Google Translator

English: That one armed, semi gay, transgender kid is a boss.
Croatian: To je jedan naoružani, gejevi, transrodne klinac je šef.
Icelandic: Það er vopnuð, gay, stjóri kynskiptingar krakki.
Igbo: Ọ bụ na njikere, nwoke nwere mmasị nwoke, transgender nwa ewu onyeisi.
Danish: Det er på vagt, homoseksuelle, transseksuelle kid hoved.
English:
It is wary, gay, transgender kid's head.
Lol. This is kinda accurate lol. I am wary

 

English: Wonder what the price of that will be.
Urdu: حیرت ہے کہ کی قیمت کیا ہو گی.
Kurdish: Gelo dê bibe price.
Korean: 무슨 가격이 될 것입니다.
Japanese: どんな価格になります。
Myanmar: ဒါဟာဘယ်အရာကိုစျေးနှုန်းဖြစ်လိမ့်မည်။
Hawaiian: Oia hoi ka mea a ke kumu kūʻai, e lilo.
Latin: Hoc erit pretium.
English: This will be the price.
It somehow managed to answer the first question while at the same time answering nothing.

 

I'm trying a long sentence, just to see if I can destroy Google translate with it xD


English: Sir, have you seen the large, white male, with a greasy moustache and this rainbow umbrella running by?
German: Herr, haben Sie das große, weiße Männchen mit einem fettigen Schnurrbart gesehen und dieser Regenbogenregenschirm, der vorbei läuft?
Vietnamese: Lạy Chúa, Chúa đã thấy, đàn ông da trắng lớn với một bộ ria mép nhờn và ô cầu vồng này chạy qua?
Punjabi: ਪ੍ਰਭੂ ਨੂੰ, ਤੁਹਾਨੂੰ ਦੇਖਿਆ ਹੈ, ਇੱਕ ਹੋੋਏ ਅਤੇ ਥਿੰਧਿਆਈ ਬਾਕਸ ਦੇ ਨਾਲ ਇੱਕ ਵੱਡੇ ਨੂੰ ਸਫੈਦ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਨੂੰ ਸਤਰੰਗੀ ਦੁਆਰਾ ਚੱਲਦਾ?
Corsican: Signore, chì vo avete vistu, carattirizzata di na gran omu biancu arcubalenu, cu na granni baffi e scatula grassa?
Filipino: Panginoon, iyong nakita, nailalarawan sa pamamagitan ng isang mahusay na tao puti bahaghari na may isang malaking bigote at may langis box?
Yiddish:האר, דו האָסט געזען, קעראַקטערייזד דורך אַ גרויס ווייַס רעגנבויגן מענטש מיט אַ גרויס וואָנצעס און ייליק קאַסטן?
Chinese (easy): 主啊，你所看见的，其特点是一个白色的大彩虹男子与一个大胡子和油性箱？
French: Seigneur, ah, vous voyez, qui se caractérise par un grand homme barbu blanc avec un arc en ciel et le réservoir d'huile?
Norwegian: Herre, ah, ser du, som er preget av en stor hvit skjeggete mann med en regnbue og oljetanken ?
Hindi: हे प्रभु, आह, आप देखते हैं, जो एक इंद्रधनुष और तेल टैंक के साथ एक बड़े सफेद दाढ़ी वाले आदमी के द्वारा होती है?
Swahili: Bwana, ah, unaweza kuona, na upinde wa mvua na tank mafuta ni sifa kwa kubwa nyeupe-Bearded mtu?
Scottish: Tighearna, ah, tha thu 'faicinn, a' bhogha-froise agus an tanca connaidh air a chomharrachadh le mòr geal-feusagach duine?
Japanese: 主は、ああ、あなたが見る、虹と燃料タンクは、大きな白いひげを生やした男とマークされていますか？
English: Lord, Oh, you see, is the rainbow and fuel tank marked as a big white bearded man?
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

 

English: She would have been happy to win second place, but instead, to everybody's surprise, she won first place and now has bragging rights with the shiny new trophy

German: Sie wäre glücklich gewesen, den zweiten Platz zu gewinnen, aber stattdessen, zu jedermanns Überraschung, gewann sie den ersten Platz und hat nun prahlende Rechte mit der glänzenden neuen Trophäe

Albanian: Ata do të kishin qenë të lumtur për të fituar vendin e dytë, por në vend të kësaj, për habinë e të gjithëve, ajo fitoi vendin e parë dhe tani ka të drejtat e bragging me trofeun e re me shkëlqim

Polish: Byliby szczęśliwi, aby wygrać drugie miejsce, ale zamiast tego, ku zaskoczeniu wszystkich, zdobyła pierwsze miejsce i ma teraz chwalenie się praw z błyszczącą nowego trofeum

Thai: พวกเขาจะมีความสุขที่จะชนะที่สอง แต่ที่แปลกใจของทุกคนที่ได้รับรางวัลสถานที่แรกและตอนนี้มีสิทธิเป้อเย้อกับรางวัลใหม่เงา

Irish: Beidh siad sásta a bhuaigh an dara. Ach do gach duine iontas, a bhuaigh an chéad áit agus anois cearta bragging le trófaí nua lonracha.

