Questionnaire

[/B]When did you know you were gay?

Vague suspicions when I was 17, pretty sure when I was 19, positive when I was 21.

What did you feel upon knowing?

More confused than anything. I felt it should've somehow been more obvious to me.

What compelled you to come out?

The fact that I knew, and the fact that I don't hide things from my friends and family.

When did you decide to come out?

Pretty much once I was positive. So when I was 21 or so.

Who are you out to?

Everybody. Friends, family, co-workers. Most people I meet find out fairly quickly, although I don't make it part of my introduction.

How difficult was it to come out?

Not very. As I said, I have lots of supportive people in my life. I was a bit worried about my parents, who are both quite religious, but they were great.

How old were you when you came out?

Started at age 21, pretty much done by the time I was 22.

How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?

Mild to modest surprise. Nobody reacted negatively or got angry or anything.

Are you glad you came out?

Definitely.

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?

"Yes." If I was in a dangerous place - say a large crowd of homophobic people were there - I might deflect it more. "Why - are you trying to find someone for the night?"

Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?

Definitely nature. I think, due to nurture, it can be "stunted", but I think it's started biologically. We may in fact one day "cure" it, should we decide to.

How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?

It was just another piece of the puzzle. Instead of learning to love the geeky, music-fiendish gargoyle, I had to learn to love the geeky, music-fiendish gay gargoyle.

Have you ever self harmed?

Yes, but not in the standard ways, I don't think. When I got really frustrated, I used to punch walls or kick the doorway, and on occasion, I'd put a rubber band around my wrist and "snap" it. Never did any cutting or anything like that.

Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?

No. Being gay really hasn't presented much problem for me.

Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?

Not in major ways. Yeah, it'd be nice to be married rather than "partnered". But I honestly don't feel like a second-class citizen. I think each...well, not even "generation". But if you polled all the 17-year-olds, and 19-year-olds, and 25-year-olds, and every other age, it seems the younger you go, the more accepting people are. So eventually, we'll have a lot more accepting people as adults than we do now, and I think things well right themselves ten.

Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?

Tough to say. The resources are there. The real problem is getting them to those who need it. Those who seek help from EC or PFLAG or anywhere else tend to get help. But many don't take that step. And it's hard to force people to do that - they really do need to make that move.

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?

Anyone want to clean my office?

Lex

 

When did you know you were gay?
Due to a long period of avoidance, sometime this spring/summer.



What did you feel upon knowing?
Great, one more thing to deal with.


What compelled you to come out?
To my friend- she wanted to go out with me. To my parents- the question was asked by my therapist.


When did you decide to come out?
This past month.


Who are you out to?
My parents, one of my brothers, and a friend.


How difficult was it to come out?
Not very, so far.



How old were you when you came out?
15


How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?
All supportive.



Are you glad you came out?
Yes, I really just want to come out to everyone now.


If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?
Right now, I'd ask, "What's it to you?" When I come out to everyone, I'd smile and say "Yep."


Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?
I don't know. Maybe both, maybe just nature.


How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?
The internet let me be myself, and I realized that this is who I am and how much easier it is on me than to pretend.



Have you ever self harmed?
No, and I never will, including suicide.



Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?
Not exclusively because of being gay, but yes.


Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?
Not that i can think of.



Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?
I really have no idea. Probably not, especially in small towns.


If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?
I'd have someone come out for me so I don't have to deal with the initial reaction. Realistically, I'd want more education about LGBT people in school to hopefully negate some of that abundant ignorance out there.

 

When did you know you were gay?
When I was about 14/15 I guess

What did you feel upon knowing?
Well if I'm honest my thought train was something like, "I think I'm gay... no im not... yes i am... no im not... wow he's hot... ok yes i am." It didn't change what i thouht of myself really

What compelled you to come out?
When I got annoyed at a little idiot person or insulting homosexuals

When did you decide to come out?
Well I came out twice really, I didn't really decide to either it just happened

Who are you out to?
Everyone

How difficult was it to come out?
OOne on one VERY VERY hard, although both of my mass coming outs were quite easy if im honest

How old were you when you came out?
16

How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?
"OMG, really?... *scream* aww thats sooooooo cute"

Are you glad you came out?
Yes

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?
Yes, everytime I dont like lying about who i am

Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?
A bit of both if i'm honest

How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?
I didn't really

Have you ever self harmed?
Not cnciously but I have when I'm not in controll

Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay? / Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?
not really I allways think that im a normal person and if someone else don't like it, well screw them

Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?
You can never have too much so no

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?
Money lol, seriously though right now thats what i need most

 

When did you know you were gay?
Thought I was bi from the time I was about 16, was sure that I was gay at 21.

What did you feel upon knowing?
Absolutely terrified.

What compelled you to come out?
Not wanting to be keeping huge secrets from my friends.

