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Forbidden Fruit

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by summersforecast, Dec 13, 2008.

  1. summersforecast

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    straight guys - lesbians
    Lesbians - straight girls
    straight girls - gay guys
    gay guys - straight guys


    so what can I do about straight girls who have crushes on me besides come out to them? I mean I seems just because Im not out I can't make some good friends because I not good at talking to guys, most girls in my grade like me in a way Ill never like them back and the Gay/Lesbian population at my school is in the closet:bang:
     
  2. summersforecast

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    so no one thinks anything about this? No advice on what I should do about straight girls who have crushes on me?:help::help::help:
     
  3. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    If girls have crushes on you and you don't want to come out to them, just let them down gently as you would with anyone you don't like. Be nice to them but don't flirt, and if they make any moves or hints just tell them gently and kindly that you're flattered, but you're not interested. If you feel like you need a more concrete excuse, say "There's someone else I like", or say "I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now".

    I can sympathise, because there have been a couple of boys who fancy me and it's pretty awkward, especially seeing as I'm not sure whether I like boys or not. One of them I decided to just tell I was outright gay, because he was at a summer school and I'd never have to see him again, and I definately didn't like him, so that put him off. The other goes to my school so I'm just playing a continual game of "being nice but not misleadingly nice" to him. hehe, teenagers are funny :wink:
     
  4. Trumpetplyer23

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    Just tell them you're not interested in a nice, polite way. Such as, "I'm flattered [insert name here], but I'm really not looking for a girlfriend right now. Do you just want to be friends?"
     
  5. summersforecast

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    Thanks but its just the more I say things like, "I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now" the more people start to wonder... "Is he ever looking for a girl friend"
    thanks for your support ladies and Psychedelic Bookmarks add me to you friends!
     
  6. Steve

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    well first i dont see the reason of you being gay mean not having males sports..
    IMO lets those girls have theirs crushes at you..
    or you could do the right thing and pull them aside and say that your not interested
     
  7. Pendrin2020

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    This is one of those catch 22 situations. damned if you do and you ain't gettin' what you want if you don't. I would recommend coming out to one or two of them and asking for help. Just pick someone who is open-minded and can keep a secret.
     
  8. Steve

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    mamn i want to read catch 22..
    btw since he joined EC he is doomed to come out in the next few months
    this site is awesume
     
    #8 Steve, Dec 13, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2008
  9. trumpetkid23

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    I agree entirely. Remember that being gay doesn't make your feelings or their feelings any less real. You're not obligated to come out to them unless you choose to (which could possibly make it more confusing for them). Just treat it exactly how you'd treat it if a gay guy who you didn't like had feelings for you. Let them down in the nicest way possible and tell them you just don't have those kinds of feelings for them.
     
  10. trumpetkid23

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    Also, in regards to this, the worst thing you can do is actually date them as a cover up. This will damage you, and is detrimental to them. I'm not going to go into details, but I dated a girl in high school just so people would leave me alone, and it ended catastrophically. Yes, being gay may be difficult for us, but it doesn't mean we should put someone else through the misery of a relationship where you can never reciprocate feelings. If you date a girl who likes you, then they're likely to put everything they have into your "relationship," and therefore lose so much when you're not able to give anything back. That can take a huge toll on somebody's self confidence.

    Rumors about your sexuality will likely be thrown around. It's something that we all have to unfortunately deal with, but just remember that you have no obligations to tell anybody anything until you're ready. If you're out to anybody, they can be an excellent resource to confide in and help deal with those rumors, but NEVER date somebody that you know you can never love in a romantic way.
     
  11. summersforecast

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    I want to thank the members of emptyclosets for the the great advice special shout out to Psychedelic Bookmarks, Steve(which is not his real name)..., and trumpetplyer.
     
  12. Steve

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    not telling you my name .. over here my name is steve so learn it xD
     
  13. summersforecast

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    I learned it by now Steve It's not like I was asking for a whole name. and by the way soap ophras and Spanish rule all! oh and death to elves!