Flaming Gays

Yes.

 

I have no opinion regarding how someone acts, seeing as I'm probably one of the most eccentric people I've seen at my college of 7,500 people (I mutter to myself, I have tics like moving my hands in certain ways and sometimes my head shakes slightly when I'm thinking, I have conversations with myself, etc).

 

Gee, for a second there I thought I was on EC, a website where all are accepted and where LGBT people can be free to be who they are. I must have landed on gay-bashers.com by accident.

You should substitute the words gay or lesbian for the word flamer in many of the posts above, and you would have exactly what the homophobes are saying about us. Those who made critical posts of flamers sound as judgmental as any homophobe I have met. Are flamers hurting you? Why is it that you hate them simply because they are different than you? Do they have a right to be who they are, without others telling them how they should live their lives? Isn’t that exactly what all of us want?

 

:eusa_clap

 

Sorry, but all of these responses seem to basically say "I dont like things that are different than me"

 

The moment we become hypocrites we are just as bad as those who would deny our rights. You can't say oh it's ok to be gay then turn on someone just because they do it differently.

 

QFT. But it's not surprising to find such comments. There are many self-loathing people here.

Sure, the over-the-top effeminacy is not for me but why should I care? They are not me. And if you want to break this stereotype then come out of the closet and educate people.

 

I know a couple of straight guys that pretty much everyone pegs for being gay, and they are the most hilarious people I know. Maybe its because they are straight it seems even funnier to me. But I don't understand the dislike for flamers, I can only peg it as some others here have said about internalised homophobia. I still have it to some extent, and from reading a few post here where a lot of young people automatically labelling older gay guys as creepers, I think a lot of other people here have it as well. Its like "its ok for me to be gay, but you look icky, so its not ok for you to be"

 

i just dont care :S

as long as the flamers dont judge me i wont judge them, they can be fun to be around, the only sad thing ive noticed with them around here is teh personality beneath the flamer they are assholes... real AHHHH cos they soooooo superficial and teh tinyest thing with you they shoot down and some think their better and they are teh true gays >.> i cant stand people who act superior to others and think what they are is better or more pure than another...no matter who you are, i dont believe all flamers are liek that though some are personality some just like to do it some just believe thats how they are suppost to be, and hey its fine, all goos aslong as your happy its fine .... just dont be a prat about it .

 

I think in reality, a lot of people envy them. Just because they don't care what other people think.

 

That is a good point there are straight flamers to. I guess I could understand the internalised homophobia being part of it.

 

I kind of feel like that too, though I know I probably shouldnt, its an irrational reaction.

My fear is that when, not if, I come out that I will suddenly be cast as a camp effiminate guy, which its not a bad thing to be, but its just not me.

 

From what I've seen/noticed/experienced, those who have the biggest problem with "flamers" are gays who are in the closet, or in the process of coming out. And there's many reasons, I think. Jealousy that these people are being themselves when they feel they can't. Fear that "flaming" is a gay man's "natural state", and if they come out, that's how they'll act. Anger due to the belief that flamers are the ones causing homophobia, and if they'd just "butch up", straights would think we're wonderful.

Lex

 

Flamming men make me a little uncomfortable.

I think just because I'm the polar opposite how they act.

I don't hate them though, I mean live your life the way ya want.

 

And that's the important thing. I dont hate 'flamers' either - they just make me feel a bit uncomfortable - and I realise that is my own insecurity.

 

Pretty much. I don't care, I won't lie. I get too many comments on why I don't act like this because I should...or I don't act gay enough so I'm not doing it right...or people just assume I am like them right away.

lolz I don't envy them or am jealous of them. I'm tired of people thinking I AM them. "Well you shouldnt care what people think!" lolz it's not that easy.

I'm fucking tired of being shoved into their category. At least once a week, a comment. Flame me all you want EC. It's how I feel.

 

EXACTLY!!! :eusa_clap That's my plan.

 

Personally i dnt mind them. I think sumtimes they can be a bit TOO much, which causes people to think that all gay people r like that which is soooo not true. I also wud never date them bcus they r too feminine. But yeah, i mean people can act however they wish, and if they're happy doing so then so b it. I see a lot of them around here, and they can b pretty cool!

 

It's not that I think the overly flamboyant ones should change or tone it down or anything; I just find the personality type grating, for the same reasons I might dislike any other personality. There's nothing really homophobic about it. It just sounds that way because of the terminology. Perhaps we should come up with better ways to describe them?