crushes...it never works out. as a matter a fact my churshes never even notice me or notice i even exist so......definetly 1......bored.
Just a question, is it really a good idea to focus on your crush's weaknesses? What if they are a friend, but now you a sort of rip them apart in your mind deliberately and start to become stand-offish towards them? I think it may be an ok idea if you do it lightly and don't know the person, but you having a crush on them isn't their fault, so why practice finding faults and weaknesses in them for your own sake? I think the best ideas would be to A) Work on yourself and B) Keep yourself busy or C) Look for someone else. -Tez
Ah...the beauty of being gay :lol: Sometimes it's good to focus on their weaknesses. I got over a crush on one of my (straight) friends like this. I somehow made myself hate him a bit and also look at him and see the things I don't like about him. And it worked for me. I still see him on a daily basis and we're friends but I never think of him 'that way' anymore.
I was just wondering if it was a good idea to use 'hate' or 'dislike' to get over things such as this. Do you think it's possible that someone could fall into a bit of a cycle of focusing on this when it comes to crushes, since they can happen pretty easily - would the person crushing start to feel worse for using it as a tool all of the time? Would it affect the way they see their next crush? And could they even potentially screw up a chance of being with a crush whose orientation isn't known by automatically slipping into the cycle, when they could just go up and ask them out or something? I have no idea if i'm making any sense anymore? -Tez
Well, I only did this after I was sure that he didn't want to be anything else, just my friend. I agree, if you're not sure what your crush's orientation is, then it's not a good idea to automatically start distancing yourself from them, thinking that you don't have a chance anyway. Only use this 'noticing things you don't like' technique as a last resort, when you know that you have to get over the crush because otherwise you're just causing yourself unnecessary pain. :icon_bigg
Yes, the "noticing weaknesses" is really a last resort, if you know it can't work. And you can do it humanely (lol) -not by hating them, but by trying to take off the "omg squeeee she's so perfect in every way " feeling you get with a crush. If you just calmly think, "Well, she has this weakness and this weakness so she can't actually be God" it can help to bring things back into persepctive.
you know noticing flaws in my ex-crush (I say ex because I'm never going to see him again) didn't help all that much unless it was my friends bagging him in which case it was fantastic
This is great advice, and I hope that it works for me. I always seem to get a crush on someone when there are other problems happening; I think I'm just looking for someone to hold me up, but I end up hurting more.
that is EXACTLY what i have to do, because for some reason, straight guys at my school are freakin hot. and its a total bummer. :bang: teeheehahahasnort
I've noticed this with myself too. I think that if you find yourself having serial crushes on people who are obviously from point one unavailable, such as obviously straight or with someone, then you have to look at yourself, and perhaps ask yourself why. Whilst there is true love out there, many crushes are more about yourself than the other person, and what you need, rather than what would be good for you. So if you constantly find yourself having impossible crushes, and it is seriously affecting you, then you have to focus on yourself, rather than the person (such as their weaknesses), or else you will simply move on and continue the cycle. That said, having crushes is healthy as long as they don't get out of hand. I also find that a little distance, and socialising with other people also helps. It's also much nicer on friends than thinking of their bad points!
ok, guys, i need some help, here's the story: they have this really nice guy that i work with, who im crazy about, he is bi, so i stand a chance, we really don't talk much, but im bridging that gap in....but there's just one problem: he's taken.... so what do I do?? continue to like him? or.. move on?? and how??? somebody...please offer some advice....
Hey hey, I doubt its like imposable to forget about someone!! but on the same note its not great to hold up till he's single again... Moving on is defiantly not easy but try and focus on something else or find someone else. and if later down the track he is single worry about that then. Don't Hold out in my opinion Good Luck!!! xoxo.
