Empty Closets: The Musical

(I love how Mama and I keep going back and forth with the Sondheim stuff)

The entire cast enters and sings "Everybody's got the Right" from Assassins (HOMOSEXUAL SUBTEXT IS SO HUGE HERE). As the song ends, they raise their guns, which, instead of firing bullets, shoot confetti into the air.

END OF ACT ONE.

ACT TWO

The curtain opens, revealing...

 

Everyone exits and Mama walks onstage dressed in a glorious full-length ball gown
Mama belts out a beautiful version of "I Dreamed A Dream" from Les Miserables.
Then Mama collapses.

 

Suddenly, "Holding out for a Hero" begins to play as Pirateninja swings to the stage on a rope to catch Mama in a very swashbuckling manner. Giving a tip of the hat that makes all the ladies in the audience swoon, she begins up a dance competion with other EC members, occasionaly shouting "YOU GOT SERVED!"

 

As the dance competition ends, the men enter, joining the women and singing and dancing "I Hope I Get It" from A Choruse Line, with Mama playing the role of Zach and Taylor as Paul. Pirateninja plays Diana.

 

*Mama got confused as to which gender he should've picked in "The Battle Of The Sexes" so he just sits in the audience and steals someones popcorn.*
*Occasionally yells out "FILTHY HOMOS!"*

 

The cast turns to Mama, shocked.

 

*Daniel as Herr Zeller comes in and shoots Greg*
(ironically my part in the school musical is in fact Herr Zeller in The Sound of Music)

*breaks out into a sad and tragic sonet based around his lost love of Jello*

 

The cast speculates as to who shot Greg (None of them saw it happen) with "Your Fault" from Into the Woods. When they finish. Mama enters as both Jack's Mother and The Steward. She somehow manages to hit herself in the head with a scepter.

 

YAY!
*Realises he's out of the seats and in the action*
*Confused but happy*

 

Things are starting to wind down onstage. The cast comes together to formulate some sort of plot:

 

And as that rousing musical number ends, the lights simmer down, where I sing "On my own" from Les Mis, in full Cossette attire, to commermerate how lonley...and single I am.

 

the spotlight then slowly dims from PeaceLoveJoy and slowly, a off-white/yellow spotlight lights up my face, from below, so the brightest is on my chin. I have clown make-up on. There is some of the 'audience', extras within the real audience, which start talking amongst themselves. I stand there, looking astounded at this. 'Hello, can you be quiet? I'm trying to do a performance!'
'Did you hear me? No you didn't hear me' (chatter slowly dies out) 'thats the story of my life, nobody ever notices me, I mean one day I went to school and when I came home (pause) my parents... they'd moved!'
Piano starts playing introduction to 'Mr. Cellophane' from Chicago.
I sing a powerhouse performance of the song, with plenty of jazz-hands and starting to get angrier towards the end before the long high note at the end. I then hold on the last note until it dies out...
I start to walk towards off-stage right, stop, turn to the audience,
'Hope I didnt take up too much of your time'
Light dies out.
Until suddenly a bright light comes on with.....

 

me and another empty closets member, I am dressed as Sharpay Evans from High School Musical 3, I'm here to steal the show...literally, with the milllion dollar number "I want it all" with boys in tight pants and in spandex, finally the big finsih as we take our final pose, an assassins' bullet takes down the other EC member, the lights are dimmed, we now begin "Curtains" (that musical with David Hyde Peirce....I think I'm not really sure)

 

Make way people, I'M HERE NOW.



...and so is my CREW...




...And we are here to ROCK THIS HOUSE!!