English: They will be happy to win the second. But everyone surprise, won the first place and now bragging rights with a shiny new trophy.

Aw, shucks, I was hoping it'd get completely screwed up. But it still makes sense. At least Google Translate managed to be considerate of gender non-conforming individuals by using "they" instead of "she"

 

English: I'd like a drink. I desire to forget life.
French: Je voudrais un verre. Je désire oublier la vie.
German: Ich hätte gerne etwas zu trinken. Ich will das Leben zu vergessen.
Japanese: 飲み物を下さい。私は人生を忘れたいです。
Lao: ໃຫ້ຂ້າພະເຈົ້າດື່ມ. ຂ້າພະເຈົ້າຕ້ອງການໃຫ້ໂລກທີ່ຈະລືມ.
Russian: Я пью. Я хочу, чтобы мир забыл.
Irish: Ól mé. Ba mhaith liom an domhan a dearmad.
Italian: Ho bevuto. Voglio che il mondo da dimenticare.
Swedish: Jag drack. Jag vill att världen att glömma.
Polish: Piłem. Chcę, żeby świat się zapomnieć.
Albanian: Unë kam qenë duke pirë. Unë dua që bota të harrojë.
Spanish: He estado bebiendo. Quiero que el mundo olvide.
English: I've been drinking. I want the world to forget.

 

Original text: The only god I believe in is myself. I'd rather suffer a thousand deaths than bend the knee to somebody I don't respect. If Satan was real, then he'd be my bitch!

English > Lithuanian > Korean > Slovak > Swedish > Polish > Greek > English

New translated version: I believe in God. They will suffer thousands of deaths than occur and people of the joint. If Satan is real, and he wanted to be my bitch!

You know, this thread reminds me of yahoo babel fish translator Let's just say it used to produce some magnificent results

 

Original text: Here is the church and here is the steeple. We sure are cute for two ugly people.
Basque: Hemen eliza da eta hemen kanpandorrea da. Ziur bi pertsona itsusi cute gara.
Albanian: Këtu është kisha dhe këtu është kulla bell. Sigurt dy njerëz janë të bukur shëmtuar.
Japanese: ここでは教会はであり、ここで鐘楼です。二人は確かにかなり醜いです。
Bengali:
এখানে গির্জা, এখানে বেল টাওয়ারের হয়. দুটি মানুষ অবশ্যই একটি প্রশংসনীয় কুশ্রী.
Kurdish: Here li dêrê ye, li vir birca zengilê ye. Du kes di pretty kirêt.

Back to English: Here is the church, here is the bell tower. Two people in a pretty ugly.

...Welp, guys, this song is ruined for me. I'm just going to go bury myself now...

 

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!

Estonian > Czech > Spanish > Basque > Urdu > Greek > Arabic > Armenian > English

But soft! What light through the window there. It is the east and Juliet is the sun!

pretty close.

---------- Post added 2nd Dec 2016 at 08:49 PM ----------

Try no. 2 (this time pasting the new text in each time)

Isn't my bow tie cool?
¿No es mi pajarita cool?
Mənim sərin bow tie deyilmi?
আমার শীতল নম টাই, তাই নয় কি?
我的酷领结，不是吗？
Moja cool kravatu, zar ne?
အကြှနျုပျ၏အေးမြလည်စည်းကမဟုတ်လော
ทั้งผูกเย็นของฉัน
Mae'r clymu fy cŵl
The tie my cool

keep going:
El lligar la calma
Viri calm
bronnen kalm
Resources calm

further:
mga kapanguhaan kalma
ຊັບພະຍາກອນສະຫງົບ
রিসোর্স নিরাপত্তা
રિસોર્સ સુરક્ષા
resursu Drošība
burimet e sigurisë
джерела безпеки
Source of danger- the EXACT OPPOSITE OF before lol

 

I am waiting for a mad man with a blue box.
English - Afrikaans: Ek wag vir 'n mal man met 'n blou blokkie.
Afrikaans - Malayalam: ഞാൻ ഒരു നീല ബോക്സിൽ ഒരു ഭ്രാന്തൻ കാത്തിരിക്കുന്നു.
Malayalam - German: Ich bin mit einem blauen Kasten für ein verrückter Mann wartet.
German - Icelandic: Ég bíð með bláum kassa fyrir brjálaður maður.
Icelandic - English: I wait with blue boxes for a crazy person.

