Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but the larger part of the world's population hang themselves, because less freedom of expression and no variety in things that make people happy equals a soulless existence.

I wish someone would help us out of the confined space (over there) and save us from the Haters.

 

Granted. You are saved from the confined space (over there), only to be dropped into ANOTHER confined space (over here), and with a different group of Haters.

I wish I was more mentally stable.

 

Granted, but you leech your mental stability off others. In the end, all people around you become unstable, and their instability causes you nothing but anxiety.

I wish the moon was my friend. (bleh)

 

Granted! The problem is that when the moon comes closer to say hello, it creates such a huge tidal disturbance, that most of humanity is destroyed, as are most mammals. You must content yourself with a long distance relationship.

I wish trees could talk.

 

Granted! But they will insult everyone with racist, homophobic and transphobic slurs and comments.

I wish I wasn't shy.

 

(huh, Trump must have planted these trees!)

Also, granted: You are no longer shy. In fact, quite the opposite. Like a puppy, you constantly crave attention, and when you're alone, and somebody comes home, you pounce on them, craving attention, whimpering and whining. ( as something of a 'sensitive' extrovert, I kind of feel this way : ))

I wish I could make a living just by writing.

 

Granted, but you'll be known for (and live from, exclusively) your biography of Donald Trump.

I wish I could own a personal Concorde. haha

 

Granted! You are presented with a scale model of just such a plane, made of balsa wood.

I wish i got paid for talking, like $5 per word. (I talk a lot, so I'd never have to worry about money.)

 

Granted, but one day, you will lose your voice from talking so much and never be able to talk again.

I wish I could marry Emma Watson.

 

Granted! You marry Emma Watson and have a huge, elaborate wedding, which garners much press. However, you find that in private, she's even more wicked than the stepmother in Cinderella and Cruella DeVille combined: She holds you captive, and has you cleaning the house, scrubbing floors, washing walls, mending socks and doing 10,000 other things, while she goes off and leads a life of glamor and fame.

I wish I was famous for ending all wars and human suffering.

 

Granted! But the thing most people will talk about is that embarassing thing that happened.

I wish I could travel through time.

 

Granted, but you can only travel to negative time periods and events.


I wish for a fish.

 

Granted but your fish is in the middle of the ocean and you need to find it.

I wish I could swap genders whenever I wanted

 

Granted, but each time you swap genders, you will lock all memories made during the time spent in the opposite gender, and unlock memories made in your current gender. Memories made before you swapped genders for the 1st time are not counted.

I wish I could instantly recognize people's sexual orientation.

 

Granted , yet they will fall obsessively in love with you when you use the power on someone, t hey will follow you everywhere. They wont hurt you, they will follow you and camp where you live.

I wish I could teleport

 

Granted, but it's 100% out of control and happens randomly.

I wish recovery would be easier.

 

Granted but you will recover and get so buff while recovering you cannot even fit in your bed anymore. If you wink to hard a tornado happens so strong of musles you have !

Wish I did not have to sleep !

 

Granted! You can live without sleep, but you are always tired as hell!

I wish for my wish to succeed!

 

Oooooooo!!!!!! Its on!!!!

Your wish will succeed, your wish is that you will be turned into a pink bunny...I wont corrup the wish. Because you want it to succeed...since you did not mention what I am free to do as I please!!!! Pink bunny you are now ! A bunny the size of the Eifel tower ! Good luck !

I wish to eat all the chocolate I can without getting fat !

 

Granted, but the more you eat it, the more you want it, and you will become addicted. In the end you'll eat out almost every chocolate supplies in the world and you'll start global Chocolate wars because of that...

I wish to speak fluently Swedish