Church... feeling guilty

I've seen a lot of people on here who are atheist, and I know a lot of Christians are, you know, insanely homophobic and whatnot. But I'm a Christian, I just believe in the Bible... somewhat selectively. So I started going to this youth group at a pretty open-minded Methodist church about two months ago, while I was still sort of questioning.

And now, I'm sure that I'm bi. And I'm really overwhelmed with this pride recently, like I'm so proud of who I am. But it seems to have the opposite effect in church. The more proud I feel and the more I accept myself, the more guilty I feel at youth group. I start feeling really nervous and my heart starts pounding whenever we're in small group. Like, when the whole group is together and we're singing, I feel fine. I'm praising God and nobody's going to make any comments.

But then we get into small group, which is called "Girls of Grace" and we talk about what it means to be a Christian and how to show it... like modesty, abstinence, and whatnot. And I'm not sure if I'm nervous that they'll bring something up about homosexuality or that I feel guilty. I'm not sure what I'm asking for here... don't really know how anyone can give advice, but if you've been in a similar situation, I'd love some. I don't want to stop going, and I want to stay a Christian because I love God. But I need to stop feeling guilty whenever I try to spend time with Him.... ~megan~

 

oh, girl, don't worry. you're not the only one.
if you need biblical consolation check out my earlier thread entitled "interesting religious view" in the general chat section. it'll give you a way to not feel guilty.
but trust me, you aren't the only one. i feel guilty as well, and i go to a hard-core catholic school (with the plaid skirts and all...yuck *feels like such a butch*) and they're pretty word-for-word for the bible. i get slammed every day (though she doesn't know about one part) by my theology teacher for either being a protestant or being bi/lesbian. and it's hard for me. but the thing is, god doesn't care. i know this. does it say anything in the ten commandments about being homosexual? no. it just condemns adultery. and someone pointed out that there are more ways for straight people to sin than for homosexual people to. honestly, i don't think god cares. as long as you love him (which it seems you really do) then you're fine. it's great that you're going to youth group--i lost my chance long ago with my non-religious family (especially my mom, who hates christianity...she's not an atheist, but she hates christianity and hates the fact that i'm a devout christian) and i'm proud of you for going. just keep up your faith, and praise god. in my mom's infinite wisdom regarding the unity of religions (because, like i said, she's not atheist) she has said this quote:
"There's more than one way up a mountain."
meaning that there's not just one way to god. there are many ways.
just be happy with who you are, and get closer to God. that's the way to feel the best about yourself and to ensure your salvation. you sound like you really love God...don't give him up.
and like i said, check out my previous thread. it'll probably help.
good luck, and remember this:
when Jesus died on the cross, he stretched out his arms and said, "I love you this much..."
(i just think it's a cool quote )

 

Oh yeah, and PM me if you just need to talk about stuff. i'm here.(*hug*)

 

It is too easy to lose your faith. If you have it, don't let go!

When my [Catholic] priest basically pushed me out of the church community, I lost mine. It is more important to be a good person, to help others. The name of whatever force you believe gives meaning to your life does not matter. If your Catholic faith gives you the push you need to get out of bed in the morning, be happy, find community and generally "be good", it is not a bad thing. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to be straight to follow God.

 

My parents are Christian. My dad's Roman Catholic, my mother's Episcopalian. And they're the coolest people on the planet.

If the time comes, you can simply say "I have a hard time believing that."

Lex

 

In reality all popular Christian groups are selective in what parts of the Bible they follow.

These people should be happy that you're living your life in accordance with some/most of the Bible, if not all of it.

 

I sort of know what you mean when it comes to the guilt aspect. I go to church once a year to be honest, just to pay my respects to all the fallen servicemen and women on remembrance Sunday (11am, 11th day of 11 month) but regardless of my reasons for being there I always feel a little guilty that in this Roman Catholic church sits a gay.. something they are sooo against it's unbelievable.

But then I remind myself, that I am who I am for a reason. That i'm happy with what and who I am, why exactly I'm there and that if there is a god.. that he must have created me like this for a reason. Just what you need to do.

 

Hi, You gave me some of my first advice when I signed on to EC, now it's my turn.
Most people quote Leviticus when they rail against homosexuality. They are talking about one of 613 laws in the law of the Mitzvoh, The Mosaic law or Law of Moses. THese include other outdated rules that require you not to mix fabrics, no wool and linen, (throw out those poly-cotton blends) Also you cannot laugh or joke with male family members beacuse that sort of familiarity can lead to naughty behavior. The list goes on, just know that in the New Testament, Jesus, I think it was in Romans, said the Mosaicx law was not necessary for salvation.
Can you tell I come from a "religious" background.
Anyway if someone gives you any crap about the Bible, which is a great book by the way, being infallible, ask him/her where they burn their animal offerings every Sunday as prescribed in the Old Testament.

In my opinion I think that Jesus' Golden Rule is the best guide you can use in daily life. I have to remember that more in my own dealings with those precious to me.

Take care

 

Hey, I know how you feel. Here's my story. Growing up my mother is Luthren and my father is Catholic, so there was always a lot of religious tension because my mother is very firm in what she believes. So, religion is like a tug of war at my house. When I was in the first grade, rather than be sent to a crappy school, my mother sent me to a Catholic school, to keep me away from crime and whatnot. I had to attend church there every Friday.

I hated it. Every single second, the kids at that school were mean, the nuns (they taught us) were cruel and rude, and all the church proceedings seemed fake to me, even at six years old.

After that school year, I moved to where I live currently. I go to a nice public school, however, many people there are Christians. Now, I like these people a lot. They're nice to me and they don't think homosexuality is a sin. Well, most of them don't. I still run into the occasional 'religious' homophobe.

Now, I believe in a higher power but I mostly follow Buddhism.

The lesson of this long, drawn out story is that believe how you want to believe. Don't let others push you into something you don't want.

As for the Bible, there are some pretty weird verses in there. If we followed the Bible to the letter, well, let's just say we'd have some pretty whacked out church services.

No one believes in all of the Bible.

As for feeling guilty, don't, those people there are proud to be Christian. Why can't you be proud to be bisexual and Christian? There's no law against that.

Good luck (Sorry for the length of the post.)

 

Wow, thanks so much to all of you guys. I had no idea so many people here felt the same way! (*hug*) ~megan~