When did you decide to come out?
When I was 19-20ish, and people were starting to ask questions. I came out to my best friend shortly after a Metallica gig, on June 25, 2004.

Who are you out to?
Pretty much everyone except my family.

How difficult was it to come out?
Coming out to my friends wasn't too bad, as almost all of them were very accepting. I did however lose one friend over it - but the way I see that is that if he can't handle me for who I am, he doesn't deserve to be part of my life.

How old were you when you came out?
19 and extremely drunk the first time (but I don't think anyone believed me), 20 when I came out properly to friends.

How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?
"Yeah, we kinda guessed"

Are you glad you came out?
Yup - I'm glad I'm not hiding anything from my friends. I'm still not out to my family though, and I'm still trying to decide when I'm going to do that. I need to be able to live rent-free at home for another 6 months while I finish my degree, though I'm kicking around ideas of either New Year's Day '09 or my 25th birthday in June '09 as possible times for coming out to them.

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?
I'd be honest, and if they said anything back to me about it they'd better be ready for a verbal barrage.

Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?
Nature. I didn't choose this.

How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?
It took a long time. I've had issues with depression and MMO addiction (I've really struggled at times in college due to depression) as I really did struggle to accept myself for who I am.

Have you ever self harmed?
No.

Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?
Definitely, it's happened from very random things, but it's happened.

Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?
Not really.

Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?
Not in Ireland anyway - BeLonG To does trojan work for LGBT youth in Dublin, but outside of Dublin there's really not as much anywhere else.

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?
Give me the answer key to my AI for Games and Puzzles final and I'll love you forever! Really though, I'm not sure what could really be done in particular to help me.

 

When did you know you were gay?

When I as 17.


What did you feel upon knowing?
I felt pretty scared and didnt except it for a year or so...


What compelled you to come out?
I wanted it to be something people knew about me, I was tired of hiding it.





When did you decide to come out?

When I met my first girlfriend.


Who are you out to?
Everyone now



How difficult was it to come out?
I felt like the build up was pretty big, but once it was over, It was a better experience than hiding it.




How old were you when you came out?
19



How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?

Pretty shocked but very supportive


Are you glad you came out?

YES!!!

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?
Yea, why would you lie just to make someone stay in their comfort zone. No one is going to tell me what i believe is wrong, and if they try to, then I ahve no reason to be talking to them.


Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?

nurture.


How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?

I had to look at the reasons why i wasn't accepting myself.. once I realized it was just because I worried what others thought. It was easier over time and with age, to tell myself it didn't matter. I am who I am.


Have you ever self harmed?

wtf. no.


Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?
negative.


Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?

nope. except prop 8


Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?
i think its getting better, and will get better in the coming future. As long as it continues to improve, im happy with that.


If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?
i dont have a good answer for that one.

 

When did you know you were gay?
well i knew since i was about11 i guess, looking at gay porn and whatnot... but i only accepted it this april

What did you feel upon knowing?
Originally absolutely awful, really terrible, but also it was good coz a lot of thing started to make sense to me.

What compelled you to come out?
I knew that right after i accepted it myself that i couldnt live without telling anyonre. i was also terrified of living a complete lie.

When did you decide to come out?
April about a week after i accepted myself

Who are you out to?
quite few people, close friends from high school, two friends from primary, people i've met through friends im already out to, most of my friend families, my brother and my parents.


How difficult was it to come out?
well it felt really difficult, but i prbably had iteasy. /
the first two times involved me crying a lot but since then it has been relatively ok, i havent cried since telling my parents, which was also in april


How old were you when you came out?
13


How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?
everyone has been supportive, my family was a little shocked, i dont really talk about it with my brotherbut apart from that the support has been amazingg


Are you glad you came out?
Yes, i am, very


If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?
This has happened to me, mostly i just dodge the question.


Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?
probably nature, theres a reason i was only friends with girls in kindergarten methinks


How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?
i learnt to accept myself because i had a wonderful girlfriend at the time who i love still (though not sexually, im out to her, we are now best friends) but i realised that i wasnt actually sexually interested in her, this made me cry for her as well as myself.



Have you ever self harmed?
i have tried to scratch my legs with scissors and just generally fingernails a lot before i came out, nothign seriouthough, just lots and lots of red scratches.
and though i thought i should die sometimes, i would never have actually done anything.




Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?
yes


Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?
umm not really.


Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?
well there is a decent amount round for me , but in general no i dont think so

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?
really honestly and rather selfishly it would be to get a boyfriend, thats probably the only thing that would make me come out ot my sister and famly friends.

 

When did you know you were gay?
I realized I was bi when I read a book in which a character was bi. It got me thinking...for about a week. Then I decided that I was bi.

What did you feel upon knowing?
I felt a tad bit surprised, but other than that I was comfortable with it.

What compelled you to come out?
I just couldn't hold it in.

When did you decide to come out?
I came out a couple days after I decided I was bi. I wanted to tell my best friend.