 

English: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Spanish: Francamente, cariño, me importa un bledo.
Zulu: Uma ngikhuluma iqiniso, othandekayo wami, mina abanandaba.
Swedish: Om jag talar sanning, min älskade, jag bryr mig inte.
Japanese: 私は真実を伝える場合は、私の愛するが、私は気にしないでください。
French: Si je vous dis la vérité, mon cher, mais s'il vous plaît, je ne me soucie pas.

English: If I tell you the truth, my dear, but please, I do not care.

 

English: Hit me baby, one more time!
Hebrew: תן לי את זה עוד הפעם!
Bulgarian: Дай ми го отново!
Czech: Dej mi to znovu!
Nepali: फेरि मलाई दे!
Indonesian: Beri aku lagi!
Back to English: Give me more!

I mean, it got the meaning right...

 

English: I eat pineapple on my yellow bicycle.

Punjabi: ਮੈਨੂੰ ਮੇਰੇ ਪੀਲੇ ਸਾਈਕਲ 'ਤੇ ਅਨਾਨਾਸ ਖਾਣ ਦੀ.

Turkish: Benim sarı bisiklet ananas yemek.

Lithuanian: Mano geltonas dviratis valgyti ananasų.

Russian: Мой желтый велосипед, чтобы съесть ананас.

Japanese: パイナップルを食べるために私の黄色の自転車。

Portuguese: Minha bicicleta amarela para comer abacaxi.

Spanish: Mi bicicleta amarilla comer piña.

English: My yellow bike eat pineapple.


It didn't even translate from Portuguese to Spanish correctly and both languages are similar!

 

English: Packing stuff up sucks.
Japanese: 詰め物を吸う。
Arabic: مص حشو.
Hawaiian: Omo filler.
Amharic: ኦሞ መሙያ.
Burmese: Omo charger ကို။
Bengali: Omo চার্জার.
Basque: Omo kargagailua.
English: Omo charger.
...I don't even know what happened.

 

English: If music be the food of love, play on.
Spanish: Si la música es la comida del amor, sigue jugando.
Estonian: Kui muusika on toidu armastus, hoida mängides.
Polish: Jeśli muzyka jest pokarmem miłości, kontynuowanie gry.
Thai: ถ้าเพลงเป็นอาหารของความรักที่เล่นเพื่อดำเนินการต่อ
Japanese: 音楽が愛の食べ物である場合は、継続して遊びます。
Hindi: संगीत प्यार का खाना है, तो खेलने के लिए जारी है।
English: Music is the food of love, then continue to play.

...Honestly, not that bad!

 

English: I filled the caravan with petrol so it will explode.
German: Ich füllte die Karawane mit Benzin, damit es explodieren wird.
Galician: Enchía o tren con gasolina para facelo explotar.
Dutch: Vulde de trein met benzine om het te laten ontploffen.
Afrikaans: Gevul het die trein met petrol om dit te laat ontplof.
Zulu: Egcwele isitimela uphethiloli ukuze siqhume it.
Back to English:
Train full of gasoline to explode it.

Lol, wrong vehicle.

 

English: For now, I stand before you, heart in my hand - Will you accept this gesture of love and be with me forever? I think you are the most beautiful person and will make me very happy if you were mine. So let us go and be free, walk this journey next to me

Irish: Chun anois, seasamh mé os comhair tú, croí i mo lámh - An mbeidh tú ag glacadh an gesture an ghrá agus a bheith liom go deo? I mo thuairimse, tá tú ag an duine is áille agus a dhéanamh dom an-sásta má bhí tú mianach. Mar sin in iúl dúinn dul agus a bheith saor, siúl an turas in aice liom

Finnish: Nyt seison edessänne, sydän käteeni - Hyväksyttekö ele rakkauden ja minun kanssani ikuisesti? Mielestäni olet kaunein henkilö ja tekevät minut hyvin tyytyväinen, jos olit minun. Joten menkäämme ja olla vapaa, kiertue juoksi vierelläni

Russian: Теперь я стою перед вами, сердце в моей руке - вы согласны с жест любви и со мной навсегда? Я думаю, что ты самый красивый человек и делает меня очень счастливым, если ты была моей. Итак, давайте идти и быть свободным, тур побежал на моей стороне

Latin: Ego stabo coram te ibi cor meum in manibus meis - cum ergo gestum apud me in finem? Puto me tibi pulcherrima atque si in laetitia. Sic et dimittet liberos fugerent meus Peregrinatione

English: My heart in my hands, I will stand before thee there - when he was done with me unto the end? If you think I told you the most beautiful and in the delight of all. So I ran away and let him go free tour





Oooookay then :lol:

 

English: My friend's donkey ate some blueberries, so it is now turning blue and coughing up beetles.

