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Bi-Polar, DID, or Similar Disorders.....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by wtinal, Aug 27, 2007.

  1. wtinal

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    I am wondering if anyone has one of these disorders or is dating someone with one of these disorders. I am very interested in a person with Bi-Polar, but I am a little nervous about the diagnosis because of the heavy mood swings. Obviously, I want to hear positive reasons to date her. But, it would be helpful to hear the pitfalls and how to help or support her with the disorder.
     
  2. Moth

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    My sister is probably bi-polar (she won't go to a doctor to get diagnosed though) and I have an uncle who is bi-polar. Also, my brother's girlfriend is bi-polar. It's actually fairly common, so don't get discouraged. Usually once people who are bi-polar are diagnosed and given medicine the condition improves greatly. One of the biggest problems however is stubbornness. Often bi-polar people refuse to go to a doctor or take their medicine. My uncle does very well when he takes his medicine, but the problem with being bi-polar is that when you take your medicine you feel so good that you think you don't need it anymore and stop taking it, and so you go downhill again. Encourage her to take her medicine all the time, no matter how good she feels or if she think she doesn't need it anymore, and try to accomodate her. Be prepared for the mood swings, know that they will happen, and be ready to adjust. You may need to be a little more sensitive to her at times, and sometimes you may need to know when to give her a little extra space. It helps a lot if you get to know the person and how they behave during mood swings and some of the things that may set them off so you know better how best to act and how to prevent conflict when possible.
     
  3. beckyg

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    One of my best friends is bi-polar. One thing I learned immediately is not to take things he does personally! He's reacted to things I've did or said in a way that if I took personally, would be deeply hurtful. We've always worked things out and I treasure his friendship. Like Moth said it is very managable with medication. I wouldn't walk away from a potential relationship because of this. Just know there will be times when they may act out of character and be prepared to deal with it.
     
  4. 24601

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    I'm not sure what exactly my disorder is, though I have an idea that I may also be bi-polar, or at least clinically depressed (I don't really know much about them, and haven't been to the doctor yet, although I am going on Friday). I can tell you truly that when things get bad, I do things that I regret. I do not mean them, but I understand that it can be hard to cope with. I know I'm not very desirable to be around when this happens, yet I'm lucky to have friends and a boyfriend who can put up with it, and who understand. Hopefully the medicine will help, if I do get any.

    Ultimately the choice is your's, yet I'd say go for it. Just be prepared that there may be some rough spots down the road. Yet, if you still love each other, then I'm sure everything will work out. It's a rough road, but hopefully one you two can travel together.

    As how to help, just be supportive, and make sure you're always there for her. Don't let her push you away, and don't take anything bad said during these moods personally. There might be some things you say that set her off, but don't take it personally (unless you meant it personally). Right now I know I'm painting a bleak picture, but with emotional support and medication, it's not as bad as I'm making it seem. I believe you two can be happy together regardless of any depression problems.
     
  5. wtinal

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    Thank you guys so much for your feedback. It is helpful to just hear some thoughts and encouragement.

    Right now, I don't really have the nerve to talk to her about dating anyway. I think I have the whole possibility of rejection fear happening in my brain right now. I hope I will be able to ask at some point.
     
  6. jayden

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    what does bi-polar mean??? are people born this way??? and can you get better from it and not have it when you grow up older???
    my mum and dad have taken me to a lot of doctors and speciallists since i was a little kid becuase i have learning problems and also other people find me hard to under stand what im trying to tell them and i find school very hard etc etc . this will probaly be bad for me in a relationship later on ??? mum and dad said some doctors think im dyslexic. can this be like bi-polar also??? what does DID mean also???
     
  7. wtinal

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    Bi-Polar is a mental health disorder. It is also commonly called manic depressive. The idea is that those with the disorder often have periods of mania (hyperactivity x 1000 - example is not sleeping for days at a time and having a lot of energy anyway) and then also periods of severe depression. Yes, I believe people are born with Bi-Polar. It is a condition of the brain, so medication is VERY helpful.

    DID is Dissociative Identity Disorder. It used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder. It is a condition where a person dissociates to some degree or another. Everyone dissociates - for example, daydreaming in class. But, people with DID often have "parts" who take over and sort of live their life for hours or days or weeks. It is complicated to explain.

    Neither of these disorders have anything to do with Dyslexia. Just because you find school hard and have a difficult time having people understand you does not mean you will not be able to have good relationships in the future. And as I am learning, love knows no bounds. If I love someone, a disorder or mental health problem or learning disorder does not mean they are not worth the time or energy.

    The truth is - there is nothing wrong with you. You may have some challenges and some learning disabilities (or whatever it might be), but that does not mean there is something wrong with you. You will find someone that is just right for you!
     
  8. tehnathan

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    I'm bi-polar affective (there's a difference) and used to date a guy with avoidant personality disorder (at least I think that's what it's called).

    Those two didn't exactly mesh, and the relationship ended up being a disaster.

    Mood disorders (not to mention mental disorders) run in the family so there was no avoiding it, I was going to end up either having depression, anxiety, bi-polar or something close. My uncle actually is bi-polar and he doesn't know what he's doing half the time (yes, seriously). I'm glad I'm not quite at that point.
     
  9. tehnathan

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    jayden: Basically the long and short of it is, it's something you develop over time (just like anxiety, Asperger's, any other kind of mood disorder). It's genetic so it's hereditary. It's perfectly treatable - or not - it depends how severe the person's disorder is.

    I welcome PMs if I can help anyone understand it better.

    This will help also - Mood Disorders Q&A

    General disclaimer: Part of that page is written in a sarcastic point of view (just in case your sarcasm detector doesn't go off).
     
  10. jayden

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    thanks i under stand now what bi polar and did is now. does genetics and hereridary mean that you get it from your mum and dad???
     
  11. hideinyourshel

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    yes jayden - hereditary means it is passed on from parents to children. Genetic means its contained in the genes, so is generally hereditary.
     
  12. tehnathan

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    Hey, I was about to say that!

    ...but yes. Genetic means that it's in your DNA, and that starts a mini-science lesson:
    Deoxyribonucleic acid, or DNA, is a nucleic acid that contains the genetic instructions used in the development and functioning of all known living organisms.

    So in short, everything that makes you who you are is in your DNA, and genetic information gets passed down from one generation to the other (heredity), so you could inherit things like your eye colour (brown is usually the dominant eye colour), mental disorders, mood disorders, height, physical similarities (if you resemble one of your parents), sexual orientation, etc.

    So if you ask, where do diseases come from, it's due to genetic mutation or damage. A mutation in one or more genes could cause any of these things.
     
    #12 tehnathan, Aug 31, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2007
  13. jayden

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    thanks hideinyourshel and tehnathan i under stand this now
     
  14. sicksicksick

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    I have MPS/DID. I take it for granted but most people around me find it very frustrating.
     
  15. tehnathan

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    :| *hugs to sicksicksick*
     
  16. wtinal

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    MPS???
     
  17. tehnathan

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    Multiple Personality Syndrome (or more commonly known as Multiple Personality Disorder), according to the Wikipedia page for DID.