Who are you out to?
I'm out to most of my school friends, camp friends, everyone who bothers to look on Facebook, or read my status updates, my parents, my sister, my aunt.

How difficult was it to come out?
The hardest people to come out to were my parents. I left a letter and freaked out the whole day. Everyone else was pretty much fine. I was nervous, but it wasn't too bad.

How old were you when you came out?
I was 16.

How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?
Everyone took it fine.

Are you glad you came out?
I am most definitely glad.

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?
I would tell the truth. Let them come.

Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?
Nature.

How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?
I didn't have any difficulties.

Have you ever self harmed?
Not really. I've been upset a couple of times and hit myself. I do however have trichotillomania to a degree. I don't know if that counts.

Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?
No.

Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?
No.

Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?
I think that schools need to address it more. Also, I think that if someone doesn't have the Internet, it becomes exponentially worse.

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?
I'd want my church to address it. That's all. I know that they're accepting, but I think it should be addressed. Everything else is, even if it's known.

 

When did you know you were gay?
Well, I sort of knew in the back of my mind that I liked boys at the beginning of puberty, but my full realization that I was gay happened when I was 16.

What did you feel upon knowing?
"So I guess I don't like girls, huh.... damn." (This revelation happened at a dance, during which this really hot girl asked to dance with me and then made out with me... and I felt absolutely nothing.)

What compelled you to come out?
I have a very difficult time lying. I'm an open book as it is, so when people ask me questions I like being able to answer them as honestly as I can.

When did you decide to come out?
As bi, to my closest friends: beginning of sophomore year (high school).
As gay, to my closest friends: end of sophomore year.
As gay, to my parents: end of sophomore year.
As gay, to everyone else: right before the beginning of junior year.

Who are you out to?
Everyone, except I'm not sure if my grandparents and other extended family members know.

How difficult was it to come out?
Telling my parents was difficult, but they were supportive. Same with my friends. I live in a very liberal town, and I knew deep down that things wouldn't really change. I'm really lucky in that sense.

How old were you when you came out?
To everyone? 17.

How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?
A lot of people were surprised. My mom thought that I was still dating girls, so she was especially surprised. In general, my attitude toward life and interactions with people didn't change, so people just acted the same around me. The best was when people started to make gay jokes around me, because that said to me that they were comfortable with me.

Are you glad you came out?
Absolutely. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I weren't out.

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?
It depends on the circumstance. If I was alone, cornered in a dark alley, and said person has a baseball bat, then I'd say no. But in pretty much any other case, I'd say yes. If someone else has a problem, even if I respect hir otherwise, ze can go fuck hirself.

Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?
Both.

How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?
Honestly, time taught me to accept myself. I can't think of anything that I can add to that.

Have you ever self harmed?
Never.

Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?
Yes.

Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?
By society, sure. I actually recently freaked out because of a revelation I had. I was sitting with my friend Crystal, cuddling on the couch while my brother and his friend were playing pool. And I realized that that particular situation will always be weird with a guy, in front of other people... it'll just be weird. So in that sense, yes, I feel like society is unfair for gay people based on the general attitude of the majority of people I know.

Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?
Depends on the area. In my area, yeah.

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?
If someone could reassure me that I'll eventually meet someone and that I won't be alone for all my life, that'd be nice.

 

When did you know you were gay?
When I was about 15 I started wondering admitted it in the year so still 15

What did you feel upon knowing?

It all made perfect sense and explained why I was never interested in guys, it just felt right and I never had a problem with it then.

What compelled you to come out?

I was outed to my friends - the one person I told was this other mate who was gay i thought he would be good to talk to but he just told everyone else.
To my parents - I was sick of being asked about boyfriends and stuff and having to lie about it. It all made me feel like crap.

When did you decide to come out?

Was outed to friends when I was still 15 and had only just realised it for myself.
Told parents four days after my 17th birthday.

Who are you out to?

Friends, guidance counselor at school, and parents.

How difficult was it to come out?

I had no choice with my mates apart from the one and that was mostly easy because he is gay too although I had to do it by text because I couldn't say it to his face.
Telling the guidance counselor because he told her too although she couldn't say she knew because of confidentiality stuff but all I had to do was confirm it.
Coming out to my parents was hell.

How old were you when you came out?

Started at 15 still not finished yet.

How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?

My mates were all awesome although really really shocked.
My parents were awful they were crying and yelling and disappointed and now they are ignoring that I ever came out to them at all, they are still sure it's just a phase and is going to change.

Are you glad you came out?

Friends = yes
Guidance counselor = yes it gives me someone to talk to
Parents = No

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?

It depends who it is if it is a member of my family then definitely not or someone I had to see every day then probably not but if they were just a stranger or someone I didn't have to spend so much time around then probably yes.

Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?

Nature, but whether of not we choose to accept it and be open about it a nurture.

How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?

