Internalization.

Nope it's not a problem at all. I like helping others with their problems but I much prefer to deal with my own problems on my own. I do the same thing, I think about them then act accordingly.

 

It's good to be intelligent enough to realize right from wrong and the places your decisions will take you, but from my own experience I know that if you have a lot of problems they will eventually catch up with and surpass you.

I'm just judging from what you've put so far, but I don't think at the moment you really need to confide into anyone, however, I will say that if you don't have anyone that you could confide to now, then you need to find someone because one day you probably will need a shoulder to rest on. It's much easier to settle problems when someone is there to help lighten your burden.

I don't really know how to give you advice on opening up to people. I think everyone has there way of going about it. I think the basic is that you have to be yourself and be lively and the people that will support you will find you.. and you'll just naturally want to confide in those people. This is too general to help though... just saying :/

 

Sometimes the point of talking about issues with your friends isn't to solicit advice. Sometimes the point is to just talk about it.

There's something cathartic about getting things off your chest. And sometimes talking about it out loud makes the situation clearer.

From your friend's perspective, it also makes the feel that you trust them and value their friendship enough to be open and honest with them.

 

I don't talk about it either! To anyone!

I just feel like people will think i'm wanting attention (I know alot of people like that!)

I just think different things work for different people! and if that works for you like it does me then go for it dude!

 

I tend to talk through a lot of my problems with myself. I just go somewhere alone and start thinking out loud.

Though sometimes it helps to talk to someone. Most of the time they are listening, but they might catch onto something you missed or offer another point of view.

 

I'm speaking from personal experience so this may be entirely different for you but,

I don't think it's it's necessarily bad to internalize , in fact its not like everybody needs to know everything. I also tend to make decisions on my own.

That said, it definitely helped me grow as a person when I learned to open up to other people - epsecially with the bigger problems and questions. And its not just for the advice...tbh I probably chart my own path more often than I follow their advice. But the support and bonds I've gotten from doing it has been wonderful. Of course, it also relieves a lot of stress and burdens.

As for how to open up - I think it's more about putting yourself into the situations. Depending on yourself you may find it easier to open up to someone your already close to or maybe someone you don't know as well. Personally, I got involved with a church small group. I didn't really know any of the guys that well - but their support was definitely a big help at times for me.

But anyway, I would suggest finding a balance. It is definitely a great thing that you have the confidence to confront your life problems but at some point you will probably need the support you can get from opening up.

 

There is a spectrum about socialization stretching between extroversion and introversion. You obviously fall farther on the introversion side, but I'm guessing not all the way over. People that are introverted are not necessarily loners; they are just people that choose to internalize their thoughts rather than share them with others.

That being said, it may be beneficial to share them with someone who is close to you if you have such a person. Friendships with introverts are often the deepest and most rewarding friendships. You could learn as much from someone as they would learn from you.

Don't feel bad or ashamed for not sharing your feelings-- it's just the way introverts process.

 

well i do that too. i mean i tend to keep things to myself unless it's like really serious.
so don't worry. but make sure u do have close friends and family members so that u can talk to them when u feel the need to

 

I used to do this all the time. In fact when I was confused about my sexual identity I told no one not even online, and until I came out to my bff I had kept everything inside. This was not a good aproach for me because I would bottle up all my feelings and then just explode. I recomend talking about all of your problems to someone to get them off your chest.

 

I do exactly the same thing! Twins!

"Internalizing" is bad if it equates to repression, or holding things in and refusing to deal with them. Suppression is healthier: suppressing feelings temporarily to get tasks at hand completed; for example, going to work despite a recent break-up, and then after work letting things out by crying or talking to a friend. It is never good to ignore a problem or do nothing about it.

Talking to others is not always necessary if you have a plan of action for dealing with the problem. If you're ever unsure of what to do, it usually helps to ask for advice from someone you know can offer it honestly and respectfully.

 

I agree with Markio. As long as your not repressing your problems and you are still dealing with them. Working things out on your own is very good.

But I do think talking about it with people can be very important. By getting different perspectives and advice + love and support, it helps you grow as a person.

 

I agree with all of the above except that I don't believe introverts "CHOOSE" to be introverted. Rather, I believe introversion is innate and unchangeable.

Because our society considers conversations with pauses and silence as awkward (you know the phrase "awkward silence"), we introverts are expected to quickly carry on conversations. However, the/a defining aspect of introversion is thinking and then speaking, so for introverts conversations can be draining (in terms of energy). For example, consider these two scenarios between Extroverted Emily (EE) and Introverted Isaac (II):

1. EE asks II a question.
   II does what comes natural to him by first thinking about the question (GOOD--introverts want time to think).
   This means II creates awkard silence (BAD--faux pas).
   
2. EE asks II a question.
   II fights his tendency to think before speaking (BAD--this unnatural behavior causes energy loss).
   This means II quickly responds (GOOD--not a faux pas).

Do you see the push-pull phenomenon?

Ultimately, conversations drain introverts of energy. If introverts (or anybody) don't have energy, they can't function. So, regarding introverts, they will want alone time after a length of communication in order to recharge.

So, no, nothing is wrong with internalizing--you're merely preserving your energy. But when you're feeling energetic, maybe you could seek out a confidant.