I have a huge problem. I want to go to NJ pride on Sunday by myself. I am 19. I am going to meet up with some people from the internet. I am only out of the closet to one person so I will tell my parents I am hanging out with my friends. I have 2 best friends and Jen knows I am gay. We always hang out but we have been busily lately. We always know if someone is at work or in class or with family. I told Jen I want to go but I dont know how to tell Jackie. I could say I have hw but she will be like we can hang out after and pride is basically all day so I cant lie to her like that. I saw family last weekend and said because of seeing them then I wont have to for a while so I could hang out with them the next time my parents would want me to see relatives. I cant just say I am busy. I really want to go to Pride but I dont want to tell Jackie and she always knows what I am doing.
Why not tell her the truth? You can tell her "I'm on an internet group, and I'm meeting two other members of the group downtown all day." Lex
She will be freaked out by that. I dont want to worry her. She will wanna come with me. I want to do this pride thing by myself so I can figure things out without any of my friends influences.
Then I'd say tell her the whole truth. You're going to Pride. If she wants to come with you, say you'd rather go alone and see what it's all about without any of your friends around. Then ask if you can hang out the next day instead. Lex
I am scared to. I cant tell her the truth. And the thing is we are busy like everyday except this Sunday for a while. I feel like this problem is so simple yet I am scared and not ready to tell her.
Well, you talked to Jen, right? Maybe you should contact Jen again and say "I'm concerned about what to say to Jackie. I know she wants to hang out on Sunday, but I really want to go to Pride, and she doesn't know I'm bi yet." Maybe she might have some insight. Lex
I have done that. She doesnt know how Jackie will take it. I just really want to go to Pride without Jackie knowing where I am.
Then perhaps there is a way you can avoid telling her where you are while at the same time staying truthful. Perhaps by saying that "something came up, and I have stuff I need to take care of on Sunday, like all day. It's kind of personal so I really don't want to talk about it (yet)." They yet is optional if you think you may tell her someday. It's also totally normal to be afraid to be honest with people when it's something personal like your sexuality.
She wont understand and wil keep bugging me about it. She wants to make sure I am always ok. She wont understand why I am not telling her something.
Well, let's pretend we're on ESPN, and do us a little breakdown, shall we? What are your options? * Don't tell her anything. * Make something up. * Tell her a partial truth. * Tell her the complete truth. * Don't go. I think that's the exhaustive list. Of the options, I'd say the "partial truth" one - "I'm going to meet some other friends downtown" - qualifies as your best option. Not an ideal one, certainly, but it's the best of the ones on your list. She might be really concerned about your safety, and she might really feel like she needs to know what you're doing and with whom, but frankly, t'ain't so. You don't owe her an explanation. Tell her you'd love to hang out on Sunday, but you already have plans, and you can't break them. And as such, you'd love to hang out the next possible time you can. Lex
Maybe I will just make up a lie. She is going to interrogate me about who I am meeting. I am always telling Jackie everything so she will know something weird is up. I think Ill just say I have hw. I am saying for that tomorrow but its true. Summer college classes are alot and if I am going to pride and lying about doing hw then I need extra time to do hw. I know i keep coming up with excuses but I am really scared.
You don't HAVE to lie. You CAN just not tell her. Because she really doesn't have to know everything about you at all times. But I trust you know your relationship better than I do. Lex
I cant lie to her. I cant. I am going to send her this message. "I cant lie to you so I am just going to tell you. On Sunday I am going to this gay thing on the beach all day. I am on this gay message board on the internet and some people from it are going. I don't really want to say much more but I wanted you to know where I will be because I cant make up an excuse. I want to go to it alone."