I never really had any problems with that, it more me having problems with other people not being able to accept me namely my parents and I haven't learn't how to deal with that yet I still cry over it all the time.

Have you ever self harmed?

No - I've sometimes thought about it but I'm terrified of pain.

Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?

Yes. Not at the start but especially now everything would be so much easier if I was straight.

Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?

Yeah, lately it has really hit home how much I am missing out on but maybe not so much because I'm gay but because of my family which will never accept me. Ever since I have been little I have dreamed of the perfect wedding - now I can't get married and even if I do find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with my family is never going to be happy for me and I'm afraid that in general we will just have to appear to be just friends apart from behind closed doors. Plus if I wasn't gay I wouldn't have to go through the emotional hell I'm going through now.

Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?

The internet is great and there is lots of factual information and sites like EC which is awesome, but for where I live at least the actual face to face support is lousy there is just not and it makes me feel so alone all the time, I would just love to speak to someone face to face that understands it all.


If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?[/B]

^ As above be able to talk to someone face to face and maybe preferably make that another girl that's gay because I know a few guys but as far as I know I'm the only girl in my little corner of the world - the fact that I live in the middle of nowhere doesn't help.

What's this for any way????

 

When did you know you were gay?
fifth grade, when i started taking longer showers

What did you feel upon knowing?
"huh...okay." Then in 6th grade i felt like i was afflicted with something.Why me, why had this happened to me, why did i have to be gay? I was over it by the summer haha.


What compelled you to come out?
my mom and sister fighting. mom threateaned to through her out(not that she ever would) so i presented "a bigger problem" as i put it to myself by coming out to her. i was in 5th grade.

When did you decide to come out?
after my mom, the first person i told was a girl in jr.high because she wanted to go out with me. I was having none of that. when i started high school i was already 15 and in a new town and didn't know anyone so i figured i had nothing to lose by staying in the closet. if they asked, i told them. I came out to my sister and dad when i was 16. Then my aunt outed me to my dad's side after she found my MySpace. they're cool with it but i barely talk to them. My mom side doesn't ALL know, but i'm bringing my boyfriend over for christmas so if they didn't know already they will now.

Who are you out to?
Everyone, except I extended family members on my mother's side. I'm in a very high profile relationship at school now too so everyone knows. I'm not out to coworkers or anything, i keep it on a need-to-know-basis i geuss.


How difficult was it to come out?
to my family was hard, but everyone else i just had a very "if they don't want me, i don't want them" mentality. its not the first thing i say when i meet people.

How old were you when you came out?
11, then 13 i geuss. 15-to present has been my question and answer period with the exception of my mother's side and my dad and sister.

How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?
most were surprised. my mom asked if i knew what sex with a man felt like haha. my sister already knew pretty much(we're very close) my dad freaked, we still don't talk about my being gay.in junior high, nothing changed because i had no friends anyway. In high school, it gave me friends and confidence.

Are you glad you came out?
Absolutely. I'm more relaxed around people who know i'm gay. its funny but whenever i meet a new person(men really) for the first time i can feel myself go all Straight-ish and my voice gets lower lol. its not intentional it just happens.

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?
I've been in said situations, and stupidly, i said yes lol. if they were carrying some sort of implement of destruction and asked with a muderous look in their eye, i'd say no. Self-preservation is more important than Pride in my book.

Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?
i think there's a chemical balance in gay children/individuals that can either be cultivated by "gay" activities or it can be dismissed by "straight" activities. yuo're born with it in you, but what happens to you decides whether or not you live an open GBLTQ lifestyle.

How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?
I don't know. i just did. i was tired of not letting anyone in, not having any friends. and i liked how it felt to tell someone for the first time.

Have you ever self harmed?
No. My body is a temple, and i am the gate keeper and the groundsman.

Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?
sometimes, but its nothing that couldn't be solved by thinking things through.

Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?
Actually no. maybe i'm just not noticing it but honestly, nobody has ever called me a name(to my face) or beat me or anything like that. People stare at me anyways,i have somewhat of an eye-catching wardrobe haha, whats the difference if they stare at me alone or with my boyfriend?

Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?
Depends on the area. In my area there is.

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?
If i could be assured the same rights that my parents had when they fell in love, got married, bought a house, and had kids. Or that my boyfriend wont be beaten to death for being an out-spoken-gay-pagan when he goes away for school i Louisiana...either of those would be great.

 

When did you know you were gay?
when i was 13

What did you feel upon knowing?
i was kinda happy to finally know whay i felt how i did

What compelled you to come out?
i thought it would be best for me to not hide who i am so i could just get on with my life

When did you decide to come out?
to 1 person two weeks after and everyone else just over a year ago

Who are you out to?
to all but most of the residents at the retirement village that i work in. ya know what elderly can be like

How difficult was it to come out?
hard at first but now i do it all the time if someone asks me

How old were you when you came out?
13 to the first person and 17 to everyone else


How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?
those who are my friends and family are fine with it while all the people i know, who i have to know a complete jerks


Are you glad you came out?
hell yeah, life has been so great since. lots of fun times, gay ball, started a gay group and have met amazing people


If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?
hell yeah. i don't care if they are phobes or not. i always answer truthfully.


Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?
nature.


How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?
i was fine with it.


Have you ever self harmed?
never.


Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?
yes. i have gotten so much crap for being gay and i have had people speed up at me and just miss me on crossings and had stuff thrown out car windows at me


Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?
heaps


Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?
not really. in my town we have two groups, both started in the last year and a half.


If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?
to be honest i wouldn't really want more help. it leaves a good feeling doing what i can in my town to help other queer people

 

When did you know you were gay?
i was about 13 when i started looking at girls as well as guys!

What did you feel upon knowing?
i was scared what i would do!

What compelled you to come out?
knowing that i couldnt hide who i am as much as i tired, it makes me no different!!

When did you decide to come out?
well i had it easy really my friends an most of my family all just guessed i was bi an just excepted it!

Who are you out to?
everyone

How difficult was it to come out?
my mum took it really badly, but she is ok now well tries to be!

How old were you when you came out?
15!

How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?
prertty much cool, everyone told me it doesnt change who i am as a person! all my friends stood by me an i love them for that!

Are you glad you came out?
yeah its awesome

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?
yes i am an im proud about it an if u cant except that then ur not worth my time!

Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?
natural i think, its just what feels right!

How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?
im easy goin i just go with the flow an brush most things off!

Have you ever self harmed?
never!

Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?
no i enjoy it! its a rush!

Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?
nope

Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?
i dont think where i live even has one

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?
to have more LGB friends to chat to an meet!

LIS x|X|x

 

When did you know you were gay?

12 I first had the thought. But properly, 23

What did you feel upon knowing?

Fear, relief, certainty, elation. Everything made sense.

What compelled you to come out?

I came out immediately to a friend because she has experience of these things. I basically got to an age and a point when I could cope with it

When did you decide to come out?

Almost immediately to some friends, but otherwise I see it as a gradual process. Once out to myself, I didn't ever envision myself *not* coming out eventually

Who are you out to?

My best friend, about 20-odd friends, one relative.


How difficult was it to come out?

Sometimes very, very difficult.


How old were you when you came out?

First time: 23. Not fully out yet


How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?

The majority have been supportive - one very negative reaction


Are you glad you came out?

So far, yes

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?

I'd probably tell them it's none of their business


Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?

Mostly nature, but either way, a person cannot help it


How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?

I just got older really. I've had - and am still having - great difficulties accepting myself


Have you ever self harmed?

Yes - but not for being-gay reasons


Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?

Yes. But it's more because there are other things going on too

Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?

Well, in that I can't just be myself

Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?

It's getting better I think.

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?

I just want to be OK with this!

 

When did you know you were gay?

Well, I knew I liked girls to some degree by age 13. By 15, I knew I was gay.


What did you feel upon knowing?

I felt content, finally knowing what it was I'd been feeling all my life. A bit scared, because it meant my life would be that much harder - but mostly happy.

What compelled you to come out?

Well, I'm not fully out yet, but I'm almost there. And I came out to everyone i'm out to now because I was sick of lying to them and telling them half - truths about myself, I thought they deserved to know.


When did you decide to come out?

To the first person, when I was 14, so 2006.


Who are you out to?

My mom, my sister, about 16 friends.


How difficult was it to come out?

The fisrt time it was relatively easy - she had just told me she was bisexual. My sister is bi too, so telling her was easy. Telling my best friend was the hardest. My friends will be the hardest part - there's always that awkwardness that you can't tell if they will get over.


How old were you when you came out?


I'm not totally out yet, but I predict i'll be 17.


How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?

Either 'Wow...REALLY?!' or 'Oh, ok. Cool.' So far. *crosses fingers*


Are you glad you came out?

Yeah, it gave me a huge sense of releif. When I'm totally out I think i'll be happy.

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?

'What do you think?' And then, depending on their answer, I'd either say yes or walk away.

Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?

Nature, definately. It can't be changed.


How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?

I never really had difficulties, I've always been an accepting person and my mom is the same so accepting myself was easy - I'm attracted to women, and that's all there really is to it.


Have you ever self harmed?

Yes. But it's been almost a year now since I have.

Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?

Oh, yes. Definately. That's part of why I self harmed. The pressure of having to come out, having to deal with everything was huge. (The other part was personal loss stuff.)

Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?

Mhmm, by my grandparents. They don't know yet, but they constantly make stupid comments. And by people at school - too many of them think being gay is disgusting.

Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?

It depends on where you live. Some places have alot, and some have none. Where I live, there's nothing except the internet.

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?

To help me? I'd want a LGBT youth group somewhere near me, so I could feel accepted somewhere, and could have somewhere to actually connect with other gay teens.