Spanish: El burro de mi amigo comió algunos arándanos, así que ahora se está volviendo azul y tosiendo escarabajos.

Swedish: Min vän åsnan åt några blåbär, så nu vänder blått och hosta skalbaggar.

Mandarin: 我的朋友驢吃一些藍莓，所以現在變成了藍色和咳嗽甲蟲。

Arabic: صديقي الحمار يأكل بعض العنب، لذلك تحولت الآن خنفساء زرقاء والسعال.

English: My friend ass eat some grapes, so now turned blue beetle and coughing.




Erm... Wow.. I suppose I ought to have expected that.

 

English: Livestock makes me feel sick
Spanish: El ganado me hace sentir enfermo
French: Le bétail me rend malade
German: Das Vieh macht mich krank
Arabic: الثروة الحيوانية يجعلني أشعر بأني مريضة
Danish: Husdyr gør mig syg
Dutch: Livestock maakt me misselijk

 

English: I feel a cloud over me. Are those zombies I see? And that priest, is he losing his soul? Well, I’m Massacre Anne, and I do what I can to bring the Master back living and whole.
Spanish: Siento una nube sobre mí. ¿Son esos zombis que veo? Y ese sacerdote, ¿está perdiendo su alma? Bueno, yo soy Massacre Anne, y hago lo que puedo para traer al Maestro de vuelta vivo y entero.
Arabic: أشعر سحابة فوقي. هي تلك الكسالى أرى؟ وأن الكاهن، تفقد روحها؟ حسنا، أنا مذبحة آن، وأنا أفعل ما بوسعي لجلب ماستر يعود على قيد الحياة وكامل.
Norwegian: Jeg føler meg som en sky over meg. Jeg ser er disse zombier? Og at presten, mister sin sjel? Vel, jeg er Ann-massakren, og jeg gjør det jeg kan for å bringe Mesteren tilbake i live og helhet.
Portuguese: Sinto-me como uma nuvem sobre mim. Eu vejo esses zumbis? E aquele sacerdote perder a sua alma? Bem, eu sou Ann massacre, e eu faço o que posso para trazer o Mestre de volta vivo e inteiro.
Croatian: Osjećam se poput oblaka iznad mene. Vidim ove zombije? I to svećenik izgubi svoju dušu? Pa, ja sam pokolj Ann i ja učiniti sve što mogu kako bi živ i sve oko Učitelja.
Hungarian: Úgy érzem magam, mint egy felhő fölöttem. Látom ezek a zombik? És a pap elveszti a lelkét? Nos, én vagyok vérontás Ann és én mindent tudok élni, és az egész a Mester.
Japanese: それは私が私の上に雲のように感じさせます。私はこれらのゾンビを参照してください？そして、祭司は彼の魂を失いますか？まあ、私はアンに流血していると私は私ができることはすべて、マスターの全体を生きます。
Romanian: Se va simți ca un nor în I deasupra mea. Vă rugăm să văd aceste zombi? Și ce preotul își pierde sufletul? Ei bine, mi-ar fi fost vărsarea de sânge din Ann voi trăi întreaga ca toate, comandantul pe care le pot.

English again: Will I feel like a cloud above me. Please see these zombies? And the priest loses his soul? Well, I would have been bloodshed in Ann will live across all Commander you can.

I'm a little bit impressed that it almost rhymes still. XD

 

English: I've been trying to get a little bit closer; I've been dying to get a little bit closer to you; come on and push it.

Swedish: Jag har försökt att få lite närmare; Jag har döende för att få lite närmare dig; kom igen och driva det.

Basque: Saiatu naiz, pixka bat gertuago; Apur bat duzu gertuago egon naiz hiltzen ditudan; itzuli zen eta funtzionatzeko.

Welsh: Rhoddais gynnig ar ychydig yn agosach; Yr wyf yn marw byddaf yn ychydig yn agosach i chi; dychwelodd i'r gwaith.

Luxembourgish: Ech probéiert e bësse méi no; Ech stierwe ech e bësse méi no un Iech gin; hien hannescht ze schaffen.

English: I tried a little closer; I die a little closer to you there; He returned to work.