Corrupt A Wish

Granted- you now produce the best orgasms around!
Oh, wait, you said origami?
Oh well, too late...

I wish I didn't misread so much...

 

Granted. You lose all ability to read.

Also really? That's a corruption? XD lol

I wish that the game I want will be available for download before the end of the year and I can buy it.

 

Granted .... But it's so expensive you can afford nothing but it

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I wish I knew what was in store for me for 2014

 

Granted. You die from terror immediately.

I wish cats behaved like adult cats all the time, even when kittens.

 

Granted. Unfortunately they behave like rabid tigers. Very hungry, rabid tigers.

I wish I didn't feel so depressed all the time.

 

Granted but you are now Sad all the time. (which is different)

I wish I was a nicer person.

 

Granted, however, you now have a green tint to your skin and can not get water onto you, for if you do, you will surely die.

I wish that I was popular

 

Granted, but now your face melted because....

um, because. BECAUSE YO' MOMMA! That's why!


I wish that my wish wouldn't be corrupted.

 

Granted. The paradox that this creates causes the entire universe to cease existing.

I wish I can eat really hot chillies with no ill effects.

 

Granted, but you can only eat the hottest peppers in the world from now on, if you even eat a single particle of another food; you die.

I wish that my jaw didn't hurt anymore(I've got wisdom teeth coming in)

 

Granted. You now have no jaw.

I wish that my computer would run faster.

 

Granted. Your computer sprouted legs and ran away.

I wish could get a girlfriend next year.

 

Granted, but not before me (so you are screwed)

Wish I could have a pool at home

 

Granted .... That's where hungry sharks and alligators wait for you to go swim

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I wish I was a bit taller ...

 

Granted. You are now 0.0000000000000000000000000000000001 mm taller.

I wish my dad would just buy me my new computer already. My birthday was literally three months ago.

 

Granted it's Windows Vista
I wish the other Nordic countries would abolish conscription already.

 

Granted, but WW3 happens so you're all needed in the army anyway.

I wish for international relations to go smoothly, averting any wars in the future.

 

Granted, instead, greedy, homophobic, sexist aliens attack from space and enslave human-kind, forcing everyone to wear gold-lame tutus and Ugg boots, and work 12 hours a day in a mining operation.

And, like all aliens, they have...probes.

I wish the Queen of England had to dress like Darth Vader.

 

Granted. Unfortunately she got the cursed costume and became Darth Vader, conquering the world with the Force and pink lightsabre.

I wish I wasn't so bored that I spent all my time on Corrupt a Wish...

 

Granted. You now split your time among several of the forum games.

I wish the post office would just deliver the package they were supposed to deliver yesterday, and today