How old were you...

11 - Throughout high school I was called queer, poof, and bender loads, and was always a bit of an outsider - never liking stereotypical boy stuff but never being into stereotypically girl stuff - sorta always more interested in the more gender neutral stuff but with a boyish slant, but also playing with my sister and her Barbie's/My Little Pony but with them get covered in Ghostbusters slime and the like

14 - Started wondering why all the other boys, aside from one of my closest friends at the time, were obsessed with tits and girls, where as I couldn't care less.

15 - I found out what queer, poof, and bender were slang for and started to wonder if the reason I wasn't interested in girls was because I was queer too. Of course at the time I didn't find guys attractive either so I couldn't be...

17 - First caught myself checking a couple of, cute, guys out but still didn't think I was gay.

18 - Had a huge crush on one of my flat mates but was still waiting for the "right girl", but deep down realising I preferred guys to girls but not really in any form of romantic / sexual way (if that makes sense)

20 - Knew I was definitely sexually attracted to guys, and even lost my virginity to one, but still hanging onto the fact I might still be straight, but knowing I was only turned on by man-on-man action...

23 - Finally knew that I was gay (BTW coming to that realisation while you are trying to revise for your exams and doing you dissertation leads to shed loads of sleepless nights - I'm now convinced that I could have easily got an high 2:1 if not a first had it not been for struggling to come to terms with my sexuality).

27-29 - After kinda ignoring the feelings I had for years various things (some good, some bad, some off the cuff remarks with no bias either way, reconnecting with my two closest childhood friends via Facebook and seeing both of them had "Interested in Men" and "In a relationship with boyfriends name" on their profiles) brought them all back to the surface and I started to accept myself I was gay, and for the first time tried to pluck up the courage to start the coming out process...

30th birthday - went on a night out with my friends which ended up in two different gay bars and a gay club (the only person in our group who can ever make his mind up is gay so we tend to end up where he wants to go, but still..), but still in the closet.... (why I can here everyone's gaydar going off at full volume?! )

a couple of weeks later after struggling to get to sleep and managing to go on a 50km cycle ride where the only thing I could think of was coming out - I finally plucked up the courage to come out to one of my friends / colleagues / fellow gay, and within another fortnight went to my first Pride where for the first time I really accepted that I was indeed gay.

30.5 - Going back to being 14 and having one friend who wasn't interested in girls.. well I met him and his boyfriend over xmas and seeing them together has made me want to come out and have a boyfriend, and really starting to imagine what it would be like to have one...

So yeah, that took a while and it's still far from over.

 

Hi qboy, that sounds great! It took me until I was 47 to admit to myself that I was gay then another year to tell someone else. Now at the age of 51 I'm really relaxed about myself and open about my sexuality (even my 80 year old parents coped admirably!). It feels good to have an honest relationship with my family and friends (I have three sisters and a twin brother so telling all them plus their partners was an interesting ride in itself).

 

Third year of college was when I could no longer deny to myself that I was attracted to men. A classmate somehow found my AIM username and messaged me that he thought I was cute while I was at the library. I was in a strong religious phase at the time, so I had no intention of letting anyone know I might like guys. I let him down gently by telling him that I was straight, but flattered. My physical reaction to that conversation however made it so I couldn't leave my college library for another 15 to 20 minutes without awkward stares. I couldn't lie to myself after that.

 

Realised when I was 9, denied it from ages 10 to 12, then from age 13 onwards I fully accepted that I was gay.

 

... This almost to a T! I have had the thought every few months/years since I was 9-10... but am just starting to figure everything out and come to terms with who I am (I am almost 22). I probably won't be coming out anytime soon though. Although sometimes I feel like that's all I think about.

 

I was 15

 

I questioned three different times, the earliest being the age of 15. Only have just in the last few months have started to accept it better.

 

I think I was 16 when I finally fully realized I was only attracted to other guys and that it wasn't some experimental phase. Couple of crushes on some guys and was never really interested in dating girls. Took out a couple of girls on dates, but I was never interested. Took me a looooong time to start coming out of my shell a couple of weeks ago. But I feel the best I ever have around those that know.

 

Well..

Existence-10 = ****

10-13 = Confusing ****; Probably some Gay **** towards the end.

14 = What the; Am I Gay?!

15 = ****

16 = I'm sick of this, I'm gay (First real sex; went well).