 

When did you know you were gay?

Very early on. I mean, even middle school kids can develop little crushes, and I had various nagging thoughts from about 9 onwards. I've always known, but when put in the school system you suddenly realise that it's different and different is seen as wrong. I denied it until I was about 13.

What did you feel upon knowing?

Like I said, at 13, it wasn't exactly that I suddenly knew; like I said, I always had some inklings that I was different. More that I put the pieces together and kinda thought "Well, that's it, you're a lesbian, it took you so long to admit it, but you are." And after that, I kinda allowed myself to fantasize and stuff, what I call being an internal lesbian, but nobody could know. Yeah, I struck a deal with myself.

What compelled you to come out?

First one was totally out of the blue, it was a spur of the moment, accidental slip; "Nah, I don't like boys, I like girls instead." It was a slip of the tongue, and I was horrified with myself, until they started asking me what girls I liked instead. I'll admit, that was what compelled me to come out to others, and it was okay with friends, and then very awkward with family. Then I didn't come out to anyone else for a couple of years after that, it was a bit of a blow.

When did you decide to come out?

Like I said, I didn't decide, it just happened. And I'm so glad it did.

Who are you out to?

Mostly everyone, there's a few that I haven't had chance to tell, but other than that, everybody knows. Including my art teacher!

How difficult was it to come out?

First one just happened, to friends it was easy because they kinda just said "Yeah, we know", family wasn't exactly hard, seeing as my sister outed me to both my parents; it was awkward around them for a while after though. Others, like my grandma took me a while to gather the courage to tell her, but I did it after I promised I would tell her the next time she asked "so have you got a boyfriend yet?". And I did . Other times, I have just waited for the right oppurtunity and got on with it. If they don't like it, I think it's their loss. It's the attitude I take with all my coming outs now.


How old were you when you came out?

I was 14.

How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?

"Yeah, we kinda guessed."

that or:

*eyes widen* "Well, okay.... I guess."

And even the once;

"Brilliant! So your artwork on homophobia will be very personal to you!"

Are you glad you came out?

Yes, I wasn't happy at all in the closet; I have room to stretch my legs out here.

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?

I would say "Yeah, I am". Like I said, if they don't like it, it's their loss. I know it sounds arrogant, but homophobes aren't worthy of my time.

Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?

Nature. I've never been straight at all. And my parents raised my sister straight, so it's obvious that it's not their parenting methods.

How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?

Hmmm, that's a toughie. I guess I didn't really accept myself until after my first coming out. I had acknowledged it and allowed myself to fantasize, but I never really accepted it in myself until I felt normal, which is what the first coming out gave me. It then took a while, but I had to reaccept it.

Have you ever self harmed?

Still got the scars on my shoulders. I guess in a way they remind me that closets are dark, lonely places. I want to get a tattoo to cover them though.

Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?

I used to hate myself, and believe that I was a freak. My sister would not rest with snide comments, and my parents didn't want to talk about it. I did, and due to lack of communication, I kinda went back in the closet, and didn't talk to anyone about it. I mean, as well as self harming I could drink myself silly and smoke around 20 cigarettes a day just to try and stop thinking about how my family couldn't look me in the eye anymore. Then after my friend got their stomach pumped, I had a bit of a wake up call and made myself talk to them and get out of my self pity. It's eased up a hundred-fold since then, and I discovered EC and my LGBT youth group. I never feel way over my head anymore.

Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?

I used to get bullied, but that's over now. It's more just random folks calling names and such. And my sister never fails to tell me how she wishes I was "normal".


Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?

Probably. The trouble is actually getting info out to youth. I had to stake out my LGBT youth group, when groups and organisations should be available in schools and places where youths can see it.

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?

I don't really need help. As someone who has parents who back me up, and about 70% of people aware and okay with my sexuality, there are a lot worse off than me who could use a helping hand. Maybe just a brain-washing DVD for my sister though would be nice

 

When did you know you were gay?

Sex ED in grade 6. There were the standard diagrams of naked men and women and I knew then I was attracted to guys.


What did you feel upon knowing?

I honestly don't remember, but I think it wasn't particularly disturbing.


What compelled you to come out?

Well the time between when I knew I was gay and the time I came out was about 2 or 3 years and I'd been considering it for a significant portion of year 7 and 8, but when I offended a gay couple with too much staring, I decided to come out to my closest friends.


When did you decide to come out?

Well I came out on the 12th of December, 2007, which was the day after I offended that couple. I still have the email.


Who are you out to?

Most of my friends, family and some other randoms, who I've told on a whim. I'm not particularly good with consistency of telling people though. Some of my closer friends don't know, while basically the entire marching band knows, who most of them aren't my close friends.


How difficult was it to come out?

Well for me, not particularly difficult, all of my friends have been ok with it. I was hoping to have at least one dispute about it.


