Dont you hate when some one tells you to get over someone but your simply can't!?

I don't know where to go..

But I understand. All my friends don't see why it's such a big deal.
"Get over him already." IS ALL I HEAR!

I know what you mean...I sympathize. :dry:

 

Conversation between me and my old college roommate, who was mooning over someone who already had a boyfriend.

"Jeez, would you just deal with it?!"
"I am!"
"No, you're not!"
"You don't think so?"
"Not very well, anyway."
"Really?"
"Well, you keep bitching about it."
"That's my way of dealing with it!"



You're obviously not ready to move on, because you still feel there's a decent chance that something might come of it. That's fine. The problem that arises is when we start microanalyzing absolutely everything that person does, sifting through it all, looking for clues about whether or not this person likes us "like that" or not. Actually, even that's not the real problem - the true problem is when we drag our friends into it, and give them a play-by-play of every encounter and non-encounter. After a certain point, our friends, who are usually rather supportive, just get exasperated, and may say, "Just get OVER her, OK?!" It's a bit like going to a restaurant and saying, "Well, I could have the burger, but I don't know...the chicken looks good...but I got that bad chicken here once, so maybe not..." After about three minutes of this, your friend might just scream, "Geez, would you just ORDER SOMETHING?!"

If any of your friends have obviously reached this threshhold, just don't go into detail with them anymore. If asked, just smile a bit and say, "Just obsessing over so-and-so again," and leave it at that.

Lex

 

i know what you mean and i have the same problem. i'm obsessed with a girl who is 100% straight, and she has a boyfriend. sometimes, all i want to do is talk about her, and how i feel about her; but my two close friends (who know about my crush) have their own problems and don't wanna hear me talk about her all the time.

if you wanna PM me i would be more than happy to talk to you about your crush. we could compare crush stories if you like. i would be happy to talk to you about it either on here or via PM.

 

If you aren't ready to move on, then don't. Everyone moves at their own pace, and you decide that by yourself. Sorry there isn't much else I can say, not much experience on this subject...

 

Sometimes you just have to stop talking about them to those people. You know what is in your heart. They don't.

 

Well, can you find a close friend or someone else who you can channel all your talk about your crushes on?

In that case, I have a couple of guys who were willing to listen, and I am so relieved!

or pls PM me if ya wanna channel these too... i'll listen!

 

PM is "private message". To send one, click on the user's name on the left there. A menu will pop up, including "Send a private message to (name)". Choose that option, and take it from there.

Lex

 

even someone whos been in the same situation as u cant tell you to get over it cus they still dont know exactly wat ur feeling...everyones different ya know

 

It's not so much the fact that that person hasn't gotten over someone - it's that there's a lot of drama attached to it, and as a friend/cohort of that person, you often get to hear of it in minute detail. "He was in math class today, and he dropped his pencil, and when he reached down to pick it up, I could see that little bit of hair he has along his neck. Sigh..." After about a week of this, it's no surprise that people start saying "Geez, get a hobby, would ya?"

Lex

 

It is really frustrating when people just tell you to get over someone - I have a friend telling me this at the moment, as I have an impossible, hopeless, never-going-to-happen crush, yet it persists.

As has kind of already been said, the problem is that the person you are crushing on is not nearly as interesting to the person you are talking to as they are to you. As in, they don't want to hear about them all the time... therefore you have to find new people to talk to, or try to limit how much you talk about them.

I think that crushes often have their own time-limit, which it can be virtually to break, but I think that there can be a problem if there is certainly and absolutely no possibility of anything, ever, and yet it persists. In which case you actually have to force yourself somehow to get over them. But if you think you have a chance, and/or it's not affecting your life in general (ie you haven't been crushing on the same person for decades with no hope), then there is not necessarily any reason to try and get over someone. But you might want to discuss it less with some of your less sympathetic friends, who are less enamoured of this person than you are, and are therefore not as obsessed. But we are all guilty of obsession and over-analysis!

 

For a long time I considered myself bi, mostly becuase I meet this amazing girl at church camp. Unfortuetly she lived in San Francisco and I lived in San Diego. Over the weeks we fell in love with each other. But I fell so much in love with her that I knew that a long distance realationship doesnt work, as much as we want it to. I broke up with her because I loved her too much to contiune to not be there for her.

It took a long time for me to get over her, in fact I dont think we ever really get over anyone we love so much. It sounds wierd but I moved on when I found out that she had a boyfriend again. That made me so happy, becuase it worked, she was happy again and that was the point. But I had friends tell me for months that I needed to move on, but I simply couldnt cause she had been so deep in my heart.