gay guys and their straight guy friends

I think that article was posted here a while ago, but it's worth rereading. In my own personal experience, my good male friends tend to be straight. Maybe it's just because of the guys I've met, but the gay guys I've met and I haven't really "clicked," if you will. They and I just saw the world from incompatible perspectives. I agree with the guy in the article who said that straight guys are just simpler.

As for losing straight friends after coming out, I think you'll find that the friends you keep will be the ones worth keeping, and the ones you lose will be the ones who weren't that great of friends anyways. I generally found that after I came out to my straight friends, that honesty made it easier to bond with them.

This; nothing more needs to be said.

 

^

This.

Ive just never been able to relate or connect to / carry on a conversation with straight guys, at least the ones i know. There has been one or two that when you get them 1 on 1 they are actually really down to earth and open, but get them around another straight guy and i swear they start to physically look like Donkey Kong. I dont do physical, dirty, violent, dangerous or illegal things. That tends to be all that the guys i know do. Im a pansy shit, and i know it, and i frankly dont care

That said - I often get invited to hang out and do stuff with my straight guy friends/acquiescences. More often than not its watching hockey and i tend to pass on that, but we watch lots of movies together. And this is all while im 100% out to them. They dont reject me or treat me like the creepy gay guy. Its just we are different people, and we all respect that.

 

I think the article could relate to women and lesbians and their crushes on straight women as well (biological sex differences aside between this and the article).

I've told a couple friends that I think they're totally attractive but "of course you're not gay so I would never compromise our friendship".

I do get along better with guys, but in my case, guys almost always try to flirt with me... Blah. lol But at the moment, I have more female friends, I just learn to tell myself that they are unavailable if I start crushing on them.

 

Hmmm, while I understand the article, it really doesn't apply to me. Maybe that's because I'm bisexual, I don't know. But all of my guy friends (IRL) are straight. Especially my best friend. My LGBT friends in real life are in a miniscule minority actually, most of the ones I know are LGBT aren't too appealing to me for friendship, but obviously there are some that I'm friends with. I've never had a problem with "falling" for any straight guy friends before (I HAVE had a problem with the girls though, as some of you know xD), and I don't think I will? My straight dude friends are awesome, and they wouldn't really ever be able to get passed that at all, because... well for one, he's straight, and a friend is a friend? I dunno. It's silly to me. xD

 

I've told most of my straight friends, but I haven't told my best friend. I do love him, but on in a sexual way. I am worried that he might be uncomfortable when I tell him I'm gay, so I've been putting it off, in fact he is the last one on my list of people I really WANT to tell.

 

See, I have a bit of a different take on this. Most of my straight guy friends didn't react so well when they found out about my sexuality. As I've become increasingly comfortable with myself and willing to discuss my sexuality, I've found that they are increasingly uncomfortable with me. Part of this is what the article refers to, the idea that any straight man is so completely irresistable that I just won't be able to help myself, and they are freaked out by that, I suppose. What is funny, for me at least, is that I'm the same guy they've been around for the better part of the last five years - I still go hunting or take some of my guns to the shooting range on the weekends. It's the sex part that gets in the way, which is more than slightly hilarious since, if we're going there, none of them are really up to my standards anyway

 

Most of my friends are straight guys, my best friend is a straight guy. I prefer hanging out with guys. It's never weird with us, I never fall for my friends and they are all cool with me. They even ask me about guys and what I have done and stuff but I always kinda stay away from those topics, I think I am more uncomfortable talking about that stuff then they are hearing it.

 

i like this article. i tend to befriend more girls then guys ALTHOUGH i prefer befriending guys. I usually just let people talk to me, which is why i guess i usually talk to more girls. Guy friends just seem so much more laid back then girl friends, which i like.

 

hmm this doesn't seem to apply to me atall tbh.

