Corrupt A Wish

Granted but every time you're in a match, you miss every time you swing at your opponent
I wish I can travel

 

Granted, but you can only travel to war-torn dictatorships with a suitcase full of anarchist reading material.

Wish I could meet the historical Jesus.

 

Granted, you use the all-new one-way time travel machine to go back and meet him, unable to return by any method...
I wish I could control the ocean(like Percy Jackson from that book series, if you can)

 

Granted, but you only gain the ability to control the ocean if you shit yourself whenever you want to use your powers.

I wish I didn't have to sleep, making sleep a leisure activity rather than a necessity.

 

Holy crap didn't see that coming
Granted, but other necessities become much more necessary(drink much more, stuff like that)
I wish I could sleep easier, it takes forever

 

Granted, but you have to sleep 23 hours a day or you feel immensely tired.

I wish I could play music in my head that no-one could hear, that I could control the volume of. In other words, a radio station playing any genre I wished.

Sorry about twisted humour lol

 

I already feel immensely tired, maybe that wish, or the corrupted part at least, came true a long time ago...

Granted, but this radio isn't of high quality and often needs repairs. But who could fix it? I'll leave that to you...
I wish I could comfortable sit anywhere

 

Granted. Your chair is a rocking chair and the movements eventually make you throw up.

I wish to be a power ranger.

 

Granted, you are a crappy modern power ranger
I wish I could create an explosion around me on command and survive unharmed every time

 

Wish granted, but with every explosion someone you love dies and everyone knows it was you...

Wish i could see into the future

 

Wish granted, but you can only see into the future of one very boring sardine.

I wish I could pull the delicious looking foods I see online out of my screen and eat them.

 

Wish granted, but because they contain a virus your head is now being corrupted and you can't stop eating the food.

I wish i could alter my past

 

Granted, but altering the past affects the future trapping yourself between the two realities, causing your mind and body to become overwhelmed, inevitably killing you. Woah, what have I done?
I wish for the next poster's wish to be for 1 000 000 tacos in their backyard, muhaha!

 

Granted, but part of my wish is that you eat them all with a strong laxative and plenty of hot sauce

But my secondary wish is... I wish I could be 6'8"...

 

Granted, but the rest of the world's population is proportionally shorter to the amount you grew, and everything is built for the new average height. Have fun ducking!!!
I wish game companies didn't have to make money to keep going, so that things aren't bogged down by power creep

 

Granted, but video games literally cease to exist on all fronts, and even current gaming consoles are recalled so no one can play video games ever again.

I wish I could find the perfect husband, someone who does not shout when he gets angry and loves me for all my eccentricities, and loves going out to party as much as I do.

 

Granted, but he gets killed shortly after your marriage.

I wish my life made sense to me

 

Granted your life makes sense, but to open even a peanut jar, u have no clue..your clueless about everything else.

I wish I could post a message on Empty closets

 

Granted but few bother to pay it any attention
I wish I didn't have confetti on my floor(Don't ask. Please.)

 

Granted. The confetti has been replaced by toenail clippings.

I wish I was better at talking about my feelings