Corrupt A Wish

Granted but everything else would hurt

I wish to die and have everyone dancing on my grave

 

Wish granted but then you will come back as a ghost and party with them

I wish I had a cookie rn

 

Granted, but there are bugs crawling all over it.

I wish guys would stop trying to hit on me.

 

Granted. Nobody hits on you ever again.

I wish i had a tinier waist.

 

Okay, oops.....the operation didn't turn out quite so well......you shall be called Lady Wasp and enjoy your liquid diet. XD

I wish I could run away, on horseback into the sunset.

 

Granted but the horse will turn against you.

I wish for a hunk in a Lyon cloth to obey my every command

 

Granted! However, it's a magically animated hunk of ground beef, that has come to life.

I wish I could circumnavigate the globe in a luxury Zeppelin that wouldn't crash or explode.

 

Granted! But you have to fly with a horde of dirty pigs that ate beans.

Wish I could jump that high that I can see the Mount Everest.

 

Granted! The problem is, you don't come back down. You jump, but just keep going up, into the deepest reaches of space, where you meet your doom in the highly radioactive, air-free conditions. But the view is briefly spectacular.

I wish this job payed enough to take an occasional vacation.

 

Granted! But you will never come back down.

I wish that I had a nice car

 

Granted but it's an evil Autobot.

Wish I could swim with the dolphins and breathe under water.

 

Granted but you can't breath air only water.
I wish i could make time go as fast and slow as i can

 

Granted, but everytime you skip it, you lose a bit more of your memory.

I wish I had a 120 color eyeshadow palette.

 

Wish granted but 118 shades will cause an allergic reaction

I wish all the hunks in the world would fancy me

 

Granted! All the hunks of meat hanging in butcher's shops the world over all come to life, and decide they fancy you. However, due to the lack of refrigeration, they soon rot, creating a horrible odor and mess, causing the city to fine you millions of pounds.

I wish people had to dress like they did in the Edwardian era.

 

Granted. There are at least 50 that you're in love with and can't chose between, and each one fancies you so much that he wants to be your one and only. WW3 breaks out as the men that want to be with you fight to the death.

(oops! Granted. Ankles become illegal, leading to the elimination of all sports due to provocative tube socks. An obesity epidemic ensues which drains the economy and kills millions.)

I wish I had a six pack.

 

Granted! But you'll have them only thirty seconds per day, from 3:45:52 pm to 3:46:22 pm.

I wish Uma Thurman was my girlfriend.

 

Granted but she will pay attention to you

I Wish. Chocolate was healthy

 

Granted, but it tastes too healthy now.

I wish for a free trip to Tokyo, Japan.

 

Granted but the plane is packed there is snakes and lots of crying baby's on the plane.
I wish i could move to new york