Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but the cat hates you and hisses.

I wish I had all the monies!

 

Granted, but only in ¥1 coins.

I wish I could make the poster below the person they dream of being.

 

Granted, but the person I dream of being is a sadistic killer (JK, I dream of being a great video game programmer)

I wish to be able to learn how to properly use a Katana within a week.

 

Granted, but in the process you accidentally kill someone that you truly loved.
(I'm so sorry, it's all I could think of)

I wish I had access to infinite knowledge.

 

Granted, but the earth is struck by a meteor and you are the sole survivor, leaving no one else to share your knowledge with.

I wish that I could know whenever someone was checking me out.

 

Granted, but no-one ever checks you out again.

I wish I had an infinite number of wishes.

 

Granted, but all wishes will be in the worst possible case scenario.
I wish I get to relive periods of history I choose whenever I want

 

Granted, but only the worst parts.

I wish Games for Windows Live didn't exist.

 

Granted, but instead you are subjected to an hour-long compulsory songs every time you open it. All of them annoying.

I wish laptop batteries didn't die.

 

Granted, laptop batteries are now our immortal overlords.

I wish I had a peanut butter sandwich.

 

Granted, but now that is the only thing you can eat for the rest of your life.
I wish i could read minds.

 

Granted, but you can only read the minds of worms

I wish I was good at fighting games

 

Granted, but that's all you'll ever be good at.

I wish the world only spoke one language.

 

Granted, but you don't know that language

I wish I lived in the 24th century

 

Wish granted but you will be a slave to robots who make you do a silly dance every 2 hours for the sake of it.

I wish we had green skin

 

You have your green skin, and that's a sign that you only have 3 days to live. Make them count.

I wish I wasn't so poor.

 

Granted, but you will find life has become repetitive and boring.

I wish humans were capable of telepathy.

 

Granted! You now feel the deepest emotions of every living thing around you! Have fun!

I wish I was less tired.

 

Granted but now you're always wide awake, unable to get any rest.

I wish people treated me like a king.

 

Granted! They'll treat you like they did Charles 1 and execute you.

I wish I could travel through space and time.