Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but you don't exist anymore. =P

I wish I had a spaceship capable of faster than light travel

 

Granted, but you've also broken the laws of physics. The universe as we know it has ceased to be... good job =P

I wish I knew and could speak every human language.

 

Granted, you learn every language, but you go mute afterwards.

I wish that the Disney Renesaince hadn't ended.

 

Granted, but all of the Disney films end up being the same plotline over and over again.

I wish I could have supersonic hearing.

 

Granted, but all the sounds you can now hear interfere with the sounds of everyday life, and you can no longer function IRL.

I wish I could time travel

 

Granted, but without a TARDIS your body cant cope

I wish I was a pony

 

Granted, you are now part of the mall rides at Easter...

I wish I could play the violin like Paganini...

 

Granted, but everyone else in the world is now deaf...

I wish I could shape shift at will.

 

Granted, but you can't control what you shapeshift into.

I wish that for the next 24 hours, no one killed anyone else.

 

Granted, for the next 24 hours, no one has killed someone else...people keep dying however.

I wish I was a Viking...

 

Granted, but your boat sinks...:icon_sad:


I wish I could live in Alaska.

 

Granted, but a polar bear shits in your mouth at the crack of dawn every morning.

I wish I had all the ice cream on the planet.

 

Granted, but you develope lactose intolerance from all the dairy, and because of the fat you ingest, you suffer a myocardial infarction.

I wish I:
Was the Doctors assistant, had a lightsaber, was able to see the downworlder realm, and had the best wit on the planet.

 

Granted, but now you are just a character in a big crossover fanfiction story and you can't control anything you do. Plus on top of that the author targets all of the story's problems at your character.

I wish I could access the internet through my brain.

 

Granted, but your brain gets dissected so that people can find out how you did it.

I wish my cat liked cheaper food.

 

Granted, but once your cat starts eating the cheaper food he starts to get mad at you for not giving him the more expensive food once in a while and starts a cat rebellion against the cheap cat food companies and wins, only having expensive cat food remaining.

I wish I had a Hot Pocket.

 

Granted, your fingers get burned every time you try to pay for something.

I wish I could stop thinking about the apparent meaninglessness of life.

 

Granted, now you only think about the futility of existence.

I wish that I could believe that humanity is essentially good.

 

Granted. You now realize the answer is 42. However you have no idea what the question is, as you are only a small part of the computer that was calculating it; and it was destroyed 5 minutes before returning the answer. Good luck explaining it to the mice.

I wish I could hitchhike across the galaxy.

 

Oh, I do that anyway.

Granted, you believe humanity is essentially good, but is corrupted by capitalism and religion, and before it can save itself and become good, it nukes itself

Granted, but one of the people who picks you up takes offense at the color of your eyes and jettisons you into space, where you decompress and die.

I wish that everyone loved eachother.