Out on Facebook?

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

I have mined filled out as a practical way of letting people know that I am gay without needing to bring it up in conversation. It was also how I first came out on a large scale, but now it only serves the former purpose. I also have it filled out in case one of my friends is "interested" in me and wants to know whether I am gay or not... hey, I can dream.

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

I'm set to "interested in women". The only time I've been unsure about keeping me there was when a relative added me for the first time, but I decided to keep it.

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

I don't have a facebook anymore, but when I did I thought I was bi, so I had it set to men and women. But I wasn't friends with any relatives, and people were actually more accepting then than they are now, when I've been at least somewhat out for two years. But if I do get one again, I will probably still set it as interested in women and just hide it from my extended family. It will actually make it a lot easier to make that transition from being out as bi to everyone knowing I'm gay.

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

The less you put in your FB profile, the less spam you get. I have left mine largely empty in all areas...

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

I have mine filled in as "Interested In: Women". If I don't want someone to know, I just restrict their ability to view certain areas of my profile x)

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

Rule of thumb? Can't do too much damage with that, can we? Perhaps it should have been the rule of wrist!


I haven't set it on anything. It might stand out a little since I have filed in everything else, but as long as I haven't told all my family yet, I'm not going to let them know it over facebook. When they know (not too far in the future), I'm probably going to set it to the correct setting.

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

I haven't set it to anything. My info section is practically empty anyway.

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

Mine is still blank, and will likely remain like that for some time. If people were really paying attention, they probably would have figured it out by now because it used to say interested in: women.

As for it being left blank as an indicator for someone being not quite straight...probably dangerous to think that. A couple of my friends from High School have it left blank...and they're married to the opposite sex.

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

Filip. Love is what I have for you. <3 (*hug*)

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

mine is blank but i know heaps of very straight people who have theris blank, too

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

Well I should also mention the rule mostly applies to those in Middle/high school and early college years.

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

I don't have anything up. Thing is, if I don't talk to a person anymore then I don't care if they know or not what my political or religious views are or what I'm searching for or who I'm interested in. If I still talk to the person then I would rather have them find out all that stuff from myself.

My personal view is that things like 'interested in', 'looking for', 'political views' and 'religious views' are way too complicated to put in just one line on a Facebook page.

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

Most of my gay friends have a blank 'interested in' section. So usually when I see that it isn't there, it's a dead giveaway. However if you're not going out of your way to try and figure our a person's orientation then the principle 'out of sight, out of mind' works rather well. If you're not ready to come out you don't have to lie, just keep it blank.

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

When I was in the closet, it didn't say anything.
Now it says, "Interested in Women."

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

I changed mine on October 11th! =) And I posted this to go along with it.

It did say nothing before then, now it says "Women". Sadly, there's no box to check to say "I pretty much prefer women but I'm open minded! I could well be homoflexible! It all depends on my mood, really." And I'm not sure how disingenuous it would be to check the "men" box. It was actually me trying to figure out whether I was interested enough in men to bother mentioning it that stopped me changing that field, not me thinking, "oh no people will find out I like ladies". (That said, a couple of my aunts friended me and I totally don't let them see that part of my profile. >.>)

But, hell, even if I didn't have any of that there, it's pretty obvious. I'm a member of my university's GSA's FB group, a bunch of pro-same-sex marriage groups, and am a "fan" of a lot of queer women and generally queer-related things. =P Oh, that and the pride parade photos in one of my photo albums. There's that too!

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

One of my friends told me of how when she started going out with her current girlfriend, she (her girlfriend) still had Interested in Men on her profile, which she quietly dropped a little while later.

In general, I wouldn't take it as a rule of thumb that if it's empty there's a reasonable chance they're not straight, as there are plenty friends of mine who are perfectly straight and who have left it blank. But I suppose given that people tend to fill in the initial form almost without thinking, it requires a moment's thought to decide not to fill that in. When I joined, I did think that I wasn't entirely sure what I should honestly put down (I would have imagined Women, and kind of Men, and it was a few weeks before my first and only romantic relationship, with a girl. I was going through a straight phase). But the main reason I left it blank was that I was joining to chat to my friends, rather than dating, so that field wasn't really relevant to what I was doing. It's there with Relationship Status and Looking For, and I didn't fill those in either, because I wasn't there looking for a date. And when I was did have a girlfriend for a few months, I didn't change it to say In a Relationship.

But, as I said, I do think it might have its uses.

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Sorry to doublepost, but I didn't see this one before I posted. I do like the note you posted with it.

I kind of felt the same way as you did up till recently, I wasn't sure about ticking just Men, as I felt something for some girls, but to tick both would imply both equally. Now that I do feel more that I don't really like girls that way, and after meeting the two girls from school, I've been thinking about it. Like you too, it's not as if I'm otherwise hiding it, so it's no big deal for me really.

But I was curious what people thought about the significance of the thing at all. Nice to read the replies.

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

So, I don't have mine filled out either and NOT everyone that is friends with me knows that I'm gay. I had a lot of my parents' church friends on there as friends. Do you think I should consider my parents when officially changing my status to "liking men"? I kind of feel selfish about doing it without warning them first because they will feel the repercussions from it as well....what do you all think?

(Oh to give you some idea about my relationship with my parents! They are totally supportive in every aspect of my life except they ignore that idea that I'm gay and possibly still think it is a phase!)

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

Last year when I decided I was comfortable being myself, I took down the interested in section along with everything else. My thinking was, if they want to know all this stuff about me, they'll have to just spend time with me. I may change it to say men some day so I dont have to worry about people I dont talk to that much not knowing. Or atleast it would make me feel more comfortable with everyone knowing. But not till I tell my parents, because, though he's not on much, I am friends with my brother.
Also, I would keep it blank because if i'm trying to get a job and the person hiring me is homophobic or something (unlikely in graphic design) then they look at my FB, which is like impossible with my security settings, they wont know.

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

I did add it in the end. I didn't really think it was any big deal to have there, a big step in coming out or anything, because (a) I'm publicly out already and (b) most people don't check that page, they just stick to the wall. But just in case anyone is curious, I don't mind letting them know.

 

Re: Facebook - Interested in...

I very specifically left it blank and filled in all the other info stuff. Two reasons:

1) NYFB A-Hole... I am "friends" with lots of people on facebook with whom I will never care to discus my sex life

2) I kind of like the idea that it gives people pause. I am not out to very many people at all, and them assuming I am straight just makes my job harder... let 'em guess at it a little.

I also know a lot of confirmed heterosexuals who did not specify. So there...