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Public Affection......

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by wtinal, Sep 1, 2007.

  1. wtinal

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    Well, I have at least a prospect in the dating world. So, I have this question to pose.

    I am naturally a "touchy" person with people who I dating. I don't mean french kissing or heavy petting or whatever. I am talking about holding hands, rubbing a person's back when they are squirming in their to stretch it out, touching a person's leg when sitting at a get together when talking is not ideal, etc.

    It seems most gay people I know are very careful about public affection. I never see them hold hands or anything. At church, things are of course different because I go to a predominantly GLBT churhc. But, in public, these same people keep their hands totally to themselves. Any thoughts? The way I think about it is, if I have to consciously never touch my partner in public to avoid whatever, isn't that kind of like being in the closet still - just a different closet?
     
  2. Paul_UK

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    For us it's mainly about avoiding problems with the general public who do not understand or accept same-sex couples. We don't need strange looks, muttered comments and possibly worse when we are just going shopping or whatever.
     
  3. wtinal

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    I think I am also looking to understand what the "public" is like. I, thankfully, do not have a first hand appreciation for that, so I would like to at least get a second hand one before I do something stupid.
     
  4. Latinokid

    Latinokid Guest

    If i ever go out with my boyfriend i wudnt give a $%#@ at what people say all i know is thats my mom take it or leave it. And i wud do anything that ahetero couple can do nothing is different and those close minded people are ignorant and stupid.
     
  5. Blue0090

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    I never had a boyfriend but I guess we would just act like buddies in public and not bfs.
     
  6. abercrombieboi

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    umm ok im not saying that im closeminded but with all my b/fs ive been very touchy feely, nuttin slutty but just yeah holding hands, kissing etc etc, i just prefer not to do it in public because well it would raise a few eyebrows and just give other ppl the wrong impression of me, like all the ppl i kno think that im the most flaming gay guy ever to exist andthat i cant do anything any other guy does, boy are they wrong, other ppl that dont knoe im gay treat me like one of the boys.....

    Just my own 2 cents
    Abercrombieboi
     
  7. Paul_UK

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    Remember the responses will vary in different areas too. Herefordians are not generally the most forward-looking people (Herefordshire being prominently farming, and Hereford city having a large social housing population) so it would not be the best place to be a visible gay couple in public. In a larger city with a more diverse range of people and a visible gay community things would be somewhat different, and we would be more likely to show that we are a couple in public.
     
  8. jroakwood

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    i dunno.
    i think its something of course, to talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend about first. to see what they think about this subject, and what they feel about it.
    and then do what you both want to do.
    i would have no problem holding hands in public, maybe more.
    i think its a shame i dont see it more often.

    but yeah, i think its sortof like being in a different closet.
    its kinda sad really. i dunno. if people dont see it how are they going to get used to it?
     
  9. Miaplacidus

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    Well - when I was with this guy we did the French kissing and heavy petting in public. We were very naughty. Yes, people looked at us with "those expressions" on their faces. And we were, like, yes, it's a guy, so what?

    I don't care about what straight people say. It's one of the only things people could say about me and I wouldn't care, in fact.
     
  10. Ciel

    Ciel Guest

    If I was with someone, most likely I wouldn't show public affections really, but I'm really weird, I feel really nervous upon like any sort of contact by anyone...>.>
     
  11. Hydrogen

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    I am touchy in public. I generally don't care what others think, however I do keep tabs on the people around me, since I do live in the "Good Ol South" and some people would pay to be able to "shoot a fag".
     
  12. JSG

    JSG Guest

    I don't hold his hand when walking but we do cuddle on benches or in a Café, or sometimes a little discreet kiss on the back of his neck when shopping.
    He's still in the closet and there's so many people in Paris, there could easily be someone he knows walking by.
    Oh well, I don't mind, I understand.
     
  13. gabriel1

    gabriel1 Guest

    I generally don't like any public displays of affection from anyone period.
     
  14. Jeimuzu

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    I'm an affectionate person, I don't want to pretend I'm not. I don't like the idea of trying to be discreet just because the general public looks down on me.

    However, I've not got anyone to be publicly affectionate with, so it's currently a moot point.
     
  15. Tom

    Tom Guest

    id do w/e i felt like wen with me b/f, when i get 1, as long as hes fine with it, i dont give a flyin fiuck what ppk think about me
     
  16. Psych!

    Psych! Guest

    Yeah, I would find a gay couple that's together in public very cool and it gives me confidence.
    The only problem is that my homophobic parents would ruin the moment by either critizicing the couple or telling me to stay away cause the would rape me or something
    That would just ruin everything. ​
     
  17. beckyg

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    Paul's right about it being different in different places. My son would be very cautious about holding his bf's hand here in my little town but in downtown Portland, nobody bats an eye.
     
  18. katmando

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    Here is my take on it. Its somewhat mixed. I generally don't like public displays of affection, rather it is gay or straight. If I see a couple out and they are holding hands that doesn't bother me, a light kiss or any other light kind of affection whatever it may be.

    Since society in generally hetrosexual, I would not engage in public affection(like at dinner/movies), because I want to have a nice time out, and don't want to hear any comments.

    I have heard other hetrosexual make comments like get a room if they see other hetrosexuals making out in public. I find heavy amounts of public affection obnoxious. I think so do most people.

    I am not in a relationship now, but wouldn't have trouble with affeection for my boyfriend/partner in a gay club. Even though it may be a little obnoxius, I don't think I would have trouble making out in a gay club :slight_smile:
     
  19. Zec24

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    Call me a Victorian, but I'm not really a fan of public displays of affection regardless if its a homosexual couple or a heterosexual couple. Then again, I'm not an overly affectionate person and am not too touchy feely. I guess I wouldn't mind people holding hands in public, but...

    Ironically, I've been in NYC with my best friend who is such a germaphobe she will not touch anything on the subway trains, so when we are on the train she holds on to me. I have definitely seen people give us some looks for that, which seems strange to me one because we are in NYC and two because we are in no way "together". I guess its because of the way I look ( I don't really dress femininely).
     
  20. wtinal

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    I really appreciate all of the feedback.

    And just to add, the person and I have actually decided to date!!!!(!) (!) (!) (!) (!) I honestly thought it would be a long time before I started dating anyone. I am so excited -kind of like I am in high school.(!) (!)