How do I escape depression caused by metaphysical studies of the cruelty of human nature and loss of utopia Human nature has me at pessimistic catatonic breaking point, I just feel like I can't move. I've been drive to despair by pessimism. I don't really have many friends. But I feel insulted that what for me is a metaphysical question can just be dismissed as rationalization. I hate that Freudian loop. I will only concede this. If I was satisfied hedonistically, I might take the meaningless and cruelness of life as a comedy, while in my situation I take it as a tragedy. Comes mostly from Schopenhauer. I just see the radically anti-egalitarian nature of the world as it is as just driven by a sexual sadism in all humanity that needs to dominate and degrade and inflict pain. At one time I had the youthful energy to struggle mightily against such forces to fight against the black ocean. But now I'm just exhausted and have lost all real hope of victory. I just hate the glib answer of human nature people give to any chance of building a better world. The easy dismissals of utopia. Everything they taught us in childhood about good guys and bad guys was a lie. I was the only fool who believed it. So just getting up in the morning and doing daily routine makes me feel like I'm supporting the world that I hate to the very fiber of my being.
It can be difficult at times, but in your case, what I believe is causing the most trouble is the pessimism itself. Although, admittedly, humans aren't the most easy to deal with, or their actions even the most easy to fathom, you must realize that there is light, optimism, and hope within most human beings. There seems to be a falling out of sorts for a collective, universal, type of rejuvenation or progression towards utopia, but this same falling out does not apply on the individual level. You must remember that everything you do, everything you say, your actions, words, beliefs, sins, they all have an effect on not the collective entirety of the human race, but on certain individuals. It is individuals that have often shaped history, and you shouldn't lost hope, as the degradation of yourself may cause the destruction of another. I feel as though I can fight against the black sea, because I am not alone. However, it is my actions that have the greatest effect on my own life. There is much, much, much more than good or bad, but on a fundamental basic level, it boils down to those who want to create, and those who want to destroy. What you must choose now is whether you will create, destroy, do both, and in any case, what? Most importantly. . .you're not alone in this struggle.
What the world is, ultimately becomes that of our own perception. I'm sure if we were to look up, or search for our own little 'utopia' we would find it. Looking for that spark of light that exists in everything is an unusual talent but we can all master this if we constantly do it. Things aren't completely Black & White as they were in our childhood, but now we have a multitude of other colours, not just shades of grey. We must appreciate that which is before us and grasp it. If you wish to change some part of it, to create your own utopia, then do so through your own actions. Ultimately, change what you can, don't dwell on what you can't change and look to the future brighter future. This was said in the "Watchmen" movie but. . .'Every day, the future looks bleaker and darker, but the past just keeps getting brighter.' This holds some truth to it, as all sayings do. The future shouldn't look bleaker or darker, rather it should become that which you see in your past. By learning form your past, seeing what it was that makes it brighter, you can apply this same view or these lessons to your future. Life is what you make it my friend. If life gives u lemons, make lemonade. When you look at a page of a story in red ink, spouting lies, slander and hurtful words, you put on some red sunglasses and see the page blank. Then you can begin writing your own story. Good Luck friend.
I often teeter between a pessimistic view much like your own, and a completely naive optimism where I feel I can take on the world. The one idea that sticks though, is that I should try and set an example in every instance, every day of my life. People can pick up on a person who is friendly, non-confrontational, patient, kind, accepting, etc, and if they do, it can influence them to strive to be more this way. Kids especially I think look up to figures who appear happy or friendly, and make them feel good, not guilty about things (one reason why coming out is so important to me, and important for people to do in general). And even if they're raised in a shittyenvironment, when they're older they may remember the example you set. Hopefully the positive parts of being human spread when people realize how being negative and hateful just hurts us in the end... Just my cheesy and optimistic two cents, lol.
Thanks for your responses. They were good insights. Actually now I now cant say I hate the world, however it can be cruel and bitter, however despite this men have seeked happiness, and those that strived to achieve it are unhappy themselves: here is a good quote on happiness Krishnamurti: Do you think happiness is an end in itself? Or does it come as a secondary thing in living intelligently? Questioner: I think it is an end in itself because if there is happiness then whatever you do will be harmonious; then you will do things effortlessly, easily, without any friction. I am sure that whatever you do out of this happiness will be right. Krishnamurti: But is this so? Is happiness an end in itself? Virtue is not an end in itself. If it is, then it becomes a very small affair. Can you seek happiness? If you do then probably you will find an imitation of it in all sorts of distractions and indulgences. This is pleasure. What is the relationship between pleasure and happiness? Questioner. I have never asked myself. Krishnamurti: Pleasure which we pursue is mistakenly called happiness, but can you pursue happiness, as you pursue pleasure? Surely we must be very clear as to whether pleasure is happiness. Pleasure is gratification, satisfaction, indulgence, entertainment, stimulation. Most of us think pleasure is happiness, and the greatest pleasure we consider to be the greatest happiness. And is happiness the opposite of unhappiness? Are you trying to be happy because you are unhappy and dissatisfied? Has happiness got an opposite at all? Has love got an opposite? Is your question about happiness the result of being unhappy? Questioner: I am unhappy like the rest of the world and naturally I don't want to be, and that is what is driving me to seek happiness. Krishnamurti: So happiness to you is the opposite of unhappiness. If you were happy you wouldn't seek it. So what is important is not happiness but whether unhappiness can end. That is the real problem, isn't it? You are asking about happiness because you are unhappy and you ask this question without finding out whether happiness is the opposite of unhappiness. from: http://www.freeweb.hu/tchl/the_urgency_of_change/1970-00-00_the_urgency_of_change_'happiness'.html source:
>>>despite this men have seeked happiness, and those that strived to achieve it are unhappy themselves. People who seek to dissect, analyze, and categorize happiness tend to find it elusive. Just as the guy who attempts to approach an orgasm via clinical means ("first the male member must be made erect through the increase of blood flow to the genital area") is gonna have a much harder time getting off than the guy who lies back, fantasizes about whatever he wants, and jerks off. Happiness is where you find it. It's in a great book, a favorite song, a purring cat, a hot stack of French toast. It's in the doodle I drew, those photos I looked at yesterday, the help I gave a friend, those great conversations I had with friends and strangers yesterday, and that orgasm I gave my partner. Others may feel the need to categorize and clinicalize each of these pleasures, and may in fact feel secret delight in pointing out the very ephemeral and self-serving nature of each. If that's your bag, have at it. I'll be busy petting the cat and eating the French toast. (Hopefully, I can keep the two straight.) Lex