18 = Yeah I'm really gay, and I can be open about it.

So yeah. Now I'm gay, and if you ask, I'll tell. I don't really know when my feelings developed, but they definitely materialized by the time I was 16, before that I don't know; I was a mess.

I'm not completely out to everyone, however I don't have relationships with women, and hangout with a bunch of guys all the time. It's not hard for most people who know me to draw those conclusions.

 

Pretty sure I never had a doubt in my mind about what I liked, even from a very early age, but the environment I grew up in and homophobia has made it a pretty huge struggle to actually come to terms and get comfortable with it.

 

I felt different since birth. I began questioning my sexuality at 11. I began identifying as bisexual around 17. I identified as lesbian only recently.

 

Long story short,
11 when I thought I might be
12-denial
13-denial
14-acceptance
15-in closet and keeping up an act.

 

Thinking back, I realize I had same sex and opposite sex attractions when I was really little, but I didn't get it at the time.

13/14 - I started to suspect

14 to 18 or so I went through this weird period where I thought about guys a lot (and girls too). I finally gave up on making the guy thoughts go away and allowed myself to set aside 1 day a week to think about the boys so that I could still be "straight" the rest of the time. Oh denial is amazing. :eusa_doh: What happened was the designated day kept sliding around so much that I gave up on it after a while and just let myself be attracted to whomever. This was when I slowly started to admit to myself that I was either bi or gay but still ashamed of it. (Really went boy crazy senior year. :icon_bigg )

I gradually began to accept myself once I got away from my high school town and hit 20 or so in college; all while awkwardly forcing myself out now and then. Over time I finally began to get a taste of that pride stuff everyone wouldn't shut up about and it was FABULOUS! (!) That was the tricky bit; I needed to hear other people say it was okay to be LGBT. Once that started to sink in I was able to move past the mindset of my hometown. There are still some issues with my family at the time of writing, but I'll post where appropriate as that develops.

 

I swear the only things I thought about about when I was like 10 or younger was video games and making sure I didn't miss Power Rangers on Saturday mornings.

I was really never attracted to girls now that I think back on it, I actually think I thought about guys, but I never realized it untill....... I'm not sure how old I was, I think it was sometime in middle school so 12 or 13, but I was "spanking the monkey" for the first time. I was imagining girls, but it wasn't doing anything for me. My mind just eventually drifted to a guy and it just felt right.

I then spent pretty much the rest of my public school years denying it, thinking I would grow out of it or it would just go away and hating myself, since at the same time I was being told that being gay is a sin.

When I graduated, I didn't accept I was gay, but I accepted that I wasn't attracted to girls and labeled myself Asexual. I also decided I was just going to be alone for the rest of my life.

It wasn't until I was maybe 21 when I finally accepted that I was gay, but admitting to that made me question my faith. I stopped going to church and sort of embarked on a journey to find myself.(Which literally was just me losing sleep at night thinking how can I be gay and a Christian? It sounded liked a oxymoron to me.) It was a internal tug-o-war.

It wasn't until last year, due to some amazing events, that I realized it was alright to be a gay Christian and I fully accepted myself.

I'm not too sure about the ages when all that happen, it was all a blur. lol

 

I was about 17 when I consciously realized I was/am attracted to girls. I had a boyfriend at the time who I did really like being with so I figured I was bi.

I didn't date much throughout college and pretty much kept my sexuality to myself. Had a couple one night stands with guys, and one with a girl that I reaaalllly enjoyed. I was probably 21 when I figured out that I actually preferred women (over men), and 22 when I finally acknowledged that guys didn't really do anything for me, at all.

In retrospect, though, I played a lot of mind games with myself. Even when I thought I was bi, straight TV/movie couples were kind of whatever, but I, ahem, really really liked the episode of House where Thirteen hooked up with a girl, etc. All the indications were there, I was just incredibly oblivious to them.

 

I was 19 when I first when "wait....am I...gay?"

It's been a roller coaster of "yes I am, no I'm not, I hate myself, I love myself" acceptance and denial ever since. I'm hoping to even that out a little bit here now.

 

now that i look back it was 5th grade. I still remember the moment. Just came to acceptance with it a few days ago.

 

I was 11.... I knew I liked men ever since. I didn't accept it until I was about 16ish, but didn't come out to anyone until I was 20.