How old were you when you came out?

15


How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?

EVERYONE was ok with it, even my Jehovah's Witness friend. It kind of irritated me a little, but better than everyone hating me for it.


Are you glad you came out?

Definitely yes, it's a weight off my shoulders.

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?

Depending on the person, I would probably answer yes. If I disliked them because they irritated me, almost definitely yes. If I disliked them because I was some what scared of them, I'd have second thoughts, but if I liked them, I guess I'd have to be open to them about it.


Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?

NATURE NATURE NATURE NATURE NATURE! Nurture does determine how much you repress it though.


How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?

Nope, no real difficulties here.


Have you ever self harmed?

Nope, never. I've never been in a position where I felt self-harm would make me feel better really.


Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?

Hmmm, not really. I've always been around pretty accepting people.


Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?

Same answer as the previous question I think will suffice.


Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?

Well, there could always be more, but you really need to seek it out. There's a queer youth group in my area and Minus as well and the school Student Wellbeing Person is gay friendly, which is good.


If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?

The GSA movement to spread to Australia, although I think one of the other gay guys at my school is trying to start one up.

 

When did you know you were gay?
i guess ive always known i was different to alo of people i always from a young age never looked at women the same way others did, first time i actually knew i had feelings for guys was when i started college and met my best friend and had feelings for him from like 3 seconds after meeting him.


What did you feel upon knowing?
confusion, i had no idea what these feelings were i just knew i cared for my best friend far too much for that of a straight guy, this frightened me and i went into denial and tryd several relationships with women but they ended up hurting me and i realised i may love a woman for herself but as a couple were just not compatable, the feeling of hurt when betrayed in the relationship was due to pride not feelings for the person so i have accepted myself now.


What compelled you to come out?
well i realised i am who i am and the world needs to accept that, i also realised i ow it to myself and others to be honest where i can especially with friends otherwise it makes a lie of that friendship if they dont know the real you. im sick of hiding myself to afraid of others hateing me or leaveing because they dont agree with my life so i just want to tell people then move on


When did you decide to come out?
after i accepted to myself this is who i was i decided what the hell just tell them if its theyre problem its not my fault.. small minded humans :| meeting other gay guys in my city helped loads though as i no longer had to hide who i was and i no longer felt alone as i had always to a point felt alone in the world lol


Who are you out to?
a few friends online people in city and now anyone who asks. still working on best mate possibly this weekend though and family well... maybe sometime.


How difficult was it to come out?
to online friends was easy i have the safety blanket of internet... people in city its a bit nerve wracking incase they know me farther and me and i just cant remember them :S best mate ive been having nightmares for years now... family... i dont fancy living on the street so it can wait


How old were you when you came out?
well i suppose 18 when i realised feelings 19 i experimented a little... got to make sure of these things 20 ive started telling people im me like it or lump it i just dont care


How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?
internet friends were happy supportive, people i met were just like... and ? no big deal thats fine by me lol.. best mate i think will say fine but will distance us alot i fear family i aint even going there.


Are you glad you came out?
of course i am now comfortable with myself i dont need to worry anymore about myself, just family and friends but if they love me im hopeing they will accept me.


If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?
id answer like i always do... im just me ... if your offering im sorry ...but you can buy me a drink .... that fails he says anything i can always lay him out simples


Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?
both, you have to be born with the abbility to love male like female but you must also be brought up an enviroment that supports those feelings and not just the home but the surrounding world the culture, allthough you wil still naturally get feelings for same sex even in a bad environment if is alot harder when not nurtured.


How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?
i realised i am who i am and it doesent define me those who act as such are just small insignificant beeings. meeting others also help me realise im not alone with my feelings allthough i have many other issues that make me different to others which i enjoy.


Have you ever self harmed?
once or twice nothing major sometimes feeling anything even pain can be good thing.


Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?
whenever im with friends or family im on edge wary of every action or thought, but im the same around anyone.


Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?
yes i do feel odd in society where male/female relation is thrown at me and a family and friends who always talk about women and not very accepting of lgbt people i also fear prejudice in the wider world too


Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?
well i dont really know of any support in my city closest i got is this great guy doing a site dedicated too lgbt and the local lgbt pub.... but thats not really a support forum, its why Ec and people ive met have been so helpfull


If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?
hmm make me thin? lol ok miracles dont happen ... just make it so my family dont care... hmm maye same prob again... can i just have a cup of tea and a hug then please?

 

When did you know you were gay?

It was around the summer holidays when I was 12. I started having romantic fantasies about some boys I knew


What did you feel upon knowing?

Confused I think. I kept trying to have thoughts about girls but it just didnt' work


What compelled you to come out?

I felt I had no other choice. My best friend was pissed off with me cause I kept turning down a girl he was setting me up with. I had to tell him, then I told my other best friend cause he knew something was up


When did you decide to come out?

