Resentment Family/parents

Judging by how many topics you've made or commented on regarding family, you need to have a sit down with them. You seem to be bottling up ALOT of resentment towards them which will only hurt you in the end.

I'm not saying you need to talk about being gay or anything like that. Just tell them what you are feeling and how you think things need to change for your and their happiness. Just make sure you wait until a time when no one is stressed. Like a few days after Christmas instead of during the sometimes overly-energized partying.

Families should be a support system and not something that makes you feel bad.

After all, it is the season of the heart. It's all the ways that you show love that make it Christmas.

 

You don't hate your parents otherwise you wouldn't be so worried and upset about what they think about you.

 

Try not to hate them until they actually give you a bad reaction. Of course you expect they'll have a bad reaction and you're worried about what it's gonna be. You never know though, sometimes your parents will surprise you. Until then, try not to be down about it. It's normal for kids to resent their parents. You just have a more valid reason than most teenagers.

 

There are probably alot of people on here who have religious parents and/or have heard homophobic things come out of their parents mouths and still their parents have learned to accept them. Try not to hate your parents. Instead see them as the uneducated (a little brainwashed by religion) people they are. I know their comments hurt you and the only way you are going to get them to stop is by educating them and to eventually come out!

 

I know my dad will be the easiest person to come out to, because he's the one person whose approval and support i value least

 

I feel you I know 100% how your feeling right now.

Even though your parents dont know your gay, and have no reason to, you still KNOW they will not be happy when you do pop it on them. I have that same feeling with my super Christian parents.

...but no matter what, they ARE your parents. I dont believe they would disown you or anything and thats coming from ME, the king of family issues, so its gotta mean it
If they love you know you have no reason to fear that stopping. It may not be the best reaction, but time will mend whatever negatives come out of it. (Im more typing this for myself, trying to convince myself this...and ya know, its almost working)

 

my siblings always judge me no matter what i do. who knows how they will treat me when they find out that i'm bi.:dry:

 

Sometimes It's just best to ignore the blaring defects of other people and move on to the good in them. My dad thinks he's tony soprano, my mom doesn't do much more than sit around and watch tv, and my brothers have a direct feed to xbox live via the plugs they installed on the backs of their heads (like the matrix).

I on the other hand am in touch with my emotions and take pleasure in the world that I find outside of the silicon our society has come to value over reality. I fish and I hike and I talk to people about things that don't happen on TV. I walk through the mall like I did today and ponder on the motivations and emotions of the confused and manipulated masses.

My father is living his soap opera
My brother is fantasizing about gears of war III
My mother is lost in survivor
Both of my parents are brutal Republicans and everything that goes with it. (even Gaybashing)

I am sharing a part of myself with people all over the world in the hopes of somehow touching someone's life.

My family and I are so totally opposite that I have had to grasp and accept the concept that we may just never see eye to eye. They are middle class and white, I am a minority. But every day I get up and walk out of my room and know that their love for me knows no bounds.

My father lacks the emotional sophistication to understand what he's feeling, and it often comes out completely bass-ackwards. but when it comes right down to it he would be more afraid of what it meant for me. How hard my life would be to be different. But again, he doesn't understand what he's feeling so it jumps right to what he can understand, what it means to his reputation.

When I started to understand that my parents weren't bad people; that they were just spiritually and emotionally sick, I found a place in my heart with compassion and pity.

they may never know the depths of their hearts that I have found in mine. They may never know what it means to truly love themselves.

their words are from ignorance, and from that, I find a way to love them.

Thanks.

 

Well I have had this feeling to and sometimes I dread coming home I honestly really do and I am afraid you have to put up with it they might not like you being gay or think you an odd ball etc
So it is a thing you need to get over.

 

I know how you feel. Trust me.

My parents are too, strict Catholics and HUGE homophobes. Not a good combo, as I'm sure you know. Being teenagers of course we are going to act up more that younger kids or adults. We have all those hormones and whatnot building inside us, we feel like no one understands and we can't ever seem to find answers.

I still haven't told my parents that I'm bi. They'd probably beat me to near death then disown me if I did say anything. :dry: They just about shot me when I said I have a few gay and lesbian friends. They insisted that I stopped being friends with them immediately, then said they were contaminating God's world with diseases, and how horrible the Gay community is etc, then both being physiologists they started saying it was a phase and the stages teenagers go through "these days" etc etc etc...

Being teenagers we can't move out yet, can't run away, and thus are forced to face our family each day. The relationship I had with my family-and still kind of do- got so bad that I longed for school, and I would hang out after school saying I was taking some test, or staying after for some club even on days when I wasn't, just to get away from them. You don't want it to escalate to that.

I honestly can say that you have to sit down and talk to them. If you think it's hard for you, it could be worse. Both my parents being the physiologists that they are, they analyze everything I do and say. They try to get deep about everything and claim that they know everything because they earned a ton of fancy degrees and crap in college. *grumbles on :tantrum:* Ahhemm.

So just take some time and say how you feel. You don't need to say anything about being gay. Just ask if there would be a good time to sit down and have a serious discussion with you. Once the date of the discussion is set up, and you are all sitting down, talk to them. Just say that you feel that you can't hold a normal conversation with them. Try to keep your cool and talk in a calm voice. Make note cards with point you want to talk about it needed.

When they talk listen to them, or at least pretend that you are. Most likely they will listen.

All in all, they need to know. You could see a school councilor about things too. They'll listen and won't argue back. Then if need the counselor does the talking for you. Plus if your lucky they will give you a lollypop or some other piece of candy.


Hope that helps. Best of luck to you!

 

Wow, your parents are psychologists and they STILL said that to you? I have alot of "tolerance" for those that are brainwashed by religion and ignorance because I too was once there but to be educated professionals and to say that to their child is just plain WRONG! :tantrum:

 

Eh. I got used to it after a while. They like to pick apart everything I do and say but no worries. After 14 years of it, you learn to ignore it.



As for trying2behappy no problem! When I sat down to talk to my parents about toning down all of the physiological stuff the thought I was pregnant and exploded. :roflmao: They asked me and I burst out laughing. Now that is a funny story.

So regardless of what they think, it will be easier the sooner you talk to them, when they are in a good mood.

So parents flipping out thinking that their son or daughter did something wrong is completely normal if the parents are protective of their son or daughter.