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Coming out and the military

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by gazwkd, Feb 28, 2009.

  1. James2612

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    Hey Gaz,
    Sorry to hear you have been "Outed"... But this might be a blessing in disguise! Saves you doing it your self.. (Just trying to see the positive side for you!)
    You said that some people are openly gay where you are... You could try bringing the subject up with one of them. I am sure they have been thru this already!

    Also just to put your mind at rest, a lot of people that make homophobic comments do it for a "Laugh" and dont really have that much of a problem. Also some think that if they are not clearly anti-gay then they may be considered gay themselves.... So try not to worry about any homo-phobics.. easier said than done i am sure!! I came out recently and you will be surprised how many people are actually ok with it, even those you would think would not be ok with it!!

    I think it makes it harder that you have been there a while and never said any thing. If you was open from the start no one thinks much of it! But it didnt work that way for you so you may have some people asking questions..... Also you know what blokes are like, they like to rib each other and being gay is some thing to rib some one on!! Just try not to show it annoys you..... there is nothing wrong in being gay, your still you, you haven't changed you have always been bi (sorry i keep saying gay, but i mean gay/bi) the only difference is now they know a little more about you than they did a few weeks ago!!

    Good luck with it all... I hope it all goes well for you! You in a great place for help and advise!!!

    Take care!
     
  2. gazwkd

    gazwkd Guest

    Cheers, I should explain that within the britsih forces there are a fair few openly gay people but within my corps/unit I only know of 1 lesbian and a bisexual girl. No guys who are out I'm afraid!
     
  3. EM68

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    I'm sorry that you are afraid. (*hug*) Is there one or two people in your unit that you can confide in? If this is the case talk to them. Also is there any way for you to talk to the lesbian woman in your unit to get some advice?
     
  4. gazwkd

    gazwkd Guest

    I wouldn't trust the girl to keep her mouth shut i'm afraid.
    I have confided in a close friend already.
    As they say i will have to cross the bridge when I come to it (i,e when someone mentions something)
    I'm a bit calmer about things now, I'll just carry on at work as per normal
     
  5. James2612

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    Some one has to be the first i suppose!!
    Good luck with it all!!
     
  6. EM68

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    I think it is best to continue work the way you have been. You want to show your coworkers your are proud of who you are. As others has said keep your head up high.
     
  7. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    Is there a don't ask don't tell act in the UK forces?
     
  8. gazwkd

    gazwkd Guest

    nope, we have a very good equality and diversity policy even for transgendered people
     
  9. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    Wow. Your country is sounding better than mine minute by minute. What're you afraid of then? :slight_smile: Have you accepted the fact yourself?
     
  10. LorenzG1950

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    Hi and welcome gaz,

    I’ve been with the US military for over 32 years, as a civilian employee. I came out to my boss 2 years ago and I’ve written a few letters to Stars & Stripes supporting gay rights, specifically the right to serve openly. A few people at work suspect and my boyfriend’s photo is firmly planted next to my pc :icon_bigg.

    Actually, even people who might suspect, will not touch the subject with a 10 foot pole. I’m not exactly shouting from the rooftops that I’m gay. There are some real homophobes in the US military so it could have a negative impact if I were openly gay.

    In your case, just act normal. Chances are, the subject will only come up with closer friends. Be honest and follow your gut feeling. It’s perfectly normal to be bi so what are you worried about? The less dramatic you make it, the less of a big deal it will be for your friends and buddies. The British Forces are far more tolerant than the US military. That’s definitely in your favor. Good luck. :thumbsup:

    Love that big dog in the last photo :eusa_clap.
     
  11. Alex19

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    i concur! if anyone gives u shit, kick their ass!
     
  12. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    I also agree that I like the UK forces better. Lol I really wanted to join the army but the Dont Ask Dont Tell scares me off. Now, instead, I am wanting to join the UK forces lol.
     
  13. dominoD

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    hey man.

    i feel your pain. im in the military too and its tough. this dont ask dont tell is ridiculous. i dont understand why ppl say it would be too hard to have us cuz we are already here. and yes you might have to worry about homophobic ppl where your stationed but at least you dont have to worry about being kicked out.

    just stay tough. remember your not alone in it all. we are everywhere.