So hey its been an interesting day, i actually forgot it was fathers day, which i didnt see why it was that important anyway given as its never been that important before. This afternoon i got a txt message and it was from my father, abusing me for not saying happy fathers day to him, he then sent 2 more messages saying i just want him money and i ignore him and then at 7:50pm tonight he messaged me telling me to '' fuck off and live with your life with your drop kick of a mother'' All my life he has caused me nothing but trouble and hurt my sister and treated my mother like shit. As of 7;50pm on the 6th of september 2009 my father to me is dead What an awesome thing to happen 12 days before my 21st. To me i have never or will ever have a father
I am really sorry Ryan (*hug*) I know your father used to be abusive and maybe you will be better without him around for the time being, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
I was there a few years ago. It took me some time to build up a relationship with my father, and even now it's not the best relationship ever... still, we can spend a dinner without fighting. My story is simple and recursive. First he moved to a city 1500 km away, then when my mom, brother and moved to that city, he moved to another continent. Then when my mom got a scholarship and my brother and I went to live with my father (he used to leave us with his new wife) he sent me to stay with my mother at her scholarship (by my request apparently). Then we got back to B.A. and my brother came here on vacation and my father disappeared for about three years. Then he turned up in Paraguay again (we live in Argentina), then he told me and my brother that he had moved but he couldn't tell us where (truth was he hadn't moved at all) It wasn't until a few years later that we finally knew where he was. Then, my brother and I moved in with him and four years later I moved out and started living with a friend and my brother moved out with a girlfriend. I have no doubt that his not being there, his being absent has had some influence in my sexuality, and his not accepting it has driven an even larger wedge between us, but that is not the issue. Some time ago, I was still living in Paraguay, my brother had borrowed my father's car and he asked me to take him to the airport and then give the car back to my dad. So I took him to the airport but it was like 10PM and buses are not really safe in paraguay... specially where my father lives. So I called him and told him that I could bring the car but I needed him to take me back home. He said he couldn't and that he'd come and pick up the car the next day. So I went out with a guy that night, came back home with him, etc... and at noon, we were having lunch, my father called and said he was downstairs, that he wanted me to give him the keys. So I put on some clothes, took the keys and went downstairs. He was there in his wife's car, she was driving, he got down, didn't even look at me in the eye and took the keys. I took out some books I had left in the car and went upstairs to finish my lunch. Later that day, he sent me an SMS message telling me that if I didn't start treating his wife a little better he'd have to do something drastic. I replied that if he kept letting her hysteria affect me, it would be best if we cut the relationship right there and then. We didn't speak for about a year... I was so mad at him... I moved to Buenos Aires, started therapy and looking for self awareness... and finally came to a point in my life where it's not him I'm mad at... He's old, powerless and actually I pity him a little... It's what he had left in me I was mad at.... but that was good, because I have power over myself. So, I'm working on my internal father, the one that keeps nagging me... In truth, the real flesh and bone one has no power over me, and I can spend some time with him and it doesn't affect me. The internal idealized version of him... it's another story but It's something I can work with... and that's what therapy is for... Anyway, I guess this is my twisted way of saying I feel your pain, I know what you are going through and it will eventually get better. And that no matter what happens with your father, you should deal with what he has left inside of you... for it will stay with you your whole life. hth Alan.- [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLU1NGPWxUw&feature=channel_page[/YOUTUBE]
I am sorry that your dad did this to you. Its not right at all. Did you explain to him that you forgot about Fathers Day? (*hug*)
