Corrupt A Wish

Granted , but a monkey will hug you for the rest of your life

I wish I had a ferret.

 

Granted, I hope you like rabid ferrets.

I wish for love.

 

Enjoy.

I wish I had my dream job.

 

Granted but you lose everything else.

I wish I wasn't sick all of the time.

 

Granted, but now you can't call in sick to work.

I wish my three year old would nap for 2 hours each afternoon.

 

Granted but it is in 15 minute intervals

 

You didn't make a wish.......



Okay, I will..........



I wish everybody would vote for me for the next President of the USA

 

Done everyone votes for you, but it doesn't really matter because then they all decide to hate you.

I wish I had a real light saber.

 

Granted, but the batteries die everytime you turn it on, so it's more or less just a pretty paperweight.



I wish I could find a decent place to live.

 

Granted, it is the best place in the world...But it is over run by rabbid dogs.

I wish coffee would never run out.

 

Granted, but now you have to sell your tongue to a science lab in order to get unlimited coffee.



I wish the USA could get a President who isn't corrupt, dishonest, and a lying sack of scum

 

Granted. However, they're promptly assassinated, and the VP is the worst in the country's history.

I wish I could get the courage to just come out to everyone

 

Granted, but everyone already knew.

I wish the day was over, and I was home with my dog.

 

Granted, the day is now over. But so is every other day. The world is at an end. Enjoy your last day on earth with your dog.

I wish depression was not so persistent.

 

Granted, but now with the high levels of serotonin you quite manic all the time.


I wish I could smoke cigarettes again without harmful side effects

 

Granted, I can not corrupt this one as I wish the same damn thing!

I wish cannabis was legal.

 

Granted, but you die years before it is legalized. O:


I wish I was a sexy puppy.

 

Granted, but your wish was misheard, now you find yourself having sex with a puppy.

I wish I was able to discern my gender more easily.

 

(Puppy, you say???)

And, Granted! You can discern your gender with perfect clarity, only now, you are wrong about determining the gender of others at least 63.7% of the time.

I wish they would build a city called Womanchester next to Manchester.

 

Oh I could handle that easily! No problem at all!

Granted...But as I would up sticks and move there...Now appears a new city Womanchester, the mayor? Me! Woop yay me!

I wish Huskypup would find their dream dog and have away with them :icon_wink