I first came out on the 3rd of February 2007. Of course I knew I'd decided I had to come out a few years before that, just never had the guts to do so


Who are you out to?

Only my 2 best friends, and the girl I didn't go out with. It's possible my flatmate knows because I may have told a friend of his at a party (but I was drunk so I'm not sure). And I'm sure my sister knows but I haven't admitted it to her yet. I know she knows, and she knows I know she knows


How difficult was it to come out?

Absolutely horrible experience, I did it the wimpy way by text and didn't get a response til the next day. Very painful


How old were you when you came out?

20


How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?

'Yeah, whatever' I think was their general reaction. They didn't really want to talk about it, and I didn't want to force the issue.


Are you glad you came out?

Absolutely yes, I couldn't live that lie anymore, not to my friends. I just wish I came out a different way, on my own terms, but I just didn't have the courage. Perhaps if I had a better experience I could be more open about it now and maybe I could tell some more people

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?

I'd hope I'd say yes. While I do tend to try and avoid confrontation, but I definitely would not tolerate a homophobic attitude. I've lied in the past but I hope I'm now at a place where I would just be honest

Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?

Nature definitely. My identical twin is straight if that helps

How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?

Endless hours during my days and nights over the last 10 years where i agonise about my life and why am I gay, who should i tell, how should i tell. Eventually you get to the stage where you're tired of worrying and just accept it. I pretended to be straight in High School and really tried to like girls (almost succeeding in a couple of instances), but you do get to the stage where you're getting closer to the girl but you know deep down you're gay, you have to break it off. I've actually lost a lot of friends because I've pushed them away to hide my secret.

Have you ever self harmed?

Not exactly self harmed. I've attempted suicide before, which was a scary experience and one I learnt a lot from - it stopped me from trying anything like that again

Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?

Yes. I don't know how to be gay, and I think it's stumped me socially. I've always felt like an alien, all my friends are straight so I've never encountered anyone else that's gay. I have trouble in some social situations because I don't know how to act, the gay thing is always on my mind. I've felt like it's a huge burden to bear

Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?

As I said, I feel like an outsider among my friends, and agonise a lot in social situations. I've made myself quite lonely, it would have been easier had I been straight, but then again, I wouldn't be who I am. Life would be a bit dull if everything was that easy

Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?

Yes and no. I've had trouble finding support (besides this awesome website) in my area, but that must be because I've been a bit of a wimp and haven't looked hard enough. I now know of a couple of groups in my area, but no idea how supportive they are.

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?
I'd like an easy to access local group (because the ones I've contacted haven't been too helpful.)

My hopes are I'd meet someone who knows I'm gay and is willing to talk to me about it, help me find the courage to tell my friends and family and just be open about who I am. I'd like a bit of a safety net before telling people, and I don't have that right now. I just want all this crap out of the way so I can get on with my life.

 

When did you know you were gay?


Began to get suspicions at about 16. By the age of 22 or so I was pretty sure. At 24 I knew.

What did you feel upon knowing?

I was extremely depressed.

What compelled you to come out?

I got tired of stressing about it, and I wanted to start dating so when I found out one of my best friends was moving I decided to tell him before he left.

When did you decide to come out?

Last week in a series of one on one conversations with my friends and family.

Who are you out to?

Friends, and family, and anyone they may tell etc. I may not advertise, but I'll be honest with anyone that asks.

How difficult was it to come out?

Extremely, I wracked and stressed about it all day and it took me a bit to finally spit it out. However, after I finally got the words out there it became extremely easy as all my friends and family were great, and admitting it each time got a little easier and easier.

How old were you when you came out?


26

How was the majority's reaction upon telling them?

Everyone was great and happy for me, albeit a few of them were a little surprised and taken aback.

Are you glad you came out?

Extremely! I'm happier than I've been in a long time, and I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from me.

If approached by someone you presumed was homophobic and they asked if you were gay, truthfully, what would be the answer?

I'd want to believe I'd be honest, but I didn't feel like I wanted to deal with the conflict at the time I'd probably tell them that it was none of their business.

Do you think homosexuality is nature or nurture?

I tend to lean more towards the nature side with homosexuality and attribute it mostly to genetics. That said, there are likely nurture factors that are involved too.

How did you learn to accept yourself if you had difficulties doing so?

Support from gay friends I had confided in, and finally just coming to grips with it myself. It took a while of admitting it to myself everyday, but that helped too.

Have you ever self harmed?

No.

Have you ever felt in over your head due to being gay?

Yes, but I've felt in over my head just being human sometimes.

Have you ever felt penalised for being gay?

That's a tough question. At times yes, but on the other hand I haven't really been open enough with it to really experience that.

Do you think there is enough support for the LGBT youth community?

Yes and no.

If something could be done to help you, what would you want it to be?

You could get me health insurance or a better job heheh, but yeah I would need to think about this a lot. I don't think the question is specific enough admittedly.