I find the best people to talk to when i have an urge to cut is other people who cut. We all seem to have great reasons why others shouldn't cut yet when we apply them to ourselves we find it hard to follow them. i figured i'm start a thread to get a little 'support group' going for all EC members who self-harm, sel-mutilate, self-injure, whatever you call it hurting yourself. I understand that many of you out there want to help, and you surely can! but the point of this thread is for people who cut to help others who cut. this isn't a real 'group' but more a bunch of people who realize that they need to or want to change their bad habit of self-harm. we can set up sort of things like having some on one EC you can PM if you need to (you should have someone outside of EC too!), also we can post to each other how many days its been or if you do cut. if you want to participate in this then just post here following along the lines of mine: Hi, I'm Morgan and i've been cutting for over a year and self-mutilating pretty much all of my life in some form or another. I haven't cut since labor day weekend so however many days that it. (the closest real SI support group is in the UP in Marquette and i'm in Detroit.:dry: ) PS.If you don't want to make a post where everyone can read it you can just PM or anyone who answers this.
Excellent idea, Morgan! To keep this focused, can I ask everyone not to post if your answer is "no, never". Just respond if you do, have previously, or have been tempted. Thanks.
Well... since I grew up in a place that focuses too much on Vanity, I was always the point of attack for the other kids at school. They would tease me, hit me, insult me, and plainly just make me break down. All cause I was chubby. This went on for about 8-9 years or so. I was always told that that was the only thing they had against me, or that they were just jealous 'cause I was younger than them and still smart. I basically never believed the people that said that. Sometimes I would even have to cry myself to sleep 'cause I didn't want to have to go back there. It just hurt me too much to a point were I couldn't stand it anymore. I would have sudden thoughts of stabbing myself, cutting myself, choking myself. Anytime that I would pass by a mirror I would think of breaking it to cut myself. When I was in the kitchen once, I even grabbed a knife and almost did so. I just thought that it would be better if I didn't have to live anymore and that the pain would just stop. Eventhough I have never done anything like that, I still got an eating disorder, which I still have today. I don't like to eat, I barely eat in fact. Just cause I think of those people making fun of me cause I would eat too much. My family is scared that I lost too much weight, they're always asking me if I ate, which the answer is most likely no. What did I eat, which I would just say a bottle of water (in school) and a Kellogs bar in the morning (6 AM). I still have a very low self esteem, and it doesn't matter what people say to try to make me feel better, I still think of hurting myself, be it physically by cutting myself or internally by not eating well. I still have suicidal thoughts that just hurt too much and I just want them to stop, but I don't know what I can do. I want to be healthy and live happy, but I can't because I think so badly of myself no matter what.
I started thinking of self harm about 4 years ago now. A friend of mine used to cut pretty intensely, and was going through some similar issues as I was. It was always on my mind - I thought it could relieve the pain. So, I tried it. A few times. But, as much as I wanted to die to escape the pain, I am deeply unable to truly harm myself. I couldn't keep doing it after that. I'm glad it never escalated past that point. I still have urges to hurt myself every now and then. Sometimes when I'm depressed I wish I could bring myself to do it, or I wish others would hurt me. I have visions of people hurting me physically, of being stabbed and beaten. So, yeah, I've been there, I guess. But I never took it to the point where I know some of you have. You have my deepest sympathies, and I hope that, with the help of everyone else, you can overcome your habits and deeper problems to open the door to a better tomorrow.
yes, once, when I tried to become AN HERO. (4chan speak for die, for those who don't know)but, I got help from my friends and stopped.
I wanted to cut again yesterday midnight. :icon_sad: Then i googled the word "cutting". And after reading some study regarding it, i felt sleepy and went to bed.:icon_bigg
Could you please read through them first Then tell me your decision http://eqi.org/cutting1.htm#Why People Cuturge. i'm trying to put it off as long as possible. http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/cutting.html
thanks. i have seen stuff like this and it does ground me but reading about it makes me want to do it more. as does talking about it. two things that normally help people. i just become fascinated with it and want the pain and blood i hear people talk about it. then i start 'daydreaming' then become obsessed and so on till i end up cutting.
Are you alone now? Where are you family and your friends? What time is it there now? Please don't make me sad. When I am sad i think of cutting again :icon_sad:
Hi guys! I'm Dan, and I've been cutting for a few months now, but if you looked at my arms, you'd swear it's been at least a year. Having no real abuse in my past, my cutting stems mostly from self-hate, fueled by the abandonment of my parents never really being there for me as a kid (that's what the therapists think, anyway). I'm still to this day fighting urges. It's never easy, but with the help of other cutters, it's certainly less difficult. This is a great idea, Morgan! Please don't harm yourself tonight. You're a great, talented and caring person, and don't deserve to harm yourself. If you start, with the intent of doing just a little bit of cutting, you will get carried away. Trust me, it's happened to me many times. You can do it! Just hang in there! We're pulling for ya! (&&&)
I hope this doesn't apply to a "no, never" answer... but, I haven't and I wouldn't want to hurt myself physically but I find myself doing something close to cutting, but not physical. Lets say I am depressed... I don't allow myself to laugh or get over it. I feel like I should only allow myself to be happy when I solve the problem to my depression (when I fix what I am depressed about) I feel guilty for laughing and having fun when I haven't fixed it... Its sort of like cutting I guess, maybe not so severe but its emotionally, I don't know why I can be happy... I won't let myself.
I've been cutting on and off for the last two years. I try my hardest to stop, and temporarily suceed, but I always seem to start again. I'm not proud of it and am usually disgusted with myself afterwards. I always read that you're supposed to think about that feeling when you feel self harmful, but for me, when I'm upset, my only goal is to cut- deeper and deeper. This is truly a great thread, good idea!
I stopped last year, but its really hard, especially with what happened a couple of months ago. I've had depression since I was twelve, and I was nearly over it until it happened to me. Its taken every bit of strength I have not to just suicide. You can see so many scars on my thighs and arms and wrists, some of them needed stitches, and I knew they needed stitches, but I never got them because I would have had to have told my mum. She found out anyway though. But I'm going okay now though. I have a much better support base then I did, and a lot more confidence in myself. My only advice to other people is to stay strong and believe in yourself. It's really hard to stop,but it IS possible.
i cant say ive ever actually cut myself, at least not deeply. I have come close though. back in 8th grade after my girlfriend broke up with me i got really depressed--less for the reason that she physically broke up with me than the fact that i was deeply struggling with my sexuality. one night i used a thumb tack and scratched myself without drawing blood and etched a symbol into my arm. my mom ended up seeing it, thank god, and I spent the next three months in therapy which helped me out a lot. i have never considered it since then, especially now that I am comfortable with who I am.
I cut, past tense, and have scars to prove it. Not proud at all, but I saved myself from a lot of cliches by using paper clips, safety pins, candles, my teeth and fingernails instead of razors. I never wanted to die and I only did it because I was angry with myself or needed to feel like I was in my body.
