That's What He/She Said

"you should feel proud" (on making my coil pot within 8 hours)
that's what she said

 

In rehearsal, our first day of using a large red bouncy ball as a prop.

Girl: Will you guys come stand in a circle and bounce the ball with me?
Boy: No, let me finish this song.
Girl: Fine. I'll just play with myself.
Me: That's-
Girl: BY myself.

Then, later, the same girl: I like balls.
Everyone else: That's what-
Girl: BOUNCY balls!

 

(my dad explaining why he made such a mess in the kitchen while making dinner)
"Well, when I make the tomato sauce I crush the tomatoes with my hands.
When you squeeze them, they squirt."
TWSS

 

my roommate choked today. i told him that he needs to learn how to swallow.

 

My friend unplugged a chord out of the socket. I said why did you
pull it out.
Thats what she said.

 

Don't let it hit you in the eye, it'll probably bruise! (discussing nerf guns)
That's what he said.

 

We have to take that out of your mouth. (My dentist talking about removing a wisdom tooth)
That's what he said.

 

Oh god, my friends and I have so many of these types of moments. Some of the good ones are:

"You should give me a bite of that breast meat." (while eating chicken :lol

"You can put it in as long as you want." (talking about Hot Pockets and microwaves)

"You need to find a better use for your mouth!" (I think my best friend said this to me when I was being a fatass and eating a ton of food. Needless to say, I lol'd)

 

*teacher during exam*
"ok class time for the oral part"

thats what she said!

 

"I love eating watermelon, if you know what I mean "
That's what he said.

 

HAHAHA!

My friends have this routine going:

1: Thats what she said
2: In bed
3: Without pants on

"Damn its hot tonight."
Thats what she said!

 

I actually said this once, I was talking about a bolt of of lightning.

"Oh, baby! That thing was HUGE!"

It took me a couple of seconds to realize that that's what she said...

 

"You've gotta be kidding me. There's no way it's gonna fit in there!"
That's what she said...

 

Is it too late to join the fun?

 

"I'm having some trouble with this"

...that's what he said

 

It's ok if your squirting it into your mouth but it's when you're sucking on it that it becomes a problem (my science teacher talking about sharing drink bottles)

 

How hard can it get? (That's what he said)

Just eat it! (That's what he said)