Corrupt A Wish

Granted. But all the waffles are moldy

I wish I could speed read.

 

Granted. But you lose all interest in reading.

I wish I had a wardrobe that could create any piece of clothing I wanted/imagined.

 

Granted, but you unfortunately only imagine the skin tight, skimpy outfits standard to Magical Girl Anime and female super heros.

I wish people wouldn't blast music at all hours of the day/night

 

Granted, they now only blast music every other hour.

I wish I could eat nothing but ice cream and still be healthy.

 

Granted. However, ice cream is now the only thing you can eat. Oh, and it has to be sardine-flavoured.

I wish I could sing well.

 

Granted. But all you can do is sing!... even when there is nothing to sing about, when you are eating, when you are asleep in your bed, and when you're in a dead silent library and the old lady librarian is giving you the DEATH STARE.

I wish that I had more money!

 

Granted but someone will steal all of it from you.


I wish I have a girlfriend who will cuddle me right now.

 

Granted, but she is a hermaphrodite.

I wish that The Doctor would show up at my door so I could run away with him.

 

Granted, you hit him in the face with your door and break his beautiful face.

I wish I could move back to New York City.

 

Granted but NYPD cops banned you and you're not allowed to stay there longer.

I wish I can go back time. . .

 

Granted.But you go so back,that dinosaurs exist,and they end up eating you alive.

I wish for a bigger Tv.

 

Granted, but you can only watch it upside down.

I wish I could go out tonight.

 

Granted. However, you're struck in the head by a soccerball-sized hailstone within five seconds of leaving your place of residence.

I wish my cold would go away. :C

 

Granted,but now that you dont have a cold,you have many other diseases,worse than cold.

I wish i wasnt so annoyed right now

 

Granted, but you'll be annoyed again in 15 minutes.

I wish I could speak Polish fluently.

 

Granted,but you forget about all the other languages.

I wish i wasnt so quick tempered

 

Granted, you now get angry so slowly, you end up dieting from the anticipation of waiting to get angry

I wish that gift cards could be redeemed for the cash value.

 

Granted, they do and charge a 4500% fee for doing such a task.

I wish I could make people happy.

 

Granted, you now are a member of the oldest professoin on earth, you make people happy and then they pay you.

I wish I could win the lottery

 

Granted, but you must donate all the winnings to the Catholic Church.

I wish I had a bigger apartment.