use this to deflect the Bible thumping folk snd seems to get them every time. When someone uses the bilbe asking them where it says being gay is wrong (most can't even do that). But if they do know it is in the book of Leviticus (I may have spelled that wrong but who cares). Ask them if they read the whole book or just that part. Have you eatten shrimp? You're going to hell. Do you wear polyester? You're going to hell. Do you eat red meat? You're going to hell. Ever work on a sunday? You're going to hell. Ever had sex outside of marriage? You're going to hell. (if they are a guy) Shave your beard? You're going to hell. So, it looks like I'll have plenty of company down there. Seriously look it up its all in there. Kinda sounds ridiculous when its all laid out in front of you, huh? Ok funny part over, Look you're going to meet people who are going to tell you gay is wrong and that you're a freak and blah, blah, blah. THEY have the problem with gays they only drag God into it because they want to use the Bible as their own sword to slay people they don't agree with. You can't fix stupid, so don't let them get to you. Just put them out of your life. If you have to see them everyday don't talk to them, if they approch you then tell them what they have to say means nothing to you.
Well if you hear from the girl you tried to date again, recommend to her to watch ' the bible told me so', perhaps you can show this to your mum. Maybe your family is religious and that may be an reason they may not be accepting.
The last time I talked to that girl that I kind of tried to date while I was in denial about being gay, she told me that she would fuck me so that I would be straight. I haven't talked to her since and I won't after that conversation. Makes me so angry. I'm just gonna live my life, and if anyone else has a problem with it, then so be it, not my problem, its theirs. Like i said, i am me, among many other things I am gay. It's a part of me yes, but it isn't all of me. There's much more beneath the surface. That's what I want to get across to my family and friends. I'm not a sex addicted whore. I'm not some monster living in this small town (although some times I feel like if more people knew, that's how they'd react) Which is exactly why I'm trying to get the f*** out of here so I can really be me. All the parts, true to myself, no masks or lies. Just me.
On another, although similar note....I've been reading stories and watching videos on youtube and these people have known they were gay from the time they were 11, 12, 13, etc....why and how could I have not put it together until I was 19? At 19, I realized that doing the things I was doing, and REALIZED that I was sexually attracted to men, it had been happening for years, but I never put a word to it until 19 years old. And then it took over two years to go from denying it and burying it to accepting it.
Your very much not the only one in the boat, it's taken me even longer to get to the realisation I am gay despite being attracted to guys for as long as I can remember and i feel pretty stupid for not realising it. Try not to judge yourself on what other people have done, everyone finds there own path. Just a bit more round about way to get there sometimes.
Things will get better. Just stay true to yourself, and I think that you'll make it. Live I've said, you're a really nice guy who doesn't deserve any of these things. Try to have as much pride and confidence in yourself. You'd be surprised on how far you could go with it.
As a Christian who isn't straight, I hear things like this allllll the time. I believe in the Bible, but from what I understand, God and Jesus love us for who we are, not who we love and have sex with. Also, an abomination is something that "causes disgust" or is "not socially normal to the people of the time." Like you mentioned, there are some crazy ones. I once read the if two men were fighting over a woman, and she defended her husband and her hand hit his "junk," it must be cut off or it is an abomination. Not one place in the Bible does Jesus say anything about homosexuality, and I'm pretty sure he had to closest relationship with God, lol. I think it's a shame that Christians intimidate people in the GLBT community. If we just embraced people, regardless of orientation, it could help people get along so much better.