I have far more close friends who are guys, and they know i'm gay. I have had no problem forming close bonds with them, and i never have. Maybe this is because i'm not that most stereotypical gay, and also that my friends aren't the really manly militant heterosexuals that some guys try to be

 

I don't have a problem getting along with straight guys... most of my friends are straight guys, in fact. I've only really got one close female friend, who I discuss men with, and with whom I have gone clothes shopping, but it doesn't happen very often. I find it easier to hang out with guys than with girls, although I think its just the way things have turned out, rather than any conscious choice on my part.
Of all the straight guys I know, only one reacted badly to me coming out, and we just drifted apart. None of the rest of them are bothered, and my best friend (who was already my best friend before, and certainly is now!) said simply, "Well, this doesn't change anything, you just watch different porn now."

Maybe it helps that I'm not very camp, that I don't fit the 'gay stereotype,' but I think that primarily, I'm lucky in having open-minded friends.

 

I've just realised that I think the majority of my friends are straight guys. Or at least 50/50 of them are. In fact two of three of my bestest best friends are straight guys. And they all know that I'm gay and I'm really quite open about it. I dunno. I really find it quite easy to relate to straight guys, which is odd because I'd probably put myself in the effeminate camp if I had to.

 

Interesting article.

In my experience, coming out to my straight friends didn't drive us apart. In fact, it rather made us become closer. I no longer feel obliged to contribute to any discussions on women (though I sometimes do raise an eyebrow when something makes me go "really, guys?"), and they no longer feel the need to draw me into that kind of conversations. Knowing where we all stand makes it easier to gauge each other's reactions.
Maybe me not really acting stereotypically "gay" makes it easier for them, as well.


And maybe I just hit it really lucky with the straight friends I have. None of them fit the stereotypical "straight guy" image either. We're all science (and history, and fantasy) geeks, so most of our conversations don't revolve around women to start with :icon_wink

 

Who you relate to isn't bound by who you want to sleep with and whether you're effeminate/masculine. When I was straight, or at least didn't know I was bi, I got along much better with women. When they'd talk about guys that would be fine, not because I subconsciously agreed with them, not because I just let them do what they wanted, but because they were my friends and if it was important to them, it was important to me.

 

I thought I had 3 straight best friends... turns out one is also gay, the other 2 are bi-curious, though I think the one is secretly gay, too - he just won't admit it for some reason!

I love that, as a straight-acting guy, I can get along so well with other guys. Especially with sports - it's such good common ground - and fitness! However, I find that revealing my s.o always leads to loss of that male-male bonding. It just throws things off balance everytime (for me).

I have very few straight (guy) friends who know about me and ask about my dating life (and are just "dudes" around me, which I really like), but at least I have some

I wish it wasn't such a barrier-producing issue. I hate the effiminancy of my gay friend most of the time. I really don't care about fashion (though I like to look good myself) etc. I just wanna be a boy sometimes, you know? Is that so much to ask?

 

Interesting article, though I feel it focuses too much on stereotypes. Honestly, I am completely opposite. All of my friends are straight males. I really have no close gay guy friends. In fact I've only met like one or two gay guys who I really have much in common with. In no way do I feel that my sexuality has anything to do with my relationship with friends. My sexual orientation really has nothing to do with who I am as a person, it simply describes the gender I am attracted to. No doubt i have sometimes felt lost or alone because of my lack of gay friends, but I am me, and am happe being me. I see no need to change who I am to make new friends.

 

This thread is from 2009.. I think we can let it rest in peace.

 

I have a lot of straight male friends, and I have to say I value their friendship highly. Of course I've crushed on some of them... but if you're going to admit it, you have to turn it into a compliment. Things have gone wrong before when I've told straight guys that I really like them. Guess you learn the hard way.

As for the last interviewee in the article who felt isolated from straight guys... The only way to learn to talk to them is to talk to them. Practice makes perfect . If a straight male friend can't tolerate you for who you are, he's a friend not worth keeping.