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crying, and desprately wanting to hurt myself....whats wrong with me

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Sarah, Jan 24, 2009.

  1. Sarah

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    Everyday I've been crying. I don't know what I'm crying about. Everything in my life is pretty good right now. I've got good grades, I've got good friends, I've got a great boyfriend. What's wrong then? I don't know.:tears:

    The littlest things get me so upset. Like, just now, my mom called me into the bathroom because i didn't clean the hair off of the floor arter i brushed it. And she's just a clean freak, so she was frustrated and yelling to herself saying "I don't see how it's so hard to do something so simple" as she walked off to her room. And that just pissed me off and made me feel so incompitent and stupid and useless, I went in my room and just cried. And I've been so exhasted all the time. I don't do anything at all and I'm just so tired. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to sleep again. Then when I'm home alone i get the strongest urge to hurt myself, cut myself, burn myself, do anything to feel something but i don't know what i want to feel. I don't want to be in pain but i just want to pick up a freaking knife and cut myself. I hate feeling like this. Feeling so helpless. I hate it. I just want it to go away. But i don't know what's wrong.

    please if you think you know, tell me:help:. reading it over....I sound depressed...what do you think?:icon_sad::confused:
     
  2. Ben

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    I think you sound like quite an emotional person. As for anything more, such as depression, someone qualified enough really needs to give judgement on that.
    That's why it might be a good idea to go and see a counsellor to talk over these feelings as soon as you can, and they can help you feel better. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Nick

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    Firstly, talking about it is usually the most difficult thing to do, so well done :slight_smile:

    Secondly, cutting/hurting yourself will achieve nothing.
    In the past, I've felt like that too. But instead of hurting myself, I found the best things to do were either:
    Go for a walk
    Write about my feelings (usually in the form of poetry, but it could be just a narrative)
    Listen to music really loudly.
    Have a shower.
    or sit on my roof.

    I'm not saying that these will work for you but it is just to show you how simple things can help. They're worth a try.

    If your school has a counsellor, I would recommend talking to them. They won't judge you and they won't tell anyone either.
     
  4. Maddy

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    I agree on the school counsellor thing - they're trained and paid to listen to people like you, and they'll have seen a lot of people in similar situations.
    Instead of cutting or otherwise hurting yourself, definitely try some of Nick's suggestions. Also punching pillows or working out can be excellent. What I used to do when I felt that way was play a game I found online - a logic/puzzle game where I had to concentrate fairly hard. I found that when I was doing that and concentrating on the game, my emotions would be working in the background and I'd feel a lot calmer afterwards. Maybe you could see if something like that works.
    If you feel like you're going to hurt yourself, try and get yourself into company straight away. Go somewhere public, sit with family or friends, or if it's the middle of the night, maybe get online if you can. When people are around, you're a lot less likely to do something you'll regret.
    (*hug*)
     
  5. wallflower

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    You are very emotional. And that is perfectly normal at your age, because your body chemistry is crazy right now. Your levels of hormones are similar to a pregnant woman when you are going through puberty and that means your mood goes up and down like a rollercoaster and you cry for nothing at all. See it for what it is. You might need someone to talk to that have gone through that already. You have a good life - try to think positive thoughts. Injuring yourself is pointless. Why destroy something that is in good working order? I too agree with previous posters who suggested you seeing a school counsellor.
     
  6. Teri

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    I have had depression so bad it made the cups of your hands ache and I have a friend who told me she cut herself just to feel something and to control something in her life. Counseling is hard and yes talking about it at all is the hardest step so yes WELL DONE *hugs* you are not nuts they are not going to lock you away or say it is all really your fault what a counselor will do is listen and teach you the ways to cope with these times so you don't have to think of hurting yourself. Ask the counselor to not just say you need to do this but teach you the tools of how to do what you need to do. *hugs again* you are not alone we care !
     
  7. Jim1454

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    I'm not sure if you're depressed. You certainly sound like someone who is at the end of their rope. So does your mom to be honest. When big chunks of your life are out of control, we try to control the little things - like freaking out when there's hair on the floor.

    Is there something else going on at your house that has you all stressed out? That could be the cause.

    Whatever it is, you'd benefit from talking to someone about this - a professional. Ask your parents if they are entitled to any kind of counselling or therapy through their work. Many large companies make this available to their employees and their families, so it might be available to you.

    Try to keep things in perspective though. Develop an attitude of gratitude, becuase surely there are some things in your life that you're thankful for. Focus on the positive and you'll see it a lot more often than you see the negative.

    And cutting - it might seem like a solution in the beginning but it ends up being a bigger problem than anything else. So don't start. Again - therapy to get this stuff off your chest is a MUCH better idea.

    Good luck!
     
  8. Sarah

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    thanx u guys. it help somewhat. ive been trying to talk to a counselor.

    i did a couple of weeks ago. i was going to go last week. i was somewhat in a bad place, but she was busy. it was just two day b4 i postd this thread. when i didnt talk to her i was kind of cut off from my family for a little while. didnt talk to them a lot. just nodded and said what i needed to. kinda felt lik i was in my own little crampd shell(?) felt lik i was punishing myself