Corrupt A Wish

I wish you had posted a wish I could corrupt.

 

Granted but now a life-altering paradox has formed that destroys every fact you thought you knew and melts your brain just because a few words were added to a forum post. Oh well.

I wish my school report card to be the best anyone has ever seen.

 

Granted you have the worst report carda for the rest of your life, only one good one

I wish I had 1000 young cute, clean men with cute, tight butts, lots of muscle and abs. They are either skinny or really buff and rough. These men are forever there to pleasure me

 

Granted but every time you touch one of the men they die and come back as a zombie. Eventually you are stuck living in a house with 1000 zombies all servicing your needs and decomposing around you.

I wish that I could finally have a relationship. Pretty pretty please with bells on.

 

I wish the same for you.

I wish I could find people who shared my intellectual interests.

 

Granted, now there's nothing left to talk about since everybody has the exact same interests and intelligence levels, so you start stabbing each other from sheer boredom.




I wish I was famous.

 

Granted, but your fame is so great you're trampled to death by your own fans trying to get just a piece of you.

I wish to live in the Adirondacks with a loving spouse in a charming little cabin on Tupper Lake.

 

Granted, unfortunately you are buried under an avalanche, and since nobody knows you are there......there are no rescue teams sent.



I wish I had ultimate powers for one day

 

Granted, but you die after. LONG LIVE THE REBELLION!

I wish that I could have a glass of chocolate milk with peanut butter in it, mixed in such a way that they don't separate.

 

Granted, but you gain 10 lbs after drinking the delicious drink.

I wish I was a chess master.

 

Granted, but I misread 'Chess' as 'Cheese' when I glanced over it so instead you are really good at smuggling bears and horses .

I wish somebody gets that joke.

 

Wish granted, but they are in Nepal, herding Yak's.



I wish all humans were susceptible to my suggestions.

 

Granted, but now everyone blindly follows you and you've started a cult.

I wish I could read minds.

 

You say that like it's a bad thing.......
and like it hasn't happened already......

---------- Post added 28th Apr 2015 at 09:29 PM ----------

Granted, now you read everybodys mind at once, and cant take the noise in your head and go stark raving mad.




I wish I could have a nice long vacation of my choice, all paid for.

 

Granted, but on the trip you eat some bad food and end up stuck in your room the whole time.

I wish I could control time.

 

Granted, but now the Daleks are after you............ooops, here comes the Mother Ship.




I wish I had a dollar for every time I said fu*k

 

Granted...but you are buried alive in the mass of singles that comes from the skies.


I wish I could relax in the soft pink sand of Bermuda and swim in it's turquoise waters, which are never subject to shark attacks or jelly fish, due to the massive coral reef surrounding the island.

 

Granted! But due to global warming, toxic algal blooms develop and cause you to experience severe nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and open, running sores. And dandruff.

I wish we weren't destroying the planet.

 

Granted. But now we have no cars, planes or electricity. Life as we know it grinds to a stop and our government collapses. Anarchy rules. Also, everyone know that you did it. Better run!

I wish that I could instantly download everything on wikipedia into my head.

 

Granted! Unfortunately, the volume of data overwhelms your brain's circuits, and it crashes. When they try to restart your brain, it only has 4K of memory, much like an Atari 400. But you can play some funny retro games!

I wish the whole world was like Equestria, and filled with various My Little Ponies.