The Absurd Excuses Game

I'm sorry, what? I thought dogs didn't need feeding? Errr, will bread-sticks do?

You don't happen to have any gum on you do you?

 

no sorry my dentist forbids me from haveing gum on me unless you want the pice off my shoe...

care to go fetch the paper?

 

Paper? Sorry i'm afraid i'm allergic to things that have been in contact with the air....

I could do with some Strawberries though, fancy fetching me some?

 

The bears will eat me!!!

HELP there's a huge bug on the wall!!!

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OMG! OMG! IT'S IN MY HAIR, IT'S IN MY HAIR! *jumps out the window*

Anyone got some antiseptic cream? I just fell into a prickly bush...

 

Sorry but anti-septic cream makes me blister

Can someone get my cat off my pillow?

 

My hands are covered in cat nip, it'll overdose!

Somebody please give me a hug.

 

I would but I just fell into a vat of coffee grounds.

Can someone find some water?

 

Sorry, I'm fresh out of water; the elephant two blocks down took the last pint.

Anyone want this last slice of chocolate cake? I couldn't have another bite...

 

Um...you made that right?...*looksdigusted*....Um Sorry I dont want the choclate monster to get me in my sleep....

Will you close the window?

 

if i close the window the ghosts will be trapped inside.

can someone get this thing off my back?

 

Sorry, i'm hundreds of miles away from you.

Someone punish my brother for being evil plzthanks

 

I'm on his side.

Could somebody retrieve my silver jewel-encrusted trinket from the shrubbery?

 

sorry but I'm not bending over for anyone.

could you remove this odd mole on my face?

 

no...i'm alergic to people.

halp, my dog's tring to get my sammich >:O

 

I'm not touching it, I think that's mustard in there. *eew*

Can I borrow someone's Cool Whip for my chocolate cake?

 

no, i'm EXTREMELY racist so i dont like to see colors mixed.

can someone help me? my dad is white and my mom is brown and i dont know what to do about it.

 

I'm colorblind.

Pass me the salt.

 

I'm sorry but I don't have arms.

Can someone go fill up my cars gas?

 

Well, alright.
But you are going to have to wait a bit while these baked beans digest.

Could you spare me some change?