My PhD induced Depression

I don't have any advice. I know the situation you are talking about and it sucks. So all I can say is. (*hug*)

 

When I hit my bottom, I found myself crying into my mashed potatoes and thinking "I think something may be wrong". Like you, I had loving people around me and my then girlfriend happened to be a therapist who helped me get help. I was okay for a little while but would fall back down. The worst part was how I ripped myself apart inside for being "lazy", "unmotivated" or "worthless". How could other people manage to live life so easily when I found it a chore to get out of bed? I was cruel to myself.

I would encourage you to continue to reach out. I assembled what I called my "theraputic SWAT team" consisting of my therapist, doctor, career coach (found at my local uni) and my ADHD coach online. I could not have made it through like I did without them!

Good luck!

PS-AND...if you want to put it in perspective google "dissertation coaches" there is a whole business that has risen up so you are most definitely not alone!

 

I think the fact that you recognize there's a problem and are trying to get help is to be commended. Don't give up! There are many different meds. out there for depression.
It's a pain in the butt sometimes,but you may have to go through a few to find
the one that works for you. I have been on several different ones ,through the years.
I am a firm believer in meds and counseling. You're on the right track. Good luck!

 

The situation you have described is extremely common in masters and doctoral programs. It accounts for why there are so many ABDs (all but dissertation) out there.

My personal observation is that many students like you who pursue degrees consecutively and are who perfectionists/overachievers by nature seem to be especially prone to depression and mental illness during their program. The stress and the time commitment play a large part in it and maybe students find that they don't have time for work-life balance. It is one's personal life and the support structure around you that help a person stay grounded. By withdrawing from your friends, hobbies, the gym and other things that you enjoy, you have upset that balance between work/study and life.

Getting an advanced degree is a roller-coaster. But the level of depression that you find yourself in is what we try to avoid. Most faculty are always on the lookout for the signs of depression in students. It's one of the reasons that the role of a faculty advisor is so important. Have you talked with your advisor about the problems you are having?

 

I know what you're going through. Im in my final year of the doctorate and we have got people breaking down left, right and centre. But i strongly advise seeking help from the staff where you are studying cos they do know about how tough it is.

 

I think you should go to your shrink and have your medicine adjucted or switched. For example, zoloft might not be working, so they might want to put u on prozac and it will work better for you.

 

Yeah, I sympathize. Being in a similar situation myself, I can definitely say that it sucks.

 

Hey, I feel so sorry for your story, and I can relate because I am also a phd student.
The only difference between us is that I'm in my first year of the program.
Like you, I'm the typical person who get depressed whenever under pressure. When there is a dead line or obstacle in front of me, I get depressed. I don't wanna go to school and meet other hardworking phd guys. I would spend days in bed, sleep during the day. I more time I wasted, the more depressed I feel.
But somehow, I could managed to get out of this circle. It could be jogging out side when it's sunny, sports helps you fight depress. Or you can start taking notes about everything you did during the day. Try to tell yourself you did a lot of things such as cook a meal, search the internet for fun, or learnt some new knowledge which might be useful in the future. The most important thing is that you need to make yourself believe you are not wasting your time and you will surprised to find out from your notes that you are actually had a great day and did many things.

Oh, just realize this is a pretty old post. Hope everything goes well for you guys
Hope

 

Hi, OP. I can relate. I've got more than 4 years of college education. I can't say I liked graduate school very much. It's so highbrow compared to undergrad which tends to be more practical. Interesting nomenclature - here, a thesis is for a masters and a dissertation is for a doctorate.

It could be many things. The first is obviously simple exhaustion. The second is that a thesis or dissertation somehow defines you, and that academic program you are doing, so one feels it is an extension of themselves, hence the postponement. The third is that it is lonely. Undergraduate is more social, while graduate school, unless it is filled with a bumper crop of people like MBA or law, feels very niche like and introspective. Depression in graduate students is very common. So is turning to mind altering substances, alcohol, and sex as a means of stress relief. Be careful with these areas. Lastly, it could be a fear to finish, and even though there is a euphoric feeling when you do, there is also a post-partum type depression after such a feat.

All of what you, and any graduate student, are experiencing is totally normal and much talked about. The trick is finding the solutions that are both healthy and work for your situation. I finally pushed mine out by blocking time. It sort of worked. I remember some really dark days, so I feel for you.

 

I was a student for 7 years followed by a post graduate diploma for another 2 years. I wrote a thesis when I was suffering from depression. I found the act of writing coherent paragraphs very difficult just because my head was all tangled up and the meds weren't quite right.

Under those conditions a thesis risks taking on a 'mountain like' scale and overwhelming you ... like "how can I even start this thing"... a line of thinking that's likely to keep you in bed.

Can you reinvigorate yourself by (i) reminding yourself why you wanted to do this research (ii) making it fun for yourself so that you are not dreading it when you wake up (iii) map out a programme and targets on a wall chart (iv) breaking it down in to manageable tasks and just tackle each one in a sequence

At one point early on, when I was struggling, I decided to stop writing and just focus on my introduction, bibliography and illustrations because they could be got out of the way and it's one thing less to do later on when everything is a panic.

I would push draft chapters out to friends/family to get feedback... it all helps.

And focus on what a relief it will be to submit it, and have it done well, and behind you !!!