ok, i just recently came out, and being gay is kinda of new to me. i've noticed a lot of gay men are somewhat more feminine and stylish. before i came out, i always tried to be more masculine to hide any idea that i was gay. but after coming out, i don't feel that i have to be like that anymore. what i want to ask is how do i be more feminine and stylish, but still be more dominantly masculine? i want to be more stylish, by that i mean, i need a new hair cut, somewhat of a new wardrobe, and try to be more out and openly gay. :icon_wink
Just do what feels comfortable. When I came out at work, I started wearing more colorful shirts and walking different and talking different and It felt so uncomfortable after a few days that I just said screw it. I realized that I was the same person I always was, I just wasn't watching myself anymore. So the trick is to stop trying and let yourself happen. Don't judge yourself. Wherever that takes you is cool. If you want to go out and buy the rainbow short-shorts with matching suspenders, that is totally awesome, (and I think you should tell me where you got them when you find them,) but just make sure that you're not trying at it. Coming out is about being 100% unapologetically you. Not what people want you to be and definitely not what people think you should be. I thought that there were all these parts of me that I had repressed and suddenly I didn't know what it meant to be me, and I talked to some people on here and it was suggested that I take small steps, and find what I'm comfortable with. When you stand in the mirror, do YOU like the clothes your wearing, or are you thinking about what THEY are going to think. Live for you. If it's got to be learned then it's not you. Instead of pretending to be straight, you're now trying to pretend to be "gay". Just be you. Do what you know how to. Do what you've always enjoyed. I love to fish I love to hike I love to shop I love to talk about men I hate celebrity gossip I'm masculine with a feminine side in that my interests can be feminine. Take what you like from both sides. I love to talk about my emotions, but I also love talking about cars. This is your liberation man! This is the day when you are allowed to be what you want from both sides without shame. Go to a musical in torn levi's and a flannel shirt, go to a monster truck show in tight jeans and an ultra-cute t-shirt. Whatever fits what you are. Welcome the freedom of the Darkside, Have a cookie.
tnks a lot for that. i didn't think about what i wanted about myself. when i think about how i look, i try to think about how i want to look, and how others will like my look, but thinking about that now, i put to much emphasis on what they thought of me, instead of what i thought how i looked. again, tnks a lot for that, it really helped a lot.
Same here. I have quit watching self and I have noticed a couple of interesting changes. First my accent has gotten heavier, especially when I am tired. There has been a few times that it has even caught me off guard. Another is my vocabulary is changing. I will use bigger words, but oh how should I put it more red neck talk are slipping in too. Phrases like over yonder, tumped over, full up, that there and so on. It really can be funny at times, especially when the two collide. The other day I actually said "As a corollary to your ponderings."
I would say, hit Macy's, I just finished working for them and right now their having sales all the time, I got three Armani shirts for $14 each, I would say that stick to a business casual look, some nice slacks a dress shirt, I like the brand Cubawera for that, they have really stylish dress shirts one can wear, for winterwear I would go with Izzod, macys has some great Izod sweaters right now and you cant go wrong with a nice john ashford scarf on sale right now. just ask if you want more advice
Totally agree with the point that you should wear what you want to, it doesnt really matter that much as long as you are yourself. I know that i have always been a bright colours person but was always stopped by my ex wife buying some clothes that i liked as she said they were too gay. Whoops, anyway now i just buy what i like and am comfortable in so that would be my advice. As for hair well that doesnt really matter unlees you really dislike you hairstyle, if so go and ask a stylist at a hairdressers for some advice or look thorugh some magazines to see what you want, not what you think you should have. :icon_bigg
Wow, I think I'm fallin for Pendrin now lol. But yeah, The point of coming out isnt saying your gay, letting the world know that your ready to be yourself. I myself Love The outdoors, My '67 Mustange is my baby, I love mud bogging and riding fourwheelers all day long. I also Love Romantic comedies, Love to cook, I like to shop, and you have no idea how much I talk about guys... So just do what you do.
Everyone gave you great advice. Just be yourself. If you want to change your look, go for it. If not dress the way you want. I am very masculine. During the week I have to wear a shirt and tie for work and tend to wear baggy pants. When I am at home or go out I wear jeans, t shirts and sweaters. Nothing that special, just comfortable. I also like to shop but I will catch a game on TV and love fantasy baseball and football (I actually won this year).
You have spent years trying to be something you're not (trying to appear as a straight guy). Now is the time to be your true self and not try to be something else you're not (a stereotypical gay character). Being gay is being ourselves. Just be yourself and accept yourself for who you are and you'll be fine. Choose clothes you like, not that are the same as everyone else wears. I don't think many people would know I was gay from looks, actions or the way I speak, but I am and I don't really care what others think. If you're thinking of attracting partners, don't worry. Some of us don't really like effeminate queeny types and prefer our guys to be guys!
Sedcond the queeny type quote, i much prefer men to be men. lathough having said that im a bit of a fashion freak. Still its mens fashions, no handbags or silk scarves LOL
I agree with everyone else: it's all about being you. When you go shopping, take a chance and try on some things you wouldn't normally wear. (I'm a Banana Republic guy, myself.) Different styles, different colors, etc. And when you get into the dressing room, if it looks good go for it! Small changes can make you feel a whole lot better. For me, a simple switch from boring old straight (pun intended) jeans to more fitted cuts looked a lot better, as did more fitted shirts and sweaters. Just keep trying things and before long you'll feel really confident about how you look. An aside: This summer I bought a Tommy Hilfiger leather jacket. It was not long after I came out to my wife. Her response: "it looks great" and "I guess you really are gay." So I guess I've made the fashion transition. :icon_wink
tnks guys, i really appreciate the advice. but i've been thinking and realized why i've been trying to be more masculine, was not just to hide my sexuality, but hide my sense of style. when i pick what i were for the day, it always takes me sometime before i pick what i will wear. i have make sure that my shoes, pants, shirt, and even my hair all are in order. so yah, ill just be myself, and keep on doing what i do.
Oh I get you on that. There was some stuff I liked that I hid because i thought people might think it was gay. Like for example I am pretty much a beer guy, the only mixed drink I like is Margaritas. I was afraid to order them because I because I thought others might think it was gay. Now I really don't care if someone things something I do is gay, because well I am gay.
