Funniest Questions about your Sexuality

"So, if you are gay, does that mean you like guys?"

 

I was recently at a john Mayer concert and one of the ushers (idk, the guy had a yellow shirt on and a badge) and I was with one of my female friends (she knows I'm gay) and the usher comes up and asks me if I was here (there) with her or just to look at other girls. Me caught off guard quickly says 'Both' and share a laugh with Mr. Usher until he leaves. I then turn to my friend and say 'such a pity that I'm gay' and we both roar with laughter.

Sorry for the bad English at the beginning, stupid iPhone needs a better text editor

Oh, and I learned that john Mayer is an amazing guitarist.

 

"So when you get married, who's gonna pay for who?"

Sorry, it doesn't make sense so I'll explain. In my culture, before you marry, the groom's family must pay a dowry (in other words, a crap load of money) to the bride's family. In other words, the groom is buying his bride. So yea... Because I'm gay, I guess I don't have to pay a pricey dowry price.

Unless I'm the bride.

 

"So do you open the door for him or does he open the door for you?"

 

A friend asked me if I was attracted to myself too, that one seams pretty common...
It's not a question but I got told being gay suites me... I still havve no idea what that meant...

 

"pansexual? whats that?" (i explain) "oh... wait, what? theres more than one sex, or gender, or whatever you said? how does that work?"

o. my. god.

thats just...wow.

 

A guy asked me why I had cut my hair and changed my appearance lately, so I decided it was a good time to come out to him. He was just like "Wait.. but.. how does that work? Between two girls?"

*facepalm* And this boy is bisexual! He should know better...

 

i usually get the 'but you dont look like one'

from a lady at work the other day i got 'wow, you hide it well' well der... im at work, and in the closet.. im not gunna flaunt it now am i....

and the... i have a friend whos a lesbian... you should meet her.

IDIOT!

EDIT: ohh and male friend: so do you use a dildo?
me: no, you dont need a penis to have sex...
him: then how?

ahh, he learnt alot that night..

 

When I came out to my friend Sarah she responded with "What? How could you be gay? your like the straightest person I know."

I laughed.

The humor comes from the fact that I'm actually pretty effeminate and almost all of her friends are guys...

 

"Oi bro! Are you gay?" -Random person
"Yes" -Me
"What?" -Random person
"Yes"- Me
"You're gay?" - Random person
"Yes" -Me
"You like boys?" -Random person
"Yes" -Me
"You like doodle?" -Random Person
"Um... yes." -Me
"Oh... Okay" -Random Person

 

yeh i love the way ppl think ur gona b attracted to their one gay friend that u HAVE to meet :dry::sleep:

"a hole & a hole?hows that work then?"

 

When I told one of my str8 guy friends while golfing he was all like, "what!? but you're so cool." ha I let him have it for that one. After talking awhile he asked " so are you attracted to me?" to which I replied no. He then looked shocked and asked "why not?", all I could say was your not my type.

He is funny like that sometimes, first he is worried because I might be attracted to him, and then he is slightly offended when I'm not. He not that bad looking, it's just that I'm not interested. Plus it would be wierd to be dating a close friend, at least for me.

 

The day after I came out to my friend he asked me: ''so... you still a lesbian?'' :lol:

From another friend: ''Rachel (my gf) is bi, isn't she? So if she's going out with you, and your a lesbian, does that make her a complete lesbian?'' :roflmao:

From a different friend: ''you're a lesbian? Oh cool, you can have my mates number 'cause she's bi.'' :dry:

Loads more things i've been asked, but they've already been said.

 

So, do you like, all of a sudden, like, have some fashion sense now?
...
...
...
Ouch.
No, I guess I don't.

 

Me: I'm gay.
Person: What!? But you're not into fashion are you?
Me: [headdesk]

 

someone once asked me
"is sex like having a sh*t for you guys?"
:rolleyes:

 

I remember in highschool a friend of mine didnt have lunch money, and he said "I'll give you a lap dance if you buy me lunch."
I said "WOW, you are cheap."

 

lol i got/get that.
i get it from this guy that likes me too:icon_redf

this guy wanted to take me to our college leavers ball,obviously i had to break it to him cuz he kept on at me.the response..."oh,ur a lesbian?i'll check on facebook next time i meet a hot girl" :eusa_clap
wont get him far i dont think cuz some of my lesbian friends dont have it on there so he's gona keep hitting on gay girls:eusa_danc

 

From a female friend- "so it wouldn't matter if i sat here topless with you?"
me- "just coz i don't enjoy it like that doesn't mean it wouldn't be awkward!"

What a silly question! Though i do think she was joking!

 

Them: "So is sex for you like sucking in a poo."
Me: "WHAT?"
Them: "what?:rolleyes:"
Me: "Did you just as..."
Them: "FUCK OFF...pansy..."

What the hell is sucking in a poo D:
Im glad he went to a different college.



Them: "How do you pee?"
Me: "what?"
Them: "Do you sit down?"
Me: "why would i do that"
Them: "i don't know, you might get a hard on from looking at your willy, then you couldnt go"

At that point i was on the floor laughing